Family Reunion

It's time for the Lindsay Family Reunion! I'm headed to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina tomorrow for a week long reunion on the beach. No one in my family is from South Carolina but who wants to spend a week in Springfield, Illinois? Not I.

While family reunions do not lend themselves to great match making (spare me the jokes John), I can pretend I'm Phoebe Cates! Bridget Fonda is too out there and red haired girl is pinching pennies between her cheeks. I also don't want to be referenced as a synonym to the word "fat."




















Let's get one thing straight. Pudge is NOT pudgy whatsoever. Not a trace of cellulite or muffin top.

Miss me while I'm gone! I'll try to update while I'm away. Okay, if I'm going to be honest, I probably won't update because I'll be too busy sunning myself on the beach.

Animal Crackers

Here is a picture of a new born Rhino and her momma. She is just too cute!
















"Mommy, I want the puppy! "Honey, that's not a puppy." "I DON'T CARE!"

Also in the news...an Alligator with scales that spell out "God" was found by a man in Wisconsin.













Maybe my moles spell "God"

Acne Away!

I finally went to see the dermatologist today. My adult acne has almost arrived at the point of no return and that's just not acceptable. What happened to my youthful glowing skin? I turned 30.

I wrote on the clipboard documents that I came in for "adult acne" and for a "mole check." I have so many moles on my back that it looks like a constellation. There's probably some long desired key that could crack the toughest of secret codes just sitting on my back. Connect the dots...la la la. My moles are mainly on my back and a couple on my stomach. I figured I'd just lift the shirt and she'd take a gander. Nothing ever works that way for me.

The nurse stepped out just after asking me to put on a gown. "Take everything off but you can leave on your underwear." My first thought was, "Thank goodness I have on my cute underwear today!" followed by, "Why would they have me do that? I can easily lift up my shirt."

The doctor came in and I have acne that's probably inspired by hormones. No joke. Give me a doctors degree because I diagnosed that one A LONG TIME AGO!

Then came mole check time. They had my lay down on the examination table. She basically stripped that gown off and took that instrument they use to look into your ears to examine each. and. every. mole. Then came the "flip over." I pretended I was just sunning myself on the beach and that it's no big deal to have someone examine every nook and cranny. But again, I did have on my cute panties. That at least left me some dignity.



















Go get yourself a pair! On sale now at Nordstrom.

Good news, it's official: I have no moles on my butt. Bad news, I have to have three moles removed when I get home. Now that's going to really confuse someone who may try to crack the code.

If I Die...Mourn Me

'What" will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

So Good You'll Sweat

Last night was our performance of "The Resignation" in N.U.F.A.N's Seven Plays in Seven Days. We didn't necessarily have our complete seven days to put up the show. We had all of 3 days. We met twice and were on our way to a dynamite play. The performance went well. Every seat was filled and even a few people sat in the aisles. Becky and Greg had about 1,000 more lines than I did and I know that they got caught up a few times. But we had fun and most importantly, I SHINED as the waitress. I know that some agent out there was just nodding and mumbling to themself "that waitress was just fabulous. Her seven lines really stole the show...that part where she says 'I love you' three times, you could totally tell the difference in each utterance. Sign that girl up!" Oh, and I looked the part in a black pencil skirt and white button down.

The atmosphere proved to be the most interesting part of the night for me. Take the hottest day of the year in Chicago and add an un-airconditioned theater with a side of long sleeved costumes and you have yourself one sweaty mess. I felt like I was at camp dreaming about standing in the walk in freezer just to cool off. I could have served french fries to everyone courtesy of the oil build up on my face. We sat in the dark green room trying not to move too much for fear of pit stains. By the end, no one really cared. Even the audience was sweating.

Theater brings together all different kinds of people. Waiting for our play to go up allowed for prime people watching opportunities. Some people warmed up by sitting still with their eyes closed and meditating. Others practiced some form of Tai Chi to remain focused. A few drank oversized Old Styles while wearing cardboard costumes representing the World Trade Center. That's another thing, the costumes were interesting as well. We only had to wear suits or nice clothes in our play. One play had a man wearing an oversized heating blanket as a coat. All he had underneath was a shiny pair of white spandex pants leaving nothing to the imagination. Becky leaned over and said, "He's wearing boxers under those. You can tell because everything is crinkly." He turned his back to us and you could tell there were NO boxers. She followed up with, "...or maybe it's just crinkly. Ewwww."

