Wise Words from St. Augustine

My friend Kelly sent me a devotional with this quote by St. Augustine:

Trust the past to God's mercy, the present to God's love and the future to God's providence.

My prayer is that I will trust God in all of these things. Choosing to trust, to believe and to have faith is so difficult! I KNOW God is trustworthy, believable and faithful, but believing these things requires an extra step of faith. I hope I have the courage!

Restored

You know what? I have THE greatest family and friends. I have felt so loved over the last few days. I finally have my head on straight! My parents did a GREAT job of reminding me who I am and they broke the record of negative thoughts that were running through my head. So thank you for all of the prayers, phone calls, emails and encouragement.

Becky told me to ask people for help. I ask for prayers of clarity and direction over the next couple of months. More than anything I want to do what God desires of me. But I need to remember that that doesn't mean I should sit still paralyzed with fear that I'll do the wrong thing, or worst of all, fail. Failure haunts me. I don't fail often and that must be why it seems like a huge monster. I run from it sometimes. But isn't better to have failed trying than never to have tried at all? I should cross-stitch that into a pillow. It's sure to be a famous quote. What? Someone else said that already? Scratch that idea.

The posts are sporadic these days. Work is a bit busier than usual but it should only last for a couple more weeks. Then you'll have my usual array of daily commentary from yours truly.

Image of God

My friend Asher sent out this quote today. It's from Anne Lemott. If you've never read one of her books, you're missing something.

"You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."

The truth hurts!

Nevertheless

Thanks to Kelly for sharing this with me today. I've never noticed the word Nevertheless before and realize that it's about beating the odds and being transformed. We have a choice to listen to the voice that knocks us down a lonely and hurtful path or we can listen to the voice that gives us hope and a future.

Advice to Myself by Louise Erdrich

I liked this poem. My aunt Pat sent it to Jessie the other day.

Advice to Myself

Leave the dishes.
Let the celery rot in the bottom drawer of the refrigerator
and an earthen scum harden on the kitchen floor.
Leave the black crumbs in the bottom of the toaster.
Throw the cracked bowl out and don't patch the cup.
Don't patch anything. Don't mend. Buy safety pins.
Don't even sew on a button.
Let the wind have its way, then the earth
that invades as dust and then the dead
foaming up in gray rolls underneath the couch.
Talk to them. Tell them they are welcome.
Don't keep all the pieces of the puzzles
or the doll's tiny shoes in pairs, don't worry
who uses whose toothbrush or if anything
matches, at all.
Except one word to another. Or a thought.
Pursue the authentic-decide first
what is authentic,
then go after it with all your heart.
Your heart, that place
you don't even think of cleaning out.
That closet stuffed with savage mementos.
Don't sort the paper clips from screws from saved baby teeth
or worry if we're all eating cereal for dinner
again. Don't answer the telephone, ever,
or weep over anything at all that breaks.
Pink molds will grow within those sealed cartons
in the refrigerator. Accept new forms of life
and talk to the dead
who drift in though the screened windows, who collect
patiently on the tops of food jars and books.
Recycle the mail, don't read it, don't read anything
except what destroys
the insulation between yourself and your experience
or what pulls down or what strikes at or what shatters
this ruse you call necessity.

Brennan Manning

How I wish I didn't have rehearsal on Monday so I could go and hear Brennan Manning speak! If you live in Chicago I highly recommend going to see him. His book, The Ragamuffin Gospel, is one of my all time favorites and one of the most influential books I've ever read. And I read A LOT! Plus Phil Keaggy is playing. Many well-known musicians consider him to be the best guitarist in the world. That's some high praise.

My mom and dad met Brennan Manning years ago when we lived in Atlanta. I was all of two years old. When my mom asked him what he did for a living he responded, "I'm a lover." It doesn't make any sense unless you've read his books. To me it makes perfect sense.

So go see him!