Thursday, December 31, 2009

How Did You Spend Your New Year's in the Decade of 2000?

2000 - Ushered in Y2K at a party at my parent's house and then went with friends to downtown Dallas where we watched the lighting of something we once thought was important but now I can't remember.

2001 - Probably some miserable singles party for church. Beck? Was this that horrible year? I try to put it out of my memory because it was THAT BAD! Church + Singles = Nightmare NYE.

2002 - Was this the year Dallas iced over and Becky, Erin, Andrew, Chris and I went sledding behind our parents' golf cart? That was one of the best New Year's Eve parties EVER! I still want to see the video of Becky flying off the sled.

2003 - Second worst New Year's Eve nights ever. It started off great with Becky, Greg, and Becky's semi-boyfriend, Barrett (whom we dubbed "Barry"). We ate dinner and Greg went to meet some other friends. Then we hung out with Barrett and Becky began to realize that he was old because he didn't know about the Goo-Goo Dolls. We were back in bed around 11:30 pm and asleep. Ugh, that was painful.

2004 - I had just moved to Chicago this year. Patrick and I had friends over to my parent's house to watch movies outdoors on a big screen. Fire place was roaring along with the heaters and it was so much fun.

2005 - Probably one of my best memories. Becky, Russ, Wendy, Kristen, Patrick and I headed over to a house where Hattie was house-sitting. We cooked a huge dinner and sat outside talking, eating and laughing until the wee hours of the morning. Then we had one huge slumber party and a massive breakfast in the morning.

2006 - We tried to create the magic this year but it just couldn't live up to the hype.

2007 - I flew back to Chicago, ate dinner with the roommates and we went and saw Blood Diamond. We are so exciting.

2008 - I was in Dallas and Becky was pregnant. She, Russ, and I went to a delicious Italian restaurant in Lakewood and then sat with all the old people to watch a movie at Mockingbird Station. Was it Charlie Wilson's War? I loved it!

2009 - An exciting night of dinner and Scrabble. Janell, Kate, Alyson and I kept it low-key (aka. lame). I do remember dominating the Scrabble game. I knew then that 2009 would be a good year.

2010 - Party at our place! Should be a fun night.

So long 2009! What will the next 10 years hold?

Look into the Future

I just read this horoscope from some Yahoo website about what 2010 will look like for me.

Year 2010 Overview

Okay, pause for a moment and check your pulse. Still there? Good. That means you survived the last couple of years with both Saturn and Pluto in less-than-perfect places for you. And by "less than perfect," I mean "lousy." Good news! Both of astrology's heavyweights have moved on to more constructive places for you. Now is the time to take that famous Pisces sensitivity (still intact from the challenges of the last while) and put it to work making your life a happier and more comfortable place.

You'll be receiving a lot more attention from others in 2010: loved ones, family and co-workers will all be drawn to you at times like moths to a flame. And as a result of the last couple of years worth of hassle, you'll be a stronger person with better judgment, and much better able to handle the influx. Enjoy your new position at the center of your own social circle!

One more noteworthy change from the previous year: Jupiter will be in your sign for most of the year, giving you a newfound sense of optimism and happiness about things no matter how they turn out. You'll be feeling expansive, but be careful not to expand too much -- this transit also comes with a more than usual chance of weight gain. There will be a renewed emphasis on health, fitness and personal well-being in the spring -- take advantage of that. Then again, maybe you just deserve the break. What's a pound or to compared to real happiness?

So I was all into this horoscope thinking, "yeah, yeah, I like where it's going. It will be so right on! Goodbye Pluto and Saturn - whatever that means! I will be the center of attention. Hooray! Not only that but I will rule with wisdom (picturing myself dressed in a black robe and a white wig resembling old school Parliament)." And then I read about the potential weight gain and now choose to believe that it's a load of crap!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Gluttony

Dear Lord, forgive me for the gluttony that took place this past week (she says as she shoves another handful of Swedish Fish in her mouth). My diet consisted of chocolate-covered nuts and Milk Duds. Ugh, I feel sick just thinking about it. I felt sick about it yesterday but it didn't stop me from eating even more today. Everyday I say "Tomorrow!" Well, I think I need to mean it. I have no plans tomorrow night so I think I'll go to the store and prepare for a week of detox, headaches from lack of sugar, and my digestive system straightening itself out. Wow, this sounds a lot like rehab.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

VPL

My mother would be horrified.

I'm rockin' navy velour sweatpants with a different color navy blue top, brown Uggs, and some serious Visible Panty Lines.

It's a laundry night. Laundry rule: You wear your most unfavorite panties so you have as many clean pairs of favorites available as possible.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Video of Laken

Here's a video Patrick made of Laken's first day in this world. Precious.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Laken Orender

Laken Orender was born today! He came in at a stunning 6lbs. 11oz. Alicia and Laken are doing great. Liam got to hold Laken and kept saying, "He's growing!" Patrick said that Laken looks just like Liam when he was born. He's destined to be adorable.

Thanking God for another healthy baby! Congrats to Patrick, Alicia, and Liam! Happy to be an aunt again.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Family Networking

Facebook gave me two crushing blows recently:

1. Found out my little brother is "in a relationship." Um, thanks Andrew. Glad I could hear it from you. That makes me the one single kid in our family - again. Work with me Drew!

2. My Dad has more friends on Facebook than I do!

Thursday, November 05, 2009

iPhone Gloves

Purchase alert! I visited the Nordstrom sale today. I'm still giddy just thinking about it. How I've missed shopping. I digress.

One of my frustrations with the iPhone the past two winters is that I have to remove my gloves and risk frost bite in order to answer my phone or text someone. Today a discovery was made! They are now making special gloves you can wear that work with the iPhone! There is special fabric around the pointer finger and thumb that allows the heat from your fingers to reach the phone.

They're part of a special trunk sale this weekend. I pre-ordered mine after making sure they worked (they do) and get to pick them up on Monday. They come in many wonderful flavors.

Jock Jams

After attending the Dallas Cowboys' game on Sunday at the new Cowboys Stadium I had a thought:

If my office played upbeat music and my co-workers clapped their hands when I walked into the office, I'd be pretty pumped up for the workday, too.

I wouldn't mind wearing spandex either.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Getting Stronger!

I have a new trainer and we met for the first time yesterday morning. So far the results are that I'm limping around, groaning everytime I stand up, and I can't decide if my boobs hurt because of PMS or because of the "Superman" sets.

He gave me my story of the day yesterday. I'm doing the Arnold shoulder presses while lunging down the center of the gym when he squats down to my eye-level, gets uncomfortably close to my face and says, "Are you a sheep or a wolf?"

"Ummm....what?"

"Are you a sheep or a WOLF?!"