Overall it was a fun experience and I hope to do more of it soon!

Cleavage

Friend: "Toe cleavage is all the new rage."

Me: "Now that's some cleavage I can deliver."

The Resignation

Last week I signed up for an audition that took place Monday night. I didn't know what it was about or what it was for honestly, but I wanted to test out my new monlogue. I hadn't auditioned with a monlogue in a while. Most of my auditions recently have been purely improvised or cold readings of sketches. I felt pretty confident with my monologue though I knew it still needed some work. At least I had it memorized. That's a plus!

I arrived early for the audition. I can't help myself. I'm always early to everything. I've really tried to work on being late so I won't have to wait for everyone, but it's not working too well. Since I was early, I was the first person to sign in. When you're the first person to sign in, you go first. I wasn't really nervous because I saw this more as an opportunity to work on my auditioning skills and my monologue more than anything. I walked down a dark hallway listening to the echo of my heels on a wooden floor. The hall opened up to a small theater with a few rows of chairs and a black stage. I peeked my head around the corner and they asked me to come in. They weren't quite ready so I made some lame comment about how bare the stage looked compared to the last show I had seen. Witty banter ensued between me and the directors sitting in the audience section. I gave my monologue and felt okay about it. I need to work on a few transitions but for the most part it wasn't bad. I was just glad that it was OVER!

I knew that if I were cast I would have received an email pretty quickly after the audition considering the show is this coming Monday. By Tuesday night I hadn't heard anything and counted the audition experience as another step in the right direction. Well yesterday I received a call! I had been cast in "The Resignation" by Daniel Scurek (an original work) and should hear from someone soon. Me? Cast? I can't believe it! My first audition and BAM! Maybe I dazzled them with my smile and cute sweater set after all!

By the time I arrived home from work I had received the script by email. While waiting for it to download I wondered what amazing part I would get too play! Would it be a large cast? A small cast? Would I get to slap someone or kiss someone? What did this manuscript hold for me and my future?!!!! Delightedly I scrolled down to the second page where it stated the cast: So and So as William, So and So as Mary, and finally, Katy Orender as......the Waitress! THE WHAT? The Waitress. For the love! I was a little crestfallen until I read the description: "Pretty but awkward, 22 years of age." I'm pretty and youthful! And I LOVE playing awkward! I guess my 30 years did NOT show. Maybe I could play a teenager in a show about high schoolers who live in Beverly Hills. Andrea Zuckerman did it, why can't I?!

Hair Removal Update

1. I shaved today and my legs are silky smooth. My armpits also emulate something...something that's hair-free.

2. Fangorn is slowly but surely disappearing. Laser Hair Removal is a gift from God. Hello Myrtle Beach! I'm ready for you!

3. My eyebrows no longer resemble those belonging to Josh Hartnett.















Josh, I know a woman who does wonders with the tweezers!

4. I still have the hair on my head despite repeated abuse with a straightner.

Midnight Snack

"Katy, don't you want anything to drink?"

"No, I'm trying not to drink during the week because I want to lose some weight."

"Oh, that's great. I wish I were more like that."

"Well, it just takes discipline," she says with a huge slice of deep dish cheese pizza near her lips.

And that's what we call regret at 4:00 a.m. the next morning.

Page Turners

One of my roommates declares the fact that she "loves to read." It may take her a year to get through a book but I have no doubt that she "loves to read." I, on the otherhand, LOOOOOVE to read and can polish off a few books a month. Sometimes I even look forward to riding the el so I can find out what happens next in my book. The el can mean 25 minutes of uninterrupted reading.

