Pedestrian School

What if us pedestrians used the same tactics as cars when we make our way through the city? The following are a list of possibilities:

1) Airhorn: use this device when someone is walking too slow or to alert someone when you are rounding a corner. This can also be useful if someone cuts you off.

2) Left side of the sidewalk: This is to be used for the speedier of the pedestrians. Do not use this side if you are: walking a baby, carrying a box, walking with children, wearing high heels, over the age of 75, or have the day off.

3) Flashlight: This can be used as a more passive agressive defense compared to the airhorn. Flash it twice to alert pedestrians that they are about to get ripped into by you. This can also be used to alert pedestrian traffic that there is a large group of you trying to stick together.

4) Vocal: Don't be afraid to vocalize just as enthusiastically in public as you do in your car about how someone does not deserve to live because they can't read your mind! How dare they cut you off as you are trying to pass them in the cross walk. How dare they take the stairs slowly when the el train is pulling up. Don't they know?

5) Gestures: This would really add some great communication between people. Pedestrians in Chicago do not communicate with one another. We're all too afraid that someone will ask something of us that we aren't willing to give. This could open up that line of communication.

6) Portable windows: This can be useful when you happen upon a panhandler. Feel free to roll up this window and pretend that they aren't talking to you. This way you won't feel "uncomfortable."

7) Pedestrian School: for people who like to break the "unspoken rules" of the sidewalk.

What do you think? Add your own ideas or comments to the comments section below.