"Oh, you're serious. Uh...umm. I guess it depends on the day?"

"In order to protect the sheep, you have to kill the wolf. In order to kill the wolf, YOU HAVE TO BE THE WOLF!"

Yes, a huge 260 pound, 6-foot 4-inch, college football-playing man with biceps the size of my head is my new trainer. I'm scared.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

High Maintenance

Today I realized that my car is old. It has its quirks. I never gave them much of a thought until I had to valet it today for a work event. Hopping out of my car I handed the keys to the valet and gave him a list of tricks to make sure my car didn't lock down and revolt.

1. The remote to unlock the doors doesn't work all the time. If you click it you may trip the alarm which means the car won't start. So don't use it. Ignore it.

2. If the alarm sets itself, you'll have to use the remote but it may take a little while for it to work.

3. To unlock the door you have to use the silver key in the passenger-side door. It won't work in the driver-side door.

4. The silver key won't work to turn on the car. You have to use the black key to make the car start.

I love my car and will miss it dearly when its time to let go. I still think it has a few good miles left, but I won't mind having a few of the bells and whistles a newer car has to offer - like seat warmers! They sound so good this time of year.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Single for a Season or Single for a Reason?

Today's Lunchroom Theory: Change of seasons can either make or break a relationship.

Take a moment to ponder.

Imagine this, you go on a date with a guy who is cute and you're thinking there might be a little chemistry. You're at your front door ready to say good night. You stand gazing into each others eyes. Is he about to move in for a kiss? Next thing you know, he shivers a little, says, "it's cold" and proceeds to place his man muffs over his ears. Romantic moment RUINED! Man Muffs are responsible for yet another failed relationship.

Another co-worker, Elizabeth, tells us a story about a guy she was beginning to date just as fall turned into winter. Rumors of him walking the streets in a Jets coat circulated. But no, surely it can't be true. She wouldn't believe it. Then comes date number three. Jets coat makes an appearance. Relationship quickly evaporates.

Thinking we're shallow? Try this: It's late spring and summer is around the corner. You've fallen hard for this guy - well as much as you can in three weeks time. You've always seen him dress nicely in great jeans and a light jacket. Suddenly the weather warms up on a rare May weekend. He calls you to tell you that he's waiting outside your apartment to take you on a date. You run out the door, excited to see him. You stop in your tracks barely able to believe what you're seeing. He's wearing shorts. And they're short. Like 1970's professional basketball team short. Could you do it? What if they were once jeans that were cut-off mid-thigh?

I'm telling you, you need to at least date a full year before committing. Seasonal changes can tell you a lot about a person.

Monday, October 12, 2009

The Annual Visit

Sound the horn! Clash the cymbals! Fly the flags! It's time for my annual gynecological appointment! Hooray! Let's make sure that pap gets the clean bill of health.

Unless your pregnant, most women need to plan for this appointment. There's some preparation that must take place before you'll freely spread'em for the gynecologist. (Oh Mom, please make sure Dad isn't reading this...or at least reading it alone. You may have to hold his hand. I can almost hear him saying, "GEEEEEEEZ Kathryn!" But these are the facts of life. If I don't write about it, who will? Becky, that's who.)

My checklist:
1. Make appointment for first thing in the morning. This ensures ultimate freshness.
2. Shower...obviously.
3. Wardrobe choice - Wear something that's the clothing-equivalent to a cup of chicken noodle soup when you have a cold. Comfort food and comfort clothes can go a long way.
4. Are you lasered, waxed, etc.? You want to make their job easy.
5. Emotional strength - go ahead and acknowledge that immediately after the appointment you'll think, "that wasn't that bad!" But later you'll have a creeping feeling of being slightly violated. That's normal and it will eventually go away.

I think I'm ready. I've decided on leggings, a dress that's more comfortable than sweatpants, and a scarf. I'll call my girls for support. But the main relief is knowing that I'm healthy and don't have to do this for another 12 months.

Get those pap smears girls! Everybody's doing it.

Monday, October 05, 2009

Ordinary World

I thought you might be interested in seeing the trailer for Ordinary World, a film I did back in April. I think it's being released in a month or so. Exciting times!

You see my best feature rockin' the green DVF dress.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Long Hiatus

Sorry for the log hiatus. After the most fun summer of my life it's time to get back to business! I also want to mention briefly that I've started writing a book. So far it's little vignettes from my life - humorous and truthful all at the same time. I'm sure it will include many embarrassing moments that cause the reader much pain.

I'm not very far into it, but I think it's a good goal. I may use this blog to work out a few stories. I'll let you know how it goes.

Big News Everyone!

I would like to take this moment to acknowledge some fantastic news in the Orender family. Not only is my sister-in-law, Alicia, pregnant and due in December, but my sister, Erin, is pregnant, too! This news just couldn't get any better! Or could it?

Yesterday Erin and Chris went to the doctor and found out they're having TWINS!!! I cried, of course. I'm so excited for them. I'm sure they are frightened. They already have two boys at home.

I'll go ahead and answer your questions:
1. Yes, it is totally natural.
2. Twins does run in the family. My great aunt and uncle on my Mom's side were twins. Chris' great aunt and uncle were also twins. Do you see the pattern? Boy and Girl twins. So I'm thinking I could possibly have a niece in the near future! Three nephews, one more on the way. Don't get me wrong, I love those boys with all my heart, but come on, I need to have a niece to take shopping, talk boys, style for prom, etc. Chris wants two boys so he can start a gang.

Because You Couldn't Wait a Second Longer...

Good news everyone, I'm not pregnant!

Have I ever mentioned my hot dermatologist? He's beautiful. I have to see him every few months because of my super-strong face medicine. They need to check my blood to make sure my potassium levels aren't insane. Plus I like to think that he just wants to see me. I know, I'm dreaming. Whatever.

Yesterday I had my typical appointment. He looked too closely at my skin for my comfort. I know he's a dermatologist, but he makes my heart flutter. I probably need to get my moles checked but I just can't bring myself to let him see me naked. Never had your moles checked? I don't want to discourage you (because you really NEED to do it! Stay healthy!) but it can be a bit invasive. I just don't think I could take him studying every part of my body, closely, with a magnifying mirror with fluorescent lighting. It's just completely unnecessary to have to check my crack. Dinner first, please.

Tangent. Okay, where was I? Yes, typical appointment. He asked if I was on birth control because this medicine is not safe for unborn babies. Something about hermaphrodites. Anyway, I told him I wasn't but probably would have to get on it soon. "Why?" "Well, I haven't had my period in several months and I'm going to the doctor in a couple of weeks. She'll probably make me get on it." "Could you be pregnant?" "Um, no." "How do you know for sure?" "Um...because I'm not having sex??" Cue MOMENT OF AWKWARDNESS. "Oh, okay. That would do it."