Here are some of my favorite books or just books I've read recently (no special order):

1. The Wonder Spot by Meredith Bank
2. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
3. Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
4. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
5. Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers
6. Mark of the Lion by Francine Rivers
7. The Queen's Fool by Phillipa Gregory
8. Experience the Wonders of God Through Prayer by E.M. Bounds
9. Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
10. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
11. Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man by Fannie Flagg
12. Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel
13. The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
14. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
15. Sense & Sensability by Jane Austen
16. Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen
17. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
18. The Time Travelers Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
19. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
20. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
21. I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith
22. Wicked by Gregory Maguire
23. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
24. The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning
25. The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen
26. Dress Your Family in Courduroy and Denim by David Sedaris
27. The Robe by Lloyd C. Douglas
28. Exodus by Leon Uris
29. Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard
30. Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books by Azar Nafisi

These books are the first ones that come to mind. I'm sure I'll go home tonight and think, "Ugh! I should have added that one!" What are some of your favorite reads? Any suggestions?

Reunited...and it feeeeels so goooood...

Last night we, Rebirth, had our first show together since we graduated from Second City at the end of March. Before we went on I realized that I had not improvised since January. Yikes! That's a great thought to have before you go on stage and perform a 25 minute improv set. The small theater was packed with other performers, many with whom I've performed before. It was a little nerve wracking. I mean, my pride was on the line. And let's face it, I've got some pride, and I don't like it to be crushed.

Considering we didn't even rehearse we had a GREAT show! It was fun to be back out there again creating characters and stories out of nothing. It's an adrenaline pumping good time. After a rough first scene (which I knew would happen), we had a killer show. My favorite scene was when I played a suicidal teenager who suddenly had hope after a conversation with James. We were both goth-like students. My character gave her dad a framed picture of a dead mouse for Father's Day and a note that said, "Hey dad, this symbolizes our relationship." It's fun playing darker characters. I kind of grossed myself out with that part of the story, but it's what was true for the character. Us girls also played myspace obsessed cheerleaders. That probably would hit a little closer to home than the goth girl. All in all, it was a great show and my pride wasn't crushed, only further inflated. Okay, I'm going to brag for a second so bear with me. Umm, a girl walked up to me after the show and said, "You were so funny that I nearly peed in my pants. Seriously, so funny!" Now who doesn't love a comment like that? I'll take those any day!

I want to say a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Ashley (technically it was yesterday). We went out and celebrated her birth last night. So glad she's alive and can be my friend!

The Devil Wears Prada

This movie caused me to sin. It did nothing to help my addiction to shoes, purses, accessories, clothing, shoes, jewelry and shoes. I am a clothes whore and I found myself lusting after everything Anne Hathaway wore in the movie. Not only that, but I found myself jealous that she got to wear those clothes! I sinned twice! "But Katy!" you say, "there were love interests in the movie! Didn't you notice?" Sure they were in the movie but who wants to look at someones five o'clock shadow over the Chanel couture? And Simon Baker, you're so cute, but your fuzzy caterpillar eyebrows made me squirm, not swoon.

If this movie doesn't make you want to shop and buy really expensive clothes that you can't afford, then I don't know if you are truly living.

UPDATE: Apparently you can buy their wardrobe off of ebay. And it's a good cause!

Montana

What's not to like about Montana? It's a practically perfect place. There are mountains, ski slopes, clear rivers, fly-fishing, hiking, biking and the sun doesn't set until 10pm...I could go on and on! Just like last year, my heart remains in Montana.

We continued our family tradition of fly-fishing over the July 4th weekend in Missoula. This year Patrick caught the largest fish, a 22 inch brown trout on the Blackfoot River. I caught a 20 inch Cut Throat on the Bitter Root but couldn't quite drag him all the way into the boat. It's such an exciting feeling. My dad fished in the front of the boat, WHICH WILL CHANGE NEXT YEAR! He kept catching all the fish and left me to stare at a floating handmade fly. But I did catch some rays, and let's be honest, that's all I really care about. Next time you see me please notice my perfectly tanned hands and my tanned feet that have various stripes due to wearing Chaco's.

This year I brought a little femininity to fishing. I found a really cute skirt that was made for women to wear while fishing. It's much better than those ugly shorts that are made for men and that women who have hips have no hope of wearing. I think it really helped me catch those fish and definitely helped with catching rays.

The rest of my family left to drive up to Glacier National Park for hiking and camping. I unfortunately had to come back to work. I asked my family to kidnap me. I was serious. Apparently they didn't see the pleading in my eyes.

Oh, and congratulations to my good friends, Chris and Marissa, on their wedding this past Monday!