Therapy Session

I've written about a couple of my dreams in the past but I usually try to avoid it. But sometimes dreams are more honest and telling about your life and your feelings than you could ever be to yourself. Apparently I try to be anything but honest with myself and try to avoid negative feelings at all costs. Those feelings then build up and the flood gates come crashing down and you find yourself curled up on the couch trying to find a dry sleeve to wipe your tear stained face on while watching a commercial that involves puppies and little kids.

I took an aptitude test when I was a sophomore in college. After eight hours of grueling tests I was told that a) they couldn't figure me out; b) I will probably be in school for the rest of my life; and c) whatever I do I should work for myself. I'm realizing that all three of these things are true.

A) I can't figure myself out either! I have too many passions and my desire for adventure contradicts my desire to have a family.

B) I love learning and school is the best place to learn (outside of life experience). I think the reason I want to be an actress is so that I can learn and do everything. I may be master of none and mediocre of all but at least I'd get to do it all!

C) The realization that I should work for myself has never been truer than NOW! No details necessary but I would love the freedom to be able to GO! Just GO anywhere at anytime, be with anyone who needs my help or wants a companion to join them on a camping trip in Guatemala.

A couple of nights ago I had a dream that I was visiting Heather Armstrong of Dooce.com. We were hanging out with her daughter, Leta, just talking about life. I remember I finally built up the nerve to ask her how someone makes a living as a blogger. This one question has two points of significance. The first is that I would love the freedom that blogging brings. I could do it from anywhere at anytime. Awesome! Secondly, the question was barely audible when it came out of my mouth and no one heard. That's significant because I have a history of thinking that people are not interested in the things I have to say sometimes. I'll share an example: 10 people sit in a circle and catch up on the highs and lows of their year. We go in a circle and people are crying and laughing and really getting to share their struggles. I'm the last one to share and just when I begin speaking of the difficulties of the past year, a baby starts crying and everyone turns their focus to the baby and we never finish the sharing. That's just one of a billion out there. Becky says it's unbelievable how many times she's witnessed this happen to me (so it's not just me having a complex!)...and she's always quick to protect me. I also think that it shows I might be a little fearful to go after the things I really want.

I am fascinated by dreams and how they reveal the truth of life. I am also fascinated by the thought of making a living as a blogger! How does one do it?!!

Oh Wise One!

Who doesn't love learning more about oneself?

Your results:
You are Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan Kenobi 74% Yoda 72% Padme 70% Princess Leia 68% R2-D2 66% Qui-Gon Jinn 65% An Ewok 61% Luke Skywalker 60% Han Solo 54% Jar Jar Binks 53%

You are civilized, calm, and have a good sense of humor, even when those around you don't. You can hold your own in a fight, but prefer it when things don't get too exciting.

(This list displays the top 10 results out of a possible 21 characters)


Click here to take the "Which Star Wars character am I?" quiz...

Thanks Kellsey for the idea! I guess you and I are one in the same! I like Obe-Wan Kenobi. He's good people. Praise the Lord Jar Jar Binks is the bottom of the barrell for me. "Meso thinks......blah blah blah." And let me just say that Luke Skywalker is a WHINER!!! Just like his dad as a young man. Oh and they also fail to mention that I have great power over people. With a wave of my hand I can have anything I want.

The Cubs

The only winning thing the Cubs have going for them these days is this guy right here:





















'Sup y'all! Sportin' the Cubbie Blue.

Check out those thighs. Those are power thighs, as in, future power pitcher thighs. If he were drafted now, I'd predict the Cubs could be World Series Champs by 2007.

You see mostly Connor's mom and dad in the face. But what you might have missed is that he also resembles his aunt, Katy (ie. ME). That little crease in the left thigh says it all. Watch out that crumbs don't get stuck in that flap of skin because that can lead to a bacterial disease.

Connor and I will be reunited this weekend over ice cream sandwiches and brats. And yes, we will eat them in that order.

Shoe Fix

Due to my downtrodden state yesterday, I decided to self-medicate. Self-medication = shoe shopping. I went to the mother of all shoe stores. No it wasn't DSW, Target or Lori's "the Sole of Chicago." I'm talking about the Nordstrom shoe department. When you work blocks away and you need a little pick me up, Nordstrom never disappoints. I made a purchase.



















Picture these shoes but in a mustard yellow. They are so ugly that they're cute. Picture them with a nice pair of dark jeans, capri pants or a white skirt. Fabuloso! They remind me of the shoes (aka. house slippers) Auntie wore back when I was growing up.

So did they make me happy? Oh, they sure did for at least a good 18 hours. I only had to apply one bandaid at my heel to stop the shoe from slicing my achilles. But they are rather comfortable and can be worn walking long distances.

Stuck

I've been a bit down this week and I can figure out if it's because I'm paying my monthly dues or if it's because I really am unsatisfied with life at the moment. Both ingredients probably factor into the whole.

While talking with Becky last night I came up with an analogy of how I am feeling. I feel like I'm running behind or I'm late for something big. I am stuck at a stop light while all the other cars seem to be able to get where they are going. I am unsure of where I'm headed and the map in my hand is unreadable and doesn't make sense.

I know where I want to be but I don't know how to get there and the path I'm taking just isn't getting me there as soon as I'd like. Waiting is the hardest part of life at the moment. I'm restless to make something happen but it's not for me to decide. How exactly does "active faith" work?

I don't like being late and waiting makes me anxious. It's the "character building" phase of life. This character better be worth it!

Conan O'Brien LIVE!

The Lord hath laid His hands upon me and blessed me! Last Friday I skipped work so I could stand under the el in 40 degree weather and spitting rain for five and a half hours. Doesn't that sound like a blessing? No? Well, maybe it will once I tell you that I stood there for five and a half hours in my winter garb huddled next to thousands of strangers so I could see CONAN O'BRIEN!

Jason's original date couldn't make it so I begged and pleaded "Take me! Take me!" We met at 10:00 am at State and Lake to wait in line to see Conan. We were one of the first 50 or enthusiastic fans to brave the inclement weather. Jason and I now know everything about each other and I know a little too much about the strangers that surrounded us. I was in people watching paradise! You know what's annoying? Twenty or so people who think they are really funny and think that everyone should get to experience the joy of their humor. One such commedian was kicked out of line right before my very eyes. I actually felt sorry for him.

Three hours into the stand-off I was losing hope. My hands were white with numbness, my legs ached from standing in one spot and I couldn't feel my feet. Just when I thought I couldn't take much more of it, I hear the crowd begin to scream. Then I see a thin long legged redhead running across the street with cameras following him. He jumps up right infront of us and yells to the crowd, "Thank you for being the best fans in the world! Thank you for waiting in this horrible weather! We have free pizza for all of you!" Next thing I know, Uno's is handing out HOT deep dish pizza to everyone. Conan rushes down the line to shake everyone's hand. My frozen hand stuck in the air waited for his touch. He shook everyone's hand around me (probably wanted to avoid the dead looking hand) and then must have seen my pleading face. He looked me in the eye and shook my hand. I wish I could have felt it.

I suddenly had rejuvenated enthusiasm that helped me wait it out the next two and a half hours. We really looked like cattle in a corral. People were shoving each other trying to get further up in the line. People become nasty in a crowd. Just when they began hurding us into the theater, I grabbed Jason's hand and prepared myself for battle. I have never been hit or shoved so many times...by WOMEN! They were the worst. At one point Jason and I looked at a girl and both said, "Just CHILL!"

We found seats right by the band and had a perfect view of Conan. It was such a great experience and worth every freezing second. Wouldn't you know it! My camera died just before Conan gave us free pizza. So you'll just have to believe me! Thank you Jason!



















Sam actually got to meet Conan. I was bitter for a second.

Season Finale Review: Grey's Anatomy

Last night was a blatant abuse of my emotions. They tried every possible avenue to make me cry...and it worked! Let's recount the story lines that touched my soul and made me cry (in chronological order):

1. The aftermath of Dr. Burke being shot. He's HOT and it's just a shame that someone that hot had to be shot. His perfect shoulder is now ruined. But I'm sure it will make for a sexy scar.

2. Izzie. She scared me and I cried out of fear for my life and the lives of all the interns. Someone put her in an institution so we can all be safe.

3. The niece who missed her prom because her cancer came back and she's going to die. How could they be so ruthless? There's only one other thing that is more ruthless than a teenage girl dying of cancer:

4. A dog dying of Cancer. I cried the hardest when they put Doc to sleep. This probably ranked a level 8 on my scale of hysterical crying. I would have rather watched the whole cast of Grey's Anatomy die than have to re-watch the death of Doc. Question: how could they so easily go to a prom after such a tragic ending to a loved one?

5. Denny's heart working. I like Denny. It's too bad that he fell in love with a psycho doctor who tried to kill him. I don't care how pretty she is or the size of her boobs.

6. George and Callie kissing. Callie resembled a line backer. George resembled a little boy who used gel on his hair for the first time. I cried because I thought Callie was going to crush George.

7. Christine. I like you so much. Why did you become heartless while watching Burke struggle? Burke, I'm better than she is and I would have been by your side the whole time! I'd go fishing with you!

8. Denny dying. I called this one early and therefore began crying 7.2 minutes before it happened. And Izzie...your dress. Ick.

9. Meredith and Derek. I don't care for you Meredith. But, I definitely don't think that McDreamy has any right to love you. I didn't cry for either one of you. In fact, you pained me. I cried because Meredith's pretty dress swallowed her alive. I think she is emaciating before our very eyes.

10. Alex. Thank you for being the one sane person on the show last night. Remember when you were Massimo? Wasn't that fun? You had a terrible fake accent, you got to wrestle on the ground with Matthew McConaughey and you were rejected by Jennifer Lopez? I love that movie.

11. Finally. Finn. You have no idea how much Meredith DOES NOT deserve you.

No Privacy

The downside of working in a cube: everyone can hear when you have to announce on the phone that you're about to start your period.

The upside of working in a cube: everyone knows to STAY OFF YOUR BACK!

Free Comic Book Day

Visit Komikazee.com to read my second article about Comic Books. I attended my first ever Free Comic Book Day!

Huge Praise

Thank you for your many prayers. It looks like Ella is fighting this disease! She is still "critical" but is improving greatly. This is her parents blog that will fill you in on the details over the past few days. It truly is a miracle! Again, thank you!

Try This David Blaine

So we all know David Blaine, the stunt performer. He recently pulled his latest stunt, Drowned Alive. Yes he survived a week in a snow globe filled with water and lived! But he came away with some nasty rashes and liver failure. Most frat boys would call that a weekend. I think he's a glutton for pain.

Speaking of pain and craizay people...I have some thoughts for David Blaine and what he should try next:

1) Walk around Chicago in a pair of 3 inch heels for 3 hours straight in a pencil skirt during 80% humidity.

2) Chaperone an 8th grade lock-in at Crystals Pizza.

3) Have someone repeatedly tell him he looks like a softball player.

4) Wax everything on his body. Wait...looks like he already has it all waxed.

5) Eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's while watching an episode of LOST all the while forgetting that he's lactose intolerant.

6) Experience first day period cramps and still have to go to work or take care of five kids who want to go to Toys R'Us so they can spend their allowance.

7) Try on bathing suits under flourescent lights after six months of dead winter while a woman keeps popping in to ask if everything is okay and comment on how the suit looks on his body. And NO FAKE TANS ALLOWED!

8) Give birth.

I think these should leave him with a good challenge.

Please Pray

Please pray for my friends, Joe and Andrea, who just had a baby girl yesterday afternoon. The pregnancy and delivery were healthy, but little Ella started having problems breathing soon after she was born. Ella is now in NICU and having seizures. They are not sure what is wrong. Please pray for God to reveal what is happening, that it is easily treatable and that Joe and Andrea will have a peace beyond understanding.

Which Superhero are You?

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 75% Supergirl 73% Superman 70% Wonder Woman 63% Robin 53% The Flash 50% Green Lantern 45% Iron Man 40% Catwoman 25% Hulk 20% Batman 5%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Duck Headed Canes

So this morning I walked into a bar. . .and it hurt. Get it? Hahahahahaha. Aw, man! Why didn't I wear my waterproof mascara? But seriously, I did walk into a bar and it did hurt. As I was about to walk through the gauntlet to enter the el I must have been thinking about some hilarious sketch I was going to create about a guy who is infatuated with canes that have duck heads.





















"Slap me some skin!"

Next thing I know I'm trying to go through the turnstile and it hits me right at the hip bones. I almost sommersalted over the thing. I quickly look up and look around me while making noises that are unintelligible but imply "Oh my gosh I'm such an idiot. Can you believe I tried to walk through here without paying first? And would you look at that! I have the card right here in my hand! I also just ordered the greatest pair of shoes off the Banana Republic website. Score!"

I have on the same pink sweater that I wore the day I forgot my wallet. It must be the sweater. BURN IT!

Conan O'Brien

My friends make fun of me because I can't pronounce "Conan" correctly. I say it like "Conan the Barbarian" instead of "Co-nen". Wait, maybe I've said that wrong my whole life too. That would be the case.



















It's almost like he's Jabba the Hutt after using the "Bowflex" and drinking protein shakes.

They also make fun of me because I say "booze-um" instead of "bosom." Maybe it's because I'm a Texan.

Did you know that Conan, aka. Conaane, is hosting his show from the great city of Chicago this week? That's all we've heard about for the past month or so. My friend, Jason, was lucky enough to win two tickets in a contest. Unfortunately, I was not asked to attend with him. It's probably better that way. I can't even pronounce the hosts' name correctly. But here's a great interview with Conan where he talks about Chicago, Second City and the influence improv has on his work.

I'm 30 years old. When Conan was 30, he just got the "Late Night" gig. That's enough to make me want to stick my head in an oven. Not really. No need to intervene and put me on prozac.

Guess who jumped in a cab Friday night only to be immediately pulled over by a Police Paddy Wagon? Yours truly! The police officer made me and Jess wait in the taxi while he talked with the driver outside of the car. With wide eyes, Jess and I kept looking around wondering why the police pulled the cab over. And the other party of me wondered why my friends who were sitting on the stoop of a house didn't see us get pulled over and wonder what was going on. That hurts. But alas we were safe and the driver only got a parking ticket for "not pulling completely over to the curb when picking up a passenger." Who knew that existed? Good thing he didn't pull completely over because he would have hit us. Poor guy just trying to take care of his two cute kids. Jess and I wrote a letter in protest of the ticket on the drivers behalf. Changing the world one letter at a time.

Another Take

You all remember Robert, the one who was "sooooooo bored" and still dissed me and Jess? Well, we have definitely bonded since then. I'll stop and say hi as he takes in some fresh air on the stoop (all two steps of it). He shared stories about how he loves to make jumbalaya and how he wrote a book on his horrific and tragic Hurricane Katrina experience. I really felt like we were building a friendship.

Yesterday was nothing out of the ordinary. He was on the "stoop" and said hello to me and Jess. Jessie went to help a friend unload some things from her car. That left Robert and I a few moments alone. Again, it was nothing out of the ordinary. Robert got a little nervous and said, "I'd like to pay you a compliment." I got all excited and would welcome anyone paying me a compliment! He said, "Well, I won't tell you it now. (long pause with nervous laughter) I just chickened out!" "Robert! I don't bite!" He, a married man, then put it out there, "Well, I just wanted to tell you that you're GORGEOUS. I mean....you are....FINE!" (nervous laughter from all parties involved) Then with nervous rambling and scarcely a breath taken I say, "Gee, thanks Robert. Wow, that's so nice of you. I mean, I really needed to hear that because, you know, some random guy told me yesterday that I looked like a SOFTBALL player! I mean, can you believe that? Pshh! I know, it's all "innocent" and everything ("innocent" being said with physical quotation gesture). So thanks." (long awkward pause) "Alrighty then, I'm going to go see if I can help Jess."

I just can't take a compliment; especially one that's so emphatic and from a married man! But hey, it's MUCH better than "softball player!"

How NOT to Hit on a Girl

Last night Jessie and I decided we would really try to get active, get social and get involved with our church. I've been there for two and a half years and haven't really been connected since the first 3 months (when I really wanted to meet new people). They planned a bowling social for last night and we thought that would be harmless and fun. Usually I try to avoid these things because of their "meet market" tendencies * GAG * (open mouth, insert index finger and produce gagging noises). So after talking ourselves out of staying home to watch Everwood we drove to the bowling alley.

We were on time, of course. Thankfully there were others there who cared about timeliness. Five minutes later we were bowling on lane 5. Paige, Rob and Luke joined me and Jessie as we attempted a 300. We were having fun chatting and asking questions like, "Sooooo....how long have you lived in Chicago? Oh, you're a native? I didn't know those existed anymore. Hee hee." I sucked it up and became "Outgoing Katy." She's exhausting. I think Luke was trying to be social and decided to ask me, "Did you play sports growing up?" "Yeah. Why?" "Did you play softball?" "No, why?" "Oh, you look like a softball player." "Excuse me?" "You look like a softball player." "WHAT. THE. HELL?!!!!" You could just see that I was about to leap over those plastic seats and punch him in the face (which didn't help the "softball" comment). "NO! I am not a lesbi.. I mean, NO! Hell NO! WHA?" Notice how I filtered my comments. I mean, I was with people I didn't know. He of course saw that he had obviously made a mistake and tried to cover it up by saying, "I mean, you look like you have quite an arm, like you could, like, throw the ball really far."

And there in that moment my life changed forever. No more lifting weights for me. Yes, I am strong. Could I probably throw a ball far? Yes. Was I throwing a 10 lbs. bowling ball at dizzying speeds toward the pins? Yes. So now I'm going to live off of broccoli and cauliflower. And I'm only going to eat that at breakfast. Shelby and I will have to change our training regiment to speed walking for 8 hours a day. And I am NEVER, and I repeat, NEVER, going to leave the house without lipstick.



















Okay, so she's not a lesbian. But she could still hurt someone.















There's just no explaining her.