Prized Idiot

I walked into work on Wednesday feeling cool and refreshed after a five day trip home to be with my family over the Independence day holiday.
I looked cute in my new Banana Republic skirt with a nice sweater tank top that sported my nice tan (praise the Lord it covered up my drastic running tank tan line...again, not that I've been running). I sit down and greet those walking in and all of us chatting merrily about our holiday weekends. That's when my boss walked up to remind me that we had an important meeting that morning and I needed to go home and change into a suit. THE HORROR!!! First of all, I don't like doing things wrong. If I've done something wrong, I want to be the one who recognizes it. So red faced from embarassment and moments away from a panic attack, I raced home in a taxi ($12 down the drain thank you very much) and changed into a suit (and we all know I don't like suits). Then as I'm walking to my car to drive back to work, a hem of one of my pants comes undone and I have to tack it up with huge safety pins. I park my car ($12.25 more down the drain) and sneak back into work so that no one really notices. The meeting went great but my esteem was shattered. Ultimately no big deal, but I might as well have had the word IDIOT pasted to my forehead.

Last night I had a fun 50 minute journey home from class. As I stood on the platform waiting for the Red line for 30 minutes I kept contemplating jumping ship and riding home in a taxi. But due to the previous days' events I decided I needed to save the money. FINALLY the el arrived and I stepped into a crowded car. One thing I've learned is that if they el is running late, expect it to be packed with people when it arrives. I wasn't disappointed. I noticed people weren't sitting in the seats and then I noticed why. Hot Dogs smashed on the floor. Hamburger buns sticking to the windows with a paste of mustard and...gag...ketchup (can't stand the smell of ketchup). Now I'm no detective but I'm going to guess that someone had had a food fight.
So I ride home trying not to dry heave and pretend that nothing is abnormal with food thrown all over the car. It's late but I decide to walk through the alley anyways. Honestly, it's better lit than the side walks and plenty of other people decided to take the same route (don't worry mom). Some random man with a back pack starts singing at the top of his lungs and swaying back and forth. He starts looking behind him and I immediately speed up my pace to just get out of there. As soon as I pass him, I notice he stops behind a dumpster. Next thing I know, I hear something similar to Niagra Falls. Well that just made my night. I got to hear a man urinating in the street (don't like that word either). I exchanged comments with a fellow innocent bystander and headed home to the safety of my apartment.

What an exciting life I do lead.