We go through this every time I see him. He always wants to know why I'm not on birth control. I think he's finally getting it. He asked if he could just request a pregnancy test because doctors notes are now audited. I said, "Sure, fine, why not. But if it comes back positive..." "What? Immaculate conception?" "Exactly." I still wish it would have come back positive because that would have been quite the story! Was I drugged? Or was it the one time I wore shorts while riding public transportation? You never know on the CTA. Plus my family is fertile myrtle.

Struttin' It

Monday morning I was looking really cute. I was. I'm not going to deny it. Black pants, yellow, long, flowy sweater snugged tightly to my waist with an over-sized blue belt, and heels. I was working it. I was feeling it.

I had an appointment during lunch. As I was on the elevator after my appointment, a threesome of very handsome, young lawyers, decked out in expensive suits, boarded the elevator a few floors down. I smiled and they smiled back. One of them kept checking me out. Seriously, he gave me the up and down. I so knew he thought I was cute. Even as we were headed out the revolving glass door he turned around to look at me again. I have it, what can I say.

Chin held high I entered a cab. The perfect fall wind was blowing my hair blissfully. A few minutes later I was back at my work destination. Scooting across the back seat to pay the cab driver and exit, I looked down and noticed something. My zipper was down. Oh, okay, humility in check. Got it. Staring at my zipper, not me. Dang it!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Journal Entry of a Weak Soul

Dear Diary,

Why are there so many damn cookies in the kitchen? I feel guilty if I don't try them all. I feel guilty if I do. So I settled for the lesser of two evils. Now my mouth hurts from too much sugar.

And in case any of you were wondering if Rick Bayless' new restaurant, XOCO, was any good. It is. And he's just as cute in person. I could have reached out and removed a flake of torta from his beard. But I didn't.

Friday, July 17, 2009

The Things Our Parents Tell Us

I was listening to the radio the other morning and they were discussing adults who wouldn't do something because their parents told them not to do it. Correlating with it is advice your parents gave you or statements they made that you will never forget.

Some of mine are:
  • Whenever I use a credit card, I hear my dad in the back of my head saying not to use a credit card unless it's an emergency or you can pay it off immediately. Not a bad thing to remember. But I still feel weird using a credit card, no matter what occasion.
  • Mom - never leave the house without lipstick. I hear this in my head all the time. Do I obey it? To her dismay, no.
  • Dad - "If a boy tries to take advantage of you physically, grab his thumbs." I don't know why I remember this one. Grabbing his thumbs would be the least of his problems.

What are some things that your parents told you that you can't get out of your head? Or is there something that you still won't do because your parents wouldn't approve or think it's a good idea?

Dreams

I've had a bounty of dreams recently. One involved a theme of bad toupees and ended with Rod Blagojevich comforting me. What?

Another dream I had this week had me running around the city with friends when all of a sudden the sewers backed up and the streets were being flooded by crap. Crap as in...crap. Ew. Gross. We escaped to this old, victorian three-story home that served as some strange convent. It was almost like a combination of amish women and nuns. Then it turned out to be some kind of cult where they basically worshipped their vacuums. I said to someone standing next to me, "Hey, they feel the same way about their vacuums as we do our brooms." When I said this I meant brooms that we use for flying. You know you've been reading too much Harry Potter when it seeps into your dreams.

The final dream had my counselor writing it down and then analyzing it. She told me that I should spend the last 10 minutes of my session in a tanning booth. I said that I have some big stories to tell her and she responded, "I don't like to listen to these types of stories until Easter." RANDOM! She analyzed the dream. It's official. I'm a wacko.

A New Book

I am reading the most delightful book. You know it's good when you say "delightful" after only reading 16 pages. It's called The Guernsey Literary and Potatoe Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows. It makes me want to write. So here I am writing. Nothing good enough to publish. The book is comical, heart warming and just plain witty. Beckles, we should write a book together!

Has anyone read it?

Monday, July 13, 2009

Summertime in the City

I really am having such an amazing summer. I stopped taking classes, vowed to not partake in a play, and have sort of reacquainted myself...with myself.

Sunrise bike rides with Alyson, movies in the park with Jess & Jay, Ravinia with Cristin, laying out by the lake with Harry Potter, talking on a porch swing with a glass of Chardonnay in hand with Melissa, walk in the park with Kelly, So You Think You Can Dance with Janell and Carmen, mountain climbing in L.A. with Kathie, swimming with my nephews, cocktails at lunch with Beckles, High Tea with Mum, walks with Dad, dancing at Jessie's wedding with Erin, Bobtail ice cream, small group on Monday nights on Alyson's roof top, full moon reflection on the lake, pilates in Millennium Park with Jessie, etc., etc. I really could go on and on. I am so blessed for these gifts this summer. I'm looking ahead to the Family Reunion in Missouri this next week. I can't wait!

I haven't felt this way about summer since I graduated from high school. Feels good.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Slippery When Wet

Oh to be 18 again! Andrew and his friends are having the time of their lives. If only we had thought of this back in the day....

Monday, June 29, 2009

Working the Corner

Last night I went for a walk around the block to get some fresh air. It was gorgeous and the Pride Parade had finally disbanded and the neighborhood was de-trashed. Walking towards me a man said, "You know I want you, don't you?" Me: "Um, I do now!" Janell, let's just keep walking at a swift pace!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Must Protect This House!

One thing I don't get:

Micro-mini skirts and public transportation.

Seriously, I get the heebie-jeebs when I see girls board the bus in freakin' short skirts. Do they know who or what has previously sat in that seat? Protection from the elements ladies. Protection.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Dirt Bike Accident

This photo makes my ass twitch.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Wedding Day Predictions

Jessie & Jay got married this past weekend in Springfield, IL. Mom, dad and Erin flew up for the celebrations and we had a great time! Jess looked gorgeous, of course, and it was obvious Jay couldn't wait to get married. They're off on their honeymoon and can't wait to see them when they get back. I'll post pictures at somepoint. Most of them involve me and Erin being the silly girls that we are at the Lincoln Museum. (part of the reception included a tour of the museum. pretty awesome.)

One of the most precious moments of the weekend was when my Aunt Nancy found a paper Jessie had written when she was nine years old. In it she predicted what each cousin would be doing a few years down the road. Some she nailed right on the head - like Alyse being a pro-wrestler and poker player who knows how to cheat. Others came close - like Erin being a super-model, like a queen of the super-models. For me, she said that I ran a mile in 24 seconds and won a thousand million dollars and now live in Paris. Oui oui!

I absolutely adore family and cannot wait for our family reunion in July!!!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Every Man's Dream

Here's a picture Alicia sent of Liam titled "Every Man's Dream." Mom and I laughed so hard.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Los Angeles





You know why I'm not blogging as much as I used to? I think Facebook has taken over as the place I go to post weird comments and humorous anecdotes. Find me on Facebook, I'll be your friend.

