This morning started out beautifully. I was alive and fully awake when my alarm chimed. I journaled my deep thoughts and enjoyed a delicious bowl of Cinnamon Life cereal. Walking out the door wearing my spring pink the sun greeted my face. I was able to snag a seat on the el and had just enough time to stroll to White Hen to grab a morning coffee and a snack for later.
Is this too good to be true? No, it was true! But then it became all TOO true. You know what I mean? Do you really?
I created my culinary treat of decaf coffee with a little bit of cream and a couple of Splendas. With my coffee mixed to perfection I perused the latest flavors of Zone Bars. They were the exact same flavors they have been for the past year. I made my selection and joined a line of others waiting to pay and get on with their bread winning and life changing careers. I began to grow a little impatient as I waited and waited for a whole two people who chatted it up at the register. Ugh, how DARE they do that to me! I had many busy and important things to do when I got to the office. Myspace was waiting! When they finally exited the door I sashayed my way to the counter. Then an unknown fear suddenly grew. I couldn't quite place it. No matter. After the beep of each item being rung up I began to search for my wallet. Unlike those peope in front of me I am efficient. I've always prided myself on my efficiency. I don't like to have people waiting for me or to have to be "put out" because of me. Therefore, I've perfected time saving techniques! As I opened my bag the origin of my fear finally revealed itself. I LEFT MY WALLET AT HOME! Saying, "Uh nuh" (out loud) sweat beads began to form on my upper lip and my brow. I frantically went through possible stashes of money I had hidden in pockets. With pleading eyes I said, "I seem to have left my wallet at home. But I do have my checkbook." With a stare that seemed to convey to me, "YOU'RE RETARTED!" she said they cannot take checks. "Oh, I see. Of course." (embarassed mumbling) "I'm so sorry. Well, I guess I'll just go. Sorry, I already made the coffee. Sorreeeeeeeeeeee (to let her again that I know the depth of my stupidity)." Walking away with a line of people in suits and sneakers staring at me I hear "Ma'am." I turn around and she just says, "take the coffee because now it's just GARBAGE!" I meekly walk over with my tail between my legs, grab the coffee and just short of running turn and make my way out of the store.
Now I'm sitting here wondering how I'm supposed to take my friend, Jolene, out for her birthday lunch today.
And you do you know why I don't have my wallet this morning? Yes it IS partially because I'm an IDIOT! But it also has to do with the fact that I went to the dreaded store last night. I actually had a great experience there and seemed to have "enjoyed" myself while shopping for foods. BUT once again, the grocery store reveals itself as the foundation for my MISERY and inadequacy in life!
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3 comments:
Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. ;-)
Just think of how many people's days you made brighter by giving them a really good laugh!! I heard you like it when people laugh at you...anyway, now you can use it! ;)
All I know is that if I saw someone as sweet as you in your spring pink a little short on cash, wether I knew you or not, I would have spotted you...or just given you the money. I mean, hasn't that all happened to you?! Or, some really sweet, hot guy totally could have used it to step in like the night and shinning armor you've always dreamed of! Thanks for the story!
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