Single..and Loving It!

I would say that I am a pretty happy single person. I'm not one to usually look at married couples and sigh with disappointment that I didn't have what they have. I typically look at myself as the "I'm single and loving it!" kind of gal. Others are envious of my energy and passion for life and adventure!(she says to herself). But this weekend was a gauntlet of happily married beautiful people (all whom I love and adore!).
There were about all of 4 single people at this recent wedding celebration. Me and my three beautiful friends wore the "I'm single" sashes with pride. But I have to admit that as we all danced on the dance floor I was dreading the all too inevitable "couples only dance." Sure enough "Let's Get it On" came through the speakers and yours truly did a quick about face to the singles table (exactly, why do single people have to all be put at one table as if we're the plague!? Probably because we don't fit in perfect segments of 6's or 8's. Really no big deal but just an observation). I couldn't help but to look on with hope and frustration at the same time.
But don't you think that I walked away empty handed! Oh no. There was some action! Alligators aren't the only predators on Kiawah Island. Two single men were on the prowl. One was laid claim to by a certain someone who will remain nameless, the other was one to be avoided. Unfortunately I was unable to avoid the "goodbye hug" at the end of the night. I had just met him so I'm not exactly sure why a "goodbye hug" was necessary. There was a hug, a slight pause and then I felt his nose dig into my neck as he took a big whiff. After what seemed like WAY TOO LONG he abruptly lifted his head and said, "you smell good." I muttered something about shampoo or lotion. I'm way too secure to be carried away by a statement like that. But hey, it's good to know that you smell good thank you very much.

Some fun events of the weekend that turned into one big dramatic saga:
1)Delayed flight
2)12 ft. alligator sighting
3)hearing the alligator was run over
4)Katy's purse was stolen while she strolled along the beach
5)Katy's bathing suit top broke (I'm not even going to mention the previous fear of the bikini not fitting, but I'm sure it was only due to it being well-worn) Thank you Carrie for letting me borrow an extra strap so I could strap myself in good and tight.
6)Katy cancelling her credit and debit cards
7)Katy finding her purse at the front desk and rejoicing with tears b/c she didn't have to figure out a way to get home without a picture ID
8)More delayed flights on the way home
9)Rachel and Katy unable to find eachother as they wander around Charleston
10)Luggage being lost and not returned until over 24 hours later
11)Finally being able to brush my teeth! Priceless.

It's Gettin' Hot in Here!

It's getting hot in here and yes I wish I could take off all my clothes. Not that the office would much appreciate that one...or EVER want to see me again.
What is it with this city?! As my dad said, "In Chicago, if you don't like the weather wait 5 minutes."
Okay, I don't need to bash the city. Who cares if I am sitting in a puddle of sweat today and that tomorrow it may be snowing! I mean, it's more the fact that the air conditioning in this office is broken and I can hardly concentrate because I began to panic when I feel a bead of sweat forming on my brow. I love it too when you have dark lines on your shirt because your pudgy tummy catches your shirt in it's rolls and it stains it with sweat.
For all of you who were sweet enough to read my Europe emails, this may sound familiar. I laid in bed the other night paralyzed because any movement could cause me to break out in severe persperation. Finally my roommate agreed to turn the air conditioning on so that I could sleep and wouldn't be grouchy. I just can't sleep when it's hot. And when it's hot, that just seems to be all I can talk about. Just ask Trey, he'll tell you.
I often wonder if I would rather be severely cold or severely hot. The jury's in and I'd just rather be perfectly comfortable thank you very much.
My avid readers and fans will be happy to know that I just returned from being waxed by a new person....drumroll please....she was great, quick and painless. I've finally found my new bikini waxer! (que the trumpets). Let's just hope she doesn't get married and move away and I have to start over from square one again.
ARGH! I'm finally squeaky clean in the unmentionables area but I am a little frightened by the fact that I have to squeeze myself into a bikini that may or may not fit me. I know where the bikini is, I see it and it taunts me. I can barely bring myself to try it on. I might as well get it over with. I'm secretly hoping that I'll be so turned off by myself that I'll throw away all the movie candy that sweet Maria brought over last night for girls movie night and I will never be tempted by "bad" food again. Or maybe I'm secretly hoping that I look great in my bikini. I mean, all I really need is a good tan right? Tan fat is prettier than pale fat. That's my motto!