I'm here in Los Angeles visiting my dear friend, Kathie. Kathie let me stay on her couch the first four months I lived in Chicago. She is a wonderful friend who was so generous with me when I first moved. Nothing has changed. I'm sitting on that same couch right now and she's shown me what Southern California has to offer. So tempting to move here! Especially thinking about what February weather would be like here versus a Chicago February.

Here are some pictures from my trip! I'm off to Dallas tomorrow morning to see Drewby graduate high school. Thank God for this amazing vacation!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Childbirth Face

Saturday I had an audition downtown for a short film. I arrived just as two other girls my age checked-in. We received a piece of paper telling us more about the film and the audition. After the "perform a two-minute monologue" came this phrase: "You will be asked to show your child birth face." Ummmm....WHAT? We chatted through nervous laughter about this new development. I mean, I knew the character gave birth and all, but... Seconds later we hear screaming from the audition room. Oh no, he's serious about this one.

"NEXT!" I go walking into the audition room and give my monologue. Then the director says, "Okay, now I need you to pretend like you're giving birth." I seriously hope this isn't some crazy fetish that this man concocted so he could get his thrills watching recorded videos of fake deliveries. I just know that someday, at a very inconvenient time, this video will pop up. I better never marry someone who wants to be President.

How did it go? Well, never having given birth before, I guess it went fine. I gave it my all. It's all about commitment. Go hard or go home. I walked out of the room and said, "It's a boy!"

I feel weird.

Give the Picture a Caption

Erin posted this picture of Archer on their blog. It made me laugh. Give the picture a caption. Best caption (chosen by me) just may receive a prize.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Last night's rehearsal was HI-larious. I really wish we had it on tape. That way you could see Magic Whore Lady come to life before your very own eyes.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Andrew's Graduating

I've been so emotional lately about one thing: Andrew is graduating High School. It's mostly a mixture of pride, joy, nostalgia and an overall unbelief that the past 18 years have gone by so quickly.

Andrew has gone from a hilarious, smiley, adorable, cautious, and loving little boy to a hilarious, handsome, courageous, leader, God-loving, family-loving man. But one thing remains the same, he's my buddy. I've always felt a strong bond with Andrew. He is absolutely the biggest blessing to ever happen to our family. Who can imagine life without Andrew? He was a surprise that no one expected but one that God knew we couldn't live without.



I'm so proud of him and all that he's accomplished in the past 18 years. It's fun to look back and see how much he's grown in his stature, his love and knowledge of God, and the wisdom and joy he has with his friends and the people in his life. My prayer for him from day one has been that God would bless him greatly and that he would be a leader for the Lord, have a heart for God and compassion for His people. God is good!

Please feel free to leave little love-notes and words of congratulations for Andrew in the comments section.

Look at our picture from my graduation on May 20, 1994: (yes I realize I need my eyebrows waxed)



Take a look at him now:



I remember taking this picture and thinking, "I should save this picture for when he graduates."15 years later... it's a miracle I still remembered!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Running Photos

I just received my half-marathon pictures through email this morning. Pictures of me running should never be taken. They should all be burned! Who wants to see their butt swaying this way and that? Who wants to see the skin on their face flying up and down? "Why do I keep my head pulled back?! I have a weak chin!" Plus I just look tired, sweaty and red-faced.

The final picture of me, Adrienne and her friend is actually good. I'd had about an hour to cool down.

Not feeling remotely sexy after seeing those pictures. Tyra! You need to do an episode on these kinds of photos.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Confession

I was driving to Indianapolis on Friday and a Miley Cyrus song came on the radio and I cried. I CRIED! I wasn't even hormonal. Don't judge me! I'm looking at you Becky Page. Seriously, have you heard her song, The Climb? Just so you don't think it was a moment of crazy emotions, I heard it on the way back to Chicago two days later - and cried. AGAIN!

Monday, May 04, 2009

What I Learned from Tyra

I actually learned something from watching America's Next Top Model. That Tyra, she's so wise. She told a model never to push her hips towards the camera if she wants to make them appear smaller. She was so right! Case in point:



Um, yeah. I know I've got birthing hips, but seriously. The reflective gear doesn't help much either. Note to self: Do as Tyra does - push those hips AWAY from the camera. Tyra, I can't thank you enough.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

H1N1

The Swine Flu is all over the news. I know we're supposed to call it by its technical name, so I did. I had to clarify that it was the "Swine Flu" otherwise no one would know what I was talking about.

I was iChatting with my mom last night when she informed me that my dad's dad (Grandpa from here on out) was not just the oldest of two kids. He was the oldest of six. I had no idea! I thought it was just him and my Uncle Pete (lots of funny stories involving the Happy Birthday song and alcohol). Mom said that Grandpa had three siblings die of the Swine Flu within one week of eachother during 1917 (or some year close to that date). WHAT? I can't imagine how hard it must have been for my great grandmother. It must have spread rapidly. Thank God for the media awareness we have today and great advancements in medicine.

Does anyone else feel a little weird when they say "Swine Flu"? I don't know what it is...

Friday, April 24, 2009

Shedding

When you've been bundled up all winter long in down coats, thick wool sweaters, angora hats and gloves, there's something odd about suddenly wearing a tank top in public - specifically one with spaghetti straps. I have to repeatedly tell myself that I am not a whore and that it's perfectly fine to wear a tank top in public; especially when it's 85 degrees outside (For the first time since October, bee-tee-dubs. It's been a LONG six months!). Am I the only one who feels this way?

Chicago is hopping right now. I spent my lunch hour getting my nails done (lovely Jelly Apple red by Essie) and running to pick up some frames for work. Hello tourists, you are back. But thank you for bringing the warm sunny weather with you! I am so happy it's warm that I don't mind the humidity making my hair frizzy.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

EWWWWWW

So I'm walking out of Walgreens Thursday night with Jessie when a woman comes walking towards us. I make eye contact with her. She suddenly stops, looks at me and says, "ew" and then keeps on walking. WHAT?! Jessie and I were laughing so hard. I had to laugh or I would cry. It did help me that Jessie also noticed that the woman was talking to herself before she looked at me and then she continued talking to herself as she walked on by. I'm thinking someone was off her meds. God let that be it!

