Monday, December 13, 2004

How Observant

I must be an idiot or someone who just doesn't get it. Everytime I go in for a facial or an eyebrow waxing, I get excited for the pampering and the fact that I'll walk out looking better than I came in. It's like I'm doing something good for myself. I should walk away feeling confident and simply gorgeous! Everytime I leave from a facial or an eyebrow wax, I feel anything but. What is it with me and waxing? I had an appointment at the Nordstrom Spa on Friday. It's very convenient, just down the road from my office. I am taking headshots tomorrow so I wanted to make sure that my eyebrows looked manicured and perfect for a closeup of my face. As I am escorted into a serene room, I am asked to lay down on a bed that is covered with an expensive material. I'm lying there eager for the outcome when all of a sudden, the esthetician pulls a circular florescent light right up to my face. If I hadn't closed my eyes quickly, I'm sure I would be suffering from blindness from this day forth. She begins to poke and prod my face. She asks while pointing to an obvious monstrosity on my face, "are you pre-menstreul"? I wanted to say, "DUH!!! Aren't you observant. Hey everybody, it's Sherlock Holmes! He does facials now." I go in for a simple eyebrow wax and they can't just focus on that area! Why do they have to pick apart all of the flaws of my skin? Fun Memory: My mom, sister and I had a fun girls weekend in June and we stayed downtown in a gorgeous hotel and decided to have a spa day. We were giddy for our facials, massages and manicures. Each of us left for our individual facials with a smile. Each of us returned with tears filling our eyes. My mom said, "I feel ugly and old." My 20-something sister had a similar comment. I felt like any moment I would come down with skin cancer and I should put all sorts of ointments and moisturizers on my face or there would not be a hope in the world for me. I would end up wrinkled without my nose at the age of 30. I felt as though I was in the principals office being scolded for something I really had no control over. I was waiting for a spanking for daring to have teenage acne at the age of 28.
Back to the present: So I have these headshots tomorrow and wouldn't you know it, it's prime time pre-menstreul blemish explosion on my face. WHY GOD, WHY!!! I'm hoping the photographer can do a nifty little thing with photoshop. Then she asks, "would you like me to wax your upper lip." "Sure, why not, I want to look magnificent!" As I am handed the mirror, I almost screamed! My eyes had strips of red skin just under the brow while my upper lip looked as if I had a red mustache. The horror! Even more horrific, I had to go out in public like that. How could I make my way from the 3rd floor or the Northbridge mall to the streets of Michigan Avenue with no one asking me what happened to my face. You have to give us women credit, we do some pretty ridiculous things to look good. As I passed a store, I was enticed by the material goods so I had to walk in to make a possible purchase. I caught one glimpse of myself in the mirror. It was worse than I thought! I practically ran out there and cursed the weather for being too warm for a scarf that day. I could have wrapped it around my head and walked around incognito. Thankfully it was dark and raining outside. I had one hour before I met friends for a movie. I spent that hour walking up and down Michigan Avenue hiding my face with an umbrella and hoping the cold air would sooth the stripped skin. I felt anything but confident and sexy. Is it an estheticians job to make you feel bad about yourself? No, but it helps their career to point out all your flaws and say that your only hope is them! You just can't win!