Personal Care: Hunting for Women

So I'm on the hunt for a new bikini waxer. I went to the same person for 11 years. Sweet Lee who knows my life story and all of my friends has moved on. Talk about a tragic moment in my life! I thought Lee would always be around. I had plans of her waxing me before my wedding, seeing pictures of my kids, etc. She was a fixture in my life. She was there when I got my drivers license for the first time. She helped me through two years of cheerleading (can't mess around with short skirts and bloomers. High kicks and toe touches made sure I saw Lee at least once a month). I saw her on my visits home from College. She even wished me the best as I headed around the world. I could almost shed a tear!
Hunting for a new bikini waxer is no easy task. You try to get recommendations from other people but that doesn't always work. Then you have to actually go through the bikini waxing experience with this new person. It's so personal and vulnerable. You don't just trust anybody! And when it doesn't work, IT DOESN'T WORK! It's enough to make a grown man cry for his momma. It's a sort of trial and error if you will. It can be very similar to going to a new hair stylist except the pain ratio is much higher. But at least if it's a bad job, you don't have to wear a hat for the next six months.
Men have no idea what we go through! Seriously! Let's take the most sensitive part of our skin, throw some hot wax on it, rub a piece of cloth over it until it sticks like cement, and for kicks...RIP IT OFF! This sounds like some kind of torture if you ask me. That's why it's imperative that you find someone you trust, who's good at what they do and makes it as quick and painless as possible.
I have to admire Bikini Waxers. That is definitely not something I would want to do for a living. I mean, they have to pretend that it isn't in anyway awkward or weird. When you go to a new waxer for the first time you pretend that "hey this is normal, this is good. I've done this before. No it doesn't bother me that I'm exposed." Then you bring up insincere conversations of "where you from? How are the kids? No I'm not interested in new lotion that can keep me from breaking out but will break the bank."
Oh Lord I hope no boys read this. Wait, I take that back. If they do read it, they will be better men for it. I applaud any guy who made it through this ranting and raving.
I'm nearly ready to hit the beach. I just have to take care of this one little thing...

10 Random Thoughts

Some random thoughts for the day:
1) My recent word of addiction has been "HYSTERICAL." I use it way too often and find myself saying it in almost any situation. For instance, "Katy, my dog just died." I respond, "that's hysterical!" Or I say it when someone says something funny but not funny enough to induce a laugh. So it's a deadpan "that's hysterical." Or how about when I'm just so tired and don't know how to respond. For example, "Katy, Merve just called and said he didn't get an email." I respond, "That's hysterical." I really must get a new word.

2)I just took a quiz on "which Friend are you?" I'm Phoebe. Hey, I like her. She's "hysterical."

3)I work in an office of 16 woman and some genius decided that we needed only 1 bathroom. For some reason my timing has been off lately. Everytime I get up and turn the corner, the door to the bathroom closes. There's a nice one down the hall, but let's face it, I'm lazy.

4)I had an "hysterical" thought last night. I was in a cab on the way home from my aunt's house (thanks to the many tickets provoking me to park my car in her garage. It's in hiding) and had the thought, "I need to run another marathon." Now what would incite me to think that? Maybe the fact that a diet of chocolate and carbs isn't doing it for me. Running is my only hope. At least I can do a half.

5)Why do I set my alarm for 6:15 a.m. knowing that each morning I'll change it to 7 a.m. when the alarm goes off? Do I feel more athletic or in shape just because I "think" about exercising? It's the thought that counts, right?

6)I've lost all discipline. I used to be the queen of discipline. People hated me because I was so disciplined. I don't even floss daily anymore. Maybe I should start there...with the little things.

7)I just looked through People's 50 Most Beautiful People and was disappointed not to find myself in the issue. And to make things worse, my star crush, Aaron Eckhardt wasn't in there. What has this world come to????????

8)I'm having a good hair day. It's the first in months. Note to self, the hair growing out process is not a smooth and easy transition unless you're a celebrity with a personal stylist.

9)I hate when you take a pice of gum out of it's package and the white wraps come out with the silver lining. Now all my gum will fall out into my purse and it will be squished.

10)I just read that Drew Barrymore is staring in the Movie version of "The Confederacy of Dunces." I wanted to be in that movie! Also, she lost 30 lbs. running. Why can't I be disicplined like her?