My mom did ask me, "What were you wearing?" What was I wearing? Do you think she was responding to my outfit? Then she asked, "Well did you at least have on lipstick?" Um, no. I had on black velour sweatpants and my big puffy kelly green jacket. I had also been crying a mere two hours earlier (kick a girl while she's down) and I absolutely did not have on any lipstick. Mom's probably thinking that the lady was correct and that I absolutely deserved her remarks. (for those who know my mom, you know that she would never think these things)

What is up with people making random remarks to me? I went running a couple of weeks ago along the lake and stopped in front of my apartment building to do a few stretches. A man stops me and says, "Can I give you a comment?" I should have looked at him right then and there and said, "NO!" But of course I didn't. Next thing I know, he places his hands on my spandex shrouded buttocks. YES HE DID! "Whoa! Don't do that. What are you doing?!" "I'm trying to tell you something. People up and down lakeshore will make you pay $100 for what I'm trying to tell you. (he proceeds to touch my shoulder, then elbow, then wrist, over and over again) I have to touch you to show you. So..." Then he again places his hands too near my back side. I pull away and said, "Um, DON'T DO THAT! Move along." GEESH! Crazy middle-aged white man who appeared normal at first look. If anyone asks if they can give you a "comment" don't confuse it for "compliment."

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Liam Loves Me!

I love this kiddo! Seeing this video made my day. He's a heart breaker already.

Tax Day Freebies!

Happy Tax Day! I was informed that I get screwed on my taxes because I live in a state that has State Income Tax. I was also asked what our state does with this money. I said, "snow plows?" He said he thought that politicians pocket some of it. No! Not in Illinois!

Have you heard the latest? Blagojevich possibly going on a reality t.v. show? Please, make this circus stop!

Not only do you have hope of a tax return (I don't, thanks Illinois), but you also have freebies! Check out this list for participating restaurants.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Remember

Shoot - Day 1

My first day on the film set started last night. I had a call time of 7:00 pm up in Skokie and was told I would be done by 9:00 pm. I've done enough of these to know that 9:00 pm means midnight. And you know what? I was right! I got home just after midnight - on a school night (I have yet to brush my hair this morning). Thankfully we were filming in a house where I could laze about on couch and continue to read about the French Revolution. Is it strange that I always hear Coldplay's Viva La Vida when I'm reading it? The song makes so much more sense to me now.

Anyway, the green dress made it's film set debut last night! Stylishly played with a black three-quarter sleeved cardigan and some colorful jewels it looked smashing! I was feeling bloated. Probably from my binge fest with tortilla chips the night before. I wanted salt and I was paying for it dearly. Thankfully the shot was basically of me and my scene partner sitting in a car. I'll need to be much more careful before tomorrow's long shoot and some full body shots of me in the dress. Perhaps it's time to welcome back my friend - Spanx!

You know what makes me want to fall asleep? Someone putting makeup on my face. Seriously, it's so soothing. Play some ocean sounds in the background and I'm a goner.

Hopefully I'll take some pictures this weekend and post them for you.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Final Four

The Final Four haven't even played yet and I'm the guaranteed loser in my office pool. Fine with me! The person with the lowest points gets their $5 back. I'm going to take my winnings and buy me a three-pack of Orbit gum. I'm thinking cinnamon flavor.

Seriously, my points add up to 61. The next lowest has 83. That's bad. I have no one team in the final four. I'm wondering if I even had any in the elite eight. I don't care about college basketball. Arkansas hasn't been good since the mid-90's. Maybe now that Andrew will be there in the fall, I'll care a bit more.

Random factoid for you today: Sunday night a friend of mine made homemade ice cream. It was coconut lime with a jalapeno infusion. IT WAS SO GOOD! Sweet at first and then it burned you good.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Sunday Morning

I think this is officially the longest I've gone without posting in years. And I haven't even been on vacation! I've been working and rehearsing. That basically sums up my life the past couple of weeks. Oh, and I've been running. The Indy Mini-Marathon is in five weeks. I was supposed to run an 8K today called The Shamrock Shuffle. It's a big Chicago tradition. It was thundering and snowing when I woke up this morning. So I just turned over and went back to sleep. It's too dangerous to run in the slush and snow when I have a race coming up. I'm not broken-hearted about it. I got the free t-shirt.

Last night I had a Playground show. Since everyone was supposed to be taking part in "Earth Hour" we decided to celebrate it with our show. In case you haven't been connected with the real world, it's when everyone is supposed to turn off their lights for an hour last night from 8:30 - 9:30. I, of course, accidentally left on a lamp in my apartment. I don't like coming home alone to a dark apartment. So, there went that idea.

What was I talking about? Oh yes, our show. We decided to have all the lights turned off to perform the show. This is normally called a "Bat" - when you can't see anything on stage and you have to listen. It's a fun form. We decided to all bring flashlights and create our own lighting. It was pretty cool. Some of our scenes suffered because of it, but some really came together. I don't know if the audience liked it, but we thought it was pretty interesting and created interesting atmospheres and situations. I'd totally do it again. This time we will at least have an idea of what we're doing instead of discussing it as we warm up in the theatre bathroom five minutes before our show. That's improv. And I love it.

Hope your day is much sunnier and warmer than ours here in Chicago. I did watch a movie with the rooommates. Happy-Go-Lucky. It was a cute/interesting movie. I was just happy to be relaxing and not running off somewhere.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Renewals

Have I really lived in Chicago long enough to need to renew my driver's license? Seriously, where has the time gone?! Yesterday I was at the bank getting quarters for laundry. I tried to pay with my debit card and he asked for my ID. I showed him and he said, "I'm sorry miss, your license is expired." Wha, Wha, Wha, WHAT? I completely forgot that I needed to renew my license this 33rd birthday. I remember when I first got the license and thought that 2009 was so far away. Now it's here and gone. I wonder if I'll still be here in Chicago in 2014. FREAKY! I just scared myself.

Now onto deeper issues. What should I wear for my picture tomorrow? This photo must stand the test of time. If only I had bought that Medieval Times dress. (shakes fist) I'm just excited that in the "weight" category I may be able to drop it a few pounds. Yeehaw!

Monday, March 16, 2009

We Have a SXSW Winner in the Family!

Congratulations to my brother-in-law, Chris, and Tweet Congress for winning at SXSW this past weekend! They won top honors in the Web Awards' Activism category. Yay Chris!

Let's Joust!

This weekend Jessie and I escaped the insanity of St. Patty's Day crowds (really, I forget how many people live in this city until the weather turns warm) and headed to Barrington. An organization was holding a fundraiser of designer second-hand wedding dresses on sale for $50. We had to go! Jessie wasn't feeling confident of her dress (which is gorgeous and she looks amazing in it) and thought this might be a fun opportunity.

There were some pretty dresses, interesting dresses, and dresses straight out of a 1989 bridal magazine (puff sleeves made of pure lace). As many times as I've gone dress shopping with people I've never been tempted to try on a dress...until this weekend! I found one that was originally $3,000 and on sale for 50 bucks. It looked like it was straight out of a Jane Austen novel - so I HAD to try it. I mean, it was only my duty as an avid fan and thespian.
What do you think? For $50 I should have bought it and put it in my closet for a rainy day or homemade rendition of Sense and Sensability. It was fun to wear, but who has room for something like that in their closet? Let it be known that I would NOT wear a dress like this for my wedding. Unless we were getting married at Medieval Times.





Thursday, March 12, 2009

A Birthday Gift

My sister from another mother, Beckles, just posted one of the most beautiful, humbling, hilarious and honoring posts for my birthday. It's our friendship story. I think you'll like it. Most of you know and love her anyway. So please, for my birthday, go read it. :)

Here's my response:

I am speechless. I am sitting here in my bed with my computer on my lap (and freshly polished nails) tearing up and laughing hard all at the same time. You and I have the same favorite memories of each other. "Bestie" doesn't even begin to describe your importance to me. You are my sister. You are part of my family. They've accepted it and welcomed you with open arms.

Beckles, your words truly honor me and I am in awe with how much you love me. You've changed my life. God knew I needed you. Rarely does anyone have a friendship so powerful, so influential, so beautiful, so hilarious, so real and honest as ours. It is one of life's greatest gifts.

God bless Russ! I am so thankful that you have a husband who knows how important I am to you and you are to me. He's become my family too.

Kathryn Davy. You hold such a special place in my heart. Aunt Katy loves you!

Thank you, Becky. It is a Happy Birthday indeed!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Burfday

Somebody is a Birthday GRRRRL tomorrow! That's me! I love celebrating birthdays. I don't know why. Cake? Check. Center of attention? Check. Wrapped presents? Double check. Life assessment? Not always, but I'll go with a CHECK this year.

I've had a pretty great year. 2008 wasn't easy by any means but I really feel like I've taken steps forward in life. I don't look back and think it's been a stagnant year with no adventure, no sweat, no tears, no accomplishment. I worked hard this year taking classes, auditioning, performing, getting over myself, dating, and learning how to surrender my life to God - to REALLY surrender. And to me, that's the biggest accomplishment. Until I surrender, everything else is meaningless.

I used to think that there was no way God would want me to be an actress. I mean, how secular of a career can you get? But until I realize and believe that this actually may be what God wants for me, I won't succeed. I've prayed daily that if this is what He wants for me that He will open doors. Guess what? He keeps opening doors I never imagined possible! So I'm sticking to this road and loving every minute - well, almost every minute. I did have to kiss an 18 year old that one time. Then I scooped tootsie rolls all day. Oh and then there's auditioning. Auditioning could slay even the strongest man.

I'm tempted to think ahead about this upcoming year and share my expectations, hopes and dreams. But I think I'll relish the past - even if just for a little while. It's good to remember how far I've come because it gives me hope and a foundation for tomorrow.

Friday, March 06, 2009

NYC



What City Should You Live In?

You should live in New York City. America's largest city will ensure that you will blend into the crowd. You are the brooding type--introspective, creative, and eccentric--and NYC's cutting-edge, individualistic culture and ambience will appeal to you.

Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com



I just took a quiz on Facebook about the ideal city for me to reside. I think it was meant for college students since it asked about colleges and how your parents embarrass you (NEVER!). But hey, it was still fun. New York City? Really? Hmmm, interesting. And brooding? Never heard that one before...

I want to know what it says about you. Where should you be living according to an unknown computer survey?

Thursday, March 05, 2009

So Long to T.O. and His Huge Diamond Earrings

This story is just getting to me. Whoa! T.O. is gone. Is this what the Cowboys need to get their butts in gear? Let's hope so.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

A Good Monday

So I had a fun start to the week on Monday. First of all, I got a call to audition for an upcoming Sitcom Pilot. On a big network! Thanks to my friend, Cristin, for sending me the information. It was for the "best friend" role which fits me nicely; especially since the girl was just like me. Secondly, I got a call that I was cast in a short film that will be filming in April. I went to the callbacks on Saturday and was one of many people auditioning for the lead role. So of course that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside - hearing that I was WANTED! The skies were open and the possibilities limitless on Monday. I love days like that - days when you feel things are happening and you've stepped a little further in life. Progress feels good.

The audition was good. I won't say great because I by no means nailed it. I was all jittery and numb from having memorized 10 pages in less than 24 hours. They gave me a second read which was great and I felt much better about it. Wish I could do it again and knock their socks off. But it was a great opportunity and learning experience for me. I think my heart would explode out of my chest if I were to be called back. Oh the possibilities! lalalalalalalala...Katy, come back to earth.

Update on my eating:
I turned down chocolate cake and cheesecake last night. I'm committed y'all! Of course my birthday week is coming up and I pray God gives me strength and discipline for my birthday (along with movie roles and the love of my life). I lost 5.5 pounds quickly and then plateaued. It's frustrating eating good when you feel like it's not making much of a difference. I have a feeling I'll break the barrier soon and lose a couple more. Either way, I fit into my skinny jeans nicely this weekend. No stretching or day-dreaming of putting on sweatpants ASAP.

Monday, March 02, 2009

New Features

Happy March! March is a magical month in which you are pining for spring and yet still have to scrape the snow off your car. It's also magical in that there are many birthdays to celebrate this month - namely, MINE! Plus a couple of cuties (Liam and Connor - I'm looking at you!) turn a year older this weekend.

March is also known for hosting the worst movies of the year. Oscars are over and summer blockbusters are around the corner. This is when they turn out bad movies. I'm usually wary of big hollywood movies coming out this time of year. Don't get me wrong, if they offered me a movie part in a film coming out in March, I would embrace it - a full-on, lingering embrace that becomes uncomfortable for all parties involved. I'll probably spend more time at the movie theater down the street that shows independent films.

Why did I start writing this post? Oh yeah! I added two small little features to the left side. You can easily subscribe to my blog now. And I added a "Friends Who Blog" list. I started adding some and realized not all these people might want to be listed. So if you're listed and you don't want to be listed, just tell me. If you're not listed and would like to be listed, tell me. I'm on it!

Friday, February 27, 2009

Lunch Time Shopping Spree

This is my new purchase. No, I did not buy a model of a woman's reproductive system. They're my new headphones. My old earbuds collapsed and died. I'm sure I could recycle them some way. Instead I threw them in my trash. I suddenly got convicted. I'll dig them out and throw them in the recycle bin. Someone will know what to do with them.

Please don't tell me how I should have bought a cheaper but better pair of headphones. I don't think I can handle buyer's remorse right now.

I've been sick all week. I actually stayed in bed until 4pm on Wednesday. And yesterday was the perfect day to stay home since we had thunderstorms. Yes! Thunderstorms in Chicago...in February! I had to turn off the t.v. at one point because I couldn't hear it over the loud raindrops crashing onto my air conditioner. So I took a nap instead. It was a great two days. Which brings me to my point. I can hardly hear anything when I have these earbuds in my ears. Thanks to sinus congestion, I can hardly hear anything anyway.

Vote NOW! DO IT! DO IT FOR BECKLES!

Vote for Becky's brother, Josh!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Braids for the Ladies!





My tan and freckles are beginning to fade so I think it's time I blog about the Bahamas. I could rant and rave about the trip, but I'll save you time and just write the truth - it was AWESOME! I could also talk about how the water was gorgeous, the air warm, the sun hot, the bikini cute, the beach pristine, but I won't. I mean, it's all true and everything, but so cliche!

OH GOD I MISS THE BAHAMAS! (dissolving into tears) I came home thinking, "Wow, I feel like I live in the Bahamas and am just visiting Chicago." The island sucks you in and makes you forget an outside world exists. I want to go back. This is how Jack must feel on LOST.

Highlight of the trip was definitely swimming with the dolphins. Andrew and I did the "deep water experience" at Dolphin Cay at the Atlantis. We used these water propellers to take us diving into the water as the dolphins swam by and touched our legs. Then we layed on body boards with our legs straight out and two dolphins would swim up quickly, put their noses on your arches and push you across the water with incredible speed. I WAS IN HEAVEN! We also got to kiss the dolphin (best makeout session I've had in a long time) and take a few pictures. They're adorable. I wanted to put one in my pocket and take it home with me.

Funny story about my dad. I love my dad and all his quirkiness. I get it from him. Many of you know that he does not own a pair of jeans. Wait, he had to buy a pair a couple of years ago for a family photo - so he got them from Walmart. He said, "I left the tag on them so I could return them after the pictures." He HATES jeans. He is a walking advertisement for Under Armor. He gets cranky when he has to wear anything else. Kind of like my mom when she wears a thong. So we make reservations to go out to eat. Dad has on blue athletic shorts and t-shirt (probably clashing colors). I read that the restaurant says "resort elegant - no shorts." So I tell him and next thing I know he has on his long Under Armor pants with a matching jacket. Elegant indeed. One night we did get him to wear khaki pants and he complained. I had to remind him that he still had on an Under Armor golf shirt with his khaki pants. Love you dad!

Andrew was really sweet to allow me "beach time" in the morning and in the afternoons he and I went parasailing, hit the slides, swam with the dolphins, and floated away on the lazy river.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Yours Truly

Oh yeah, look who is moments away from being famous...amongst cat lovers. The infommercial is up and running! Check it out the Scoop Free Slide. I make a lovely face 10 seconds into the video.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Bahama-mama

You're going to hate me and I don't care. I'm headed to The Atlantis in the Bahamas on Sunday for a few days on the beach! (picture me with arms raised, fingers stretched in perfect jazz-hands formation, a big shameless smile on my face, and my white flesh gleaming in the sunlight.) It will be me, my parentals, and my travel buddy, Andrew. It's the only thing that's kept me going this winter and it's almost here!

I hate to leave you behind. I really do. I will take you with me and carry you around in the pocket of my shorts. It will be hot, muggy and a tight squeeze when I sit down...just like wearing a pair of spanks.

Bittersweets

These are HILARIOUS! I wish I had seen them before today because they would have been perfect to bring in for an office full of ladies.*

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Agent

I had an interview recently with an agent that wanted to sign me exclusively for TV/Film. I heard from all past teachers and other actors NOT to sign exclusively; especially when you don't really know the agency. So I sent an email saying that I would not feel comfortable signing exclusive but I promise not to have more than one other agency (even though I don't even have that one yet). I got an email back that was, let's just say, not so friendly. God answered my prayers on that one. I wasn't feeling great about it in the first place so I was happy that the answer was handed to me on a silver platter.

Of course I'm frustrated because I think - I know that I'm good enough to have a good agent working for me. I become impatient and wonder when doors will finally be opened. Today I read a little flip calendar at work my friend, Gina, gave to me. It says, "Be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you." 1 Peter 5:6-7. I feel peace and remember that God is in control. It's all about faith.

Something's Fishy

Last night I made fish tacos. I was so excited about how delicious they turned out the first time that I thought I'd make them again. It's simple:
  • Two wheat tortillas (nuke them for 20 seconds to warm them up)
  • Shredded Cabbage - place row on tortilla
  • Alaskan Cod - drizzle olive oil and salt & pepper - bake for 15 minutes at 450 - place a strip over the cabbage.
  • Salsa - fresh or any of your favorite flavors - spoon some on top of the fish.
  • Serve with side of salad or steamed broccoli.

They are seriously delicious. Unfortunately I didn't realize how badly the fish makes the apartment smell. I left for a while last night and came home to the house stinking of fish. I even smelled it in my sleep and it's still there this morning! I took out the trash, opened a few windows and am hoping for the best when I go home. I need to send my roommates a huge apology.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Tweets

Take a peek at this article that quotes my brother-in-law, Chris McCroskey. I had no idea he helped develop this feature. Maybe that's why he's always talking about tweets on Facebook.

Let me know who you follow!

UPDATE:

Check out Tweet Congress to follow your state representatives. Tweet Congress has also been nominated for the Web Awards at South by Southwest in March. Congrats!

Friday, February 06, 2009

Thursday Night Television

I can't even begin to explain to you how much I enjoy watching 30 Rock. I know I'm not the only one who loves it and Tina Fey has received more pats on the back than anyone this year. But last night's episode brought together two of my favorite things: Liz Lemon and John Hamm. The episode was hilarious and I giggle now everytime I hear the word "Generalissimo." If you missed it, you can watch the show here.

The deal has been sealed. I hate Grey's Anatomy. It's so bad it pains me. Seriously, I rolled off the couch onto the floor writhing in pain. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!

The Office seems to be embracing the goodness of the old days. Thank you. And Andy Bernard, you're Nard-tastic.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

The Snuggie

If you watched television at all over Christmas, you probably saw the informercial ad for Snuggies. We laughed our heads off in my family when we saw this ad. My thought was, "Why don't you just wear a robe backwards?" I have a feeling many a Snuggie will be given as a gag gift. The recipient will probably laugh and then secretly use it on those cold winter nights. I would love to see a man brave enough to wear it at a football game.

I thought this article was great. Do you think the Snuggie is awesome or useless?

Monday, February 02, 2009

Vote!

Vote for The Senate as Best Improv Group! Just enter The Senate in "Best Improv Group" section and then hit "Submit Ballot."

Treat Myself Right

Kids, I have been on an incredible eating revolution the past couple of weeks. There's nothing new or exciting about it. It's straight up discipline, eating healthy, and making wise choices. It all started after a lunch of a burger and fries at Weber Grill. I felt so icky sick afterwards and frustrated at myself too. I was tired of getting frustrated at myself, so I decided to do something about it. I think the timing was perfect. I was ready to make a change. So far, so good. God has given me strength the past couple of weeks. I pray that He helps me again at 3:00 when we have an office "Cake Break" for February birthdays. I plan on having an apple with me. I never like missing out on food.

The biggest part of the success so far (5.5 pounds!) is having a plan. I have a plan! I have a certain weight I'd like to reach in 10 weeks. I've alloted 1.5 pounds per week. Some weeks I'll lose more, some less. If I don't reach the goal weight, at least I've become healthier, less frustrated and will look damn hot.

Today's meal plan:
Breakfast: 200 calories of All Bran Wheat flakes with a few blueberries & 8oz. of skim milk.
WATER WATER WATER WATER
Snack (2.5 hours later): non-fat yogurt with 3 stoneground wheat crackers
WATER WATER WATER WATER
Lunch: Salad with tomatoes, mushrooms and low fat dressing. 4oz. Turkey on 2 slices of stoneground wheat bread with mustard.
WATER WATER WATER WATER
Snack: See above (it's easy)
WATER WATER WATER WATER
Dinner: 8oz. sweet potato with a dash of splenda, 2 cups of broccoli, 4 oz. broiled chicken
WATER WATER WATER WATER
**I have class tonight so I might have an apple to keep me going for three hours.

I keep it simple since I don't have much time to cook. I rarely eat out and I'm very specific when I take the luxury. I've realized it doesn't take THAT long to cook extras to reheat the next day. I set aside two times a week to have something not on my menu plan (raise the roof for Ben & Jerry's last night!). I mix it up with fish, fish tacos, fajitas, chicken-kabobs, brown rice. It's been really great. I feel like I have more energy, control, and I've actually been more productive in life. Plus someone told me I looked "tiny." Praise Jesus! Oh, I also do cardio and weights throughout the week - nothing earth shattering, but enough to get my heart pumping and my clothes soaked in sweat. Plus I have a certain accountability of having to pay $10 to an organization I do not support if I blow a meal.

God give me strength. My reward? A Diane Von Furstenberg dress, of course!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Very Funny

This could not be more true. That closet is a dream!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Published

My old trainer, Shelby, wrote this article. I feel like a proud parent. (wipes away tear)

Girl Scout Cookies

I think this only means that people will be eating more cookies. They'll think to themselves, "Oh, well they're smaller this year, so I can have more." That would have been my mentality too.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Donut Bliss

It's Friday! You know what makes me happy on Fridays other than knowing I have two full days ahead of me with no work? Pictures of cute kiddos! Archer wins the cute kiddo pic of the week. Chris emailed this one to me from a Dunkin Donuts. Such bliss on that smiling face. I just want to kiss those cheeks! And since I'm on a "healthy eating plan" I wouldn't mind if donut residue somehow got stuck to my lips.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Word Problem

A belly button is to lint what the inner corner of my eye is to mascara and eye-liner residue.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Note to Self #463

Do not wear mint-flavored lip gloss when it is negative 9 degrees outside. They will burn.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Move the Poop

This past Saturday I was cast in a commercial for a fancy cat litter box. I didn't know much about it other than it would not be a speaking role and I needed to bring a suitcase full of wardrobe choices. And at least this time I knew I needed to have my nails done as my hands would be prominently featured.

I arrived at a home in Wilmette after driving through the treacherous snow. A crew of six people and two cats greeted me as I walked into a strangers house. Everyone was incredibly friendly. They were setting up lights and filming the cats hoping they would get a shot of one actually using the litter box. Ew. I would definitely clam-up and not be able to perform if someone was filming me going to the bathroom. In the meantime, I did a fashion show for the clients and they decided on a green shirt and jeans for my look. Hair down, makeup natural and fresh, shoes plain-jane since they didn't want me to look too hip. I mean, you can try to make me normal, but I can't help but look hip all the time.

Most of the time I was filmed demonstrating how the product worked. Then came the extra props. Tootsie Rolls. I don't have cats so I don't know what cat poop looks like, but the tootsie rolls looked pretty convincing. So for the next three hours I was told, "Okay, move the poop. Can you place it closer to the wall side of the box? Now further away from you. Good." and "Take the poop back out and scoop it in again." "Make faces as if this is gross and smells bad." I needed no convincing. Just the thought of scooping real cat poop made me borderline...what's the word...pukey. You all know how I am with bad smells.

So I spent the whole day scooping Tootsie Rolls. This is art! This is going to make an impact on someone's life! Honestly, everyone was incredibly friendly and easy to work alongside. They even sent a motorized litter box to my aunt and uncle since I don't have cats. You can check out the old video on http://www.scoopfree.com/. My hair is less feathered than the original actress and my clothes a bit more up to date. Plus I hear my face will be featured more often. They warned me of possible informercials. I think I would die. Me scooping cat poop. But hey, you have to start somewhere! The new and improved video featuring yours truly should be up and at'em ASAP. I'll be sure to post it.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Oh, One of "Those" Places

My manicure on Saturday ended with my bra uhooked and me running for the bus.

I love where I get my nails done. The polish always lasts for atleast a week and they give you a brief back massage! I enjoyed the massage and my nails looked fabulous. I moved to the dryer to make sure the polish was glued to the nails before I went off into the cold. I suddenly felt like my boobs had shrunk in the last hour because they were swimming in my bra. Entertaining momentary thoughts of a sudden miraculous weightloss, I realized that no, my bra must be unhooked. Apparently my massage was a little vigorous and my nail technician accidentally popped it. I haven't had my bra popped since junior high.

My nails were wet and there's no way I could have hooked it myself. So I threw on my coat and hoped for the best. When I rounded the corner I saw my bus coming. If there's a bus, you run for it. It's no fun waiting in the cold. So there I was running for the bus, holding down the little ladies and feeling exposed even beneath a down puffy coat. I swear my boobs hurt the next day.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Bath Time

Happy New Year! 2009 already. Wasn't Y2K just last year? I rung in the New Year with a very exciting time involving sweat pants, scrabble, Sex and the City reruns, pizza and a few friends. It was perfect!

Looks like my nephews had a wilder night than me. Looks like I could learn a few things from this crazy lads. Check out how perfectly every"thing" is hidden. Nice camera work mom.


Let's re-imagine a conversation going on in the bath:

Liam (far right): "Yeah, we're just getting things ready. We're waiting on the ladies. This is some lovely tea!"

Archer (middle): "Where is the keg? It should be here by now!"

Connor (far left): "Oh man! Hey, look. Guys! My aim is so perfect. I can fill this cup."

Liam: "Such childish games."

Archer: "Seriously dude, put that away."