I Just Want to Be Free!

Erin called yesterday and said she had a hilarious dream about me. She dreamed that she was visiting Chicago with a few of her friends and knocked on my door. When I opened it, I was naked. She, all embarrassed, said, "Katy, put on some clothes!" I responded with, "But Erin, this is who I am now. I've chosen not to wear clothes." She thought I was kidding. But no, I went out in public and met her friends (as she slowly died inside). She said no one looked twice at me as I walked down the street. She was the only one who thought it was weird. Then she went to tell my mom about me and perhaps have an intervention. When mom answered the door, she was naked. NICE!

My one question to my sister was, "How did I look? Hot?"

I found these on PostSecret and thought they were appropriate. (Don't read too far down on the website this week because they posted a really nasty picture that's apparently making people sick. I did not look at it because I would probably never get it out of my head. Beckles, I know you're tempted.)

What I'm Doing This Weekend

A couple of weeks ago I received an email from a film student at a college here in Chicago. She said she ran across my headshot and was interested in me playing the lead in one of her student films. She said the lead is lonely, sad, in a dead-end marriage, and that the part required "brief nudity done tastefully." How do I put this? "NO!" I actually said, "Thank you so much for contacting me but I don't feel comfortable with nudity. Good luck with your project." We all know I'm totally fine with nudity - but not on film or to be shown to people! Crisis avoided.

A week goes by and I get another email saying that she changed the script and nudity is no longer required. Well, I'm not doing anything else so I said okay. We'll be filming all weekend out in the suburbs. Auntie is kind enough to let me stay with her this weekend since she lives 15 minutes from where we're shooting. Thanks Auntie!

I decided to do it because there are two parts in the script that will make me go way outside of my comfort zone and I can experiment in a safe environment where the stakes aren't high and I can play with it. The first is a scene by myself in a bathroom where I basically go nuts and beat myself up. Did I mention that she wants this film to be in the vein of "Dancer in the Dark"? That's probably the saddest and most depressing movie I have ever seen. Tracy, remember my swollen face and unstoppable sobbing? It was brilliant, but so utterly tragic that I can never watch it again. Bjork should have one the Oscar by the way.

The second is a scene where I have to kiss the other lead. It's all my initiative and I end up getting massively rejected. Who enjoys that? Not me. So when I met the director I realized she was really young - fresh out of high school. Immediately I asked the age of the other lead. She said he was 26. WHEW! Saved by the bell on that one. I mean, what if he was her age and it would basically be kissing someone the same age as my little brother and his friends. Yikes!

Well, it turns out that he couldn't do it and so she had to get someone else. I show up to the set yesterday and meet the guy - who is very nice and easy to talk to. They met on their way to college. GULP! I don't even want to know his official age but I can almost guarantee that it has a "teen" on the end of it. Oh dear Lord! Seriously, am I breaking any laws here? I'm just not going to think about it. I am a professional! I can handle this professionally! I mean, old guys kiss 22 year olds all the time in movies. Think Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta Jones. Yeah, okay. Cringer.

MASH

So yesterday a few of us bored co-workers played MASH at an inappropriate time during the day. But hey, whatever. We played celebrity MASH in which we picked three good ones and one not so good one. I can't remember my not-so-good celebrity but I do remember that I put down a mini-van and my current job as options.

Here's my story:

I am married to Hugh Jackman and we live with our one child in a shack. I drive to and from my current job in Chicago in a mini-van. My co-workers laughed because half of the MASH is already true. I can't even win with MASH!

But wait, look what I read this morning. Things are looking up in the Jackman household!

Bat Cave

I did it! I finally finished the Twilight series! I have hidden in my little cave for the past couple of weeks - pun INTENDED! Get it? Vampires? Cave? Bats? All I've been doing is reading. Now I can have a life again. I can shower, eat, socialize, floss, and remember that I have family and friends - real family and friends who do not exist only on paper or in my imagination.

I was oh so tempted to head to the mall yesterday to attend a meet and greet with the "star" of the Twilight movie. I would have had to fight with pre-teen girls. No one is stronger than a pre-teen girl. So I just couldn't do it. Plus, what would I have said to the guy? "Hi, I'm old enough to be your mother. I'm a COOOOOGAAAAAR!" Okay, so not mother, but definitely former baby-sitter. Creepy.

I seriously can't handle all the buzz the movie is receiving. It's making me dizzy. Sigh.

Twilight

I am so addicted to the Twilight series. I am tempted to stay home from work so I can read all day and all night. I am in love with a 17 year old vampire. And I'm not the only one. This really isn't good for my tendency to fantasize. Forbidden love, gorgeous vampires, danger, rescue, love...its a recipe to suck me right in and make me disappear into their world. Sometimes I look up from reading and expect to see the characters. That or I forget the world is going on around me.

The movie is coming out in two weeks! You can bet I'll be lined up early with all the giggling pre-teen girls. I'll probably join in with the giggling.

My Hilarious Brothers

Last night my little brother, Andrew, sent me this email:

I heard the news that you landed a job to have your picture used in advertising! It was so hard to believe until your face started popping up in the mall! It was great to brag about you being my sister when I showed my friends your picture on a poster or a billboard in the mall. I took pictures to show you what you look like! I am so proud of you!

Love Andrew

He thinks he's SO funny. And he's right. I laughed out loud. He could have at least picked more attractive pictures of me!

Then I get an email from my other brother, Patrick, this morning. His friend, Stuart, is a model. You can understand the perpetual crush I've had since 5th grade after seeing this picture.

As you can see, I'm not the only funny one in the family.

Human Knot

Last night at rehearsal for The Senate, we played a few warm-up/group-mind games. One of them was the ol' human knot game. You stand in a circle and grab someone's hand with your right hand and another person's hand with your left hand. Then you have to work silently to untangle the knot. I've done this about 1,000 times - and that was at camp. No telling how many more times I've done this with improv groups. I'm 32 and still playing the human knot game. I love it.

At one point I found that it was my turn to cross over a sea of clasped hands. People bent down so you could climb over their arms and reach the other side. The problem is that your butt usually ends up in someone's face. I silently regretted not wearing a belt. As I crawled over the arms and hands, a few came precariously close to...you know...we'll call it "ground zero." My only thought was, "why oh why of all days did I have to start my period today."

Print Ad

I did something fun and unique last week. I was booked as a model for a print ad. Well, I wouldn't necessarily say "Tyra Banks" model, but I like using the word "model" none-the-less. This was my first print ad and a total learning experience. I will never look at billboards and posters the same; especially if it has me on it.

I was told to meet at North Avenue Beach last Thursday at 6:45 am. All I knew was that there would be two trailers and I was to bring some options for running clothes and then some casual saturday afternoon type clothes. I show up dragging my large bag into the trailer and met the other models (I can't help myself). The wardrobe people and clients had me pull out my stuff. They asked that I wear the black spandex pants (Lord have mercy!) with a turquoise fleece and yellow running vest. I had not a stitch of makeup on my face.

Next thing you know, we're running up and down the bike path by the lake. "Go. Okay, stop! Go back. Do it again. One more time. You step out of the shot. Now run with her like you're running buddies." Meanwhile, we're freezing because it was on the colder side off a fall morning. Then we ran on the beach while the sun rose over the water. It really was a spectacularly beautiful morning. I was the only "extra" there and they couldn't show my face in the pics. They weren't paying me enough! If you see the posters in O'Hare, you might possibly see my lovely arse in spandex running down the path.

One of the guys in the shots asked, "So do you do a lot of modeling?" I almost had to pick myself up off the ground. "Um, no. This is my first time. I usually focus more on the acting." Bless his little heart. I almost kissed him right then and there.

Next, I headed in the mobile home to a hot dog place in Lakeview. I was wind-whipped and thawing by the time we reached the stop. I was glad to have a friend with me who had also been booked for the shoot. It makes the whole thing much less intimidating. We met other people who were also going to be in the shoot. I changed into the selected jeans and cute top. I also had my hair and makeup done in the trailer. I love that part! I could have fallen asleep in the chair. It's one of the best things ever. I could get used to it.

I was starving and another girl and I had to sit at a table with our hands holding onto a hot dog. But not eating it. Pure torture. We did some casual conversing while the photographer took some pictures. Then they saw a cute kid who happened to come into the store with his mother. They signed him on the spot and used him in some pictures. I had to play his mom and it was basically my job to make him laugh. Success! They only saw my hand or hair in the picture. At one point I have my hand on the table and from behind the photographer puts some lotion on my hand and says, "You're a little ashey." Well, it was cold and I was at the lake and it was windy! I had no idea I'd be a hand model today! Otherwise I would have at least shaped them up a little. They were pretty bad. So if you see a hand with hang nails on a billboard, it's mine.

Now I can add actress/model to my resume. Me and Fabio - taking over the world, one print ad at a time.

Happy Halloween from Texas

Sadly I wasn't home to see the boys in action. Here are a few pictures of what I missed.

To Be a Mermaid on Someone's Arm

I'm changing this blog to telling stories solely about my hotness. It's edifying.

Thursday night I went to a diner near my apartment for dinner with Amanda. She had to leave just as the bill came (of course!) to go to a haunted house. No thanks! So I walked up to the register to pay for dinner. The man working the counter is also in charge of the place. He's incredibly extraverted and LOVES his job. He took my debit card and said, "Huh, Mary. I could hook up with you and it wouldn't matter. I could call out your name and my wife wouldn't think twice because her name is Mary." Oh my word. Inappropriate! Then he continues by pulling up his shirt sleeve to reveal his forearm. He said, "See, this is my wife." It was a tattoo of a mermaid. A mermaid and her exposed boobs. "Wow, well your wife is way more beautiful than I am." "Oh no. I took notice of you when you walked in. You've got incredible features. You're like a fourties or fifties bombshell moviestar. Don't worry. I'm flirting with you but I'm not hitting on you. Just flirting." I just left it with a "thank you and I already left the tip on the table."

Support the Troops

Below is a letter from my brother-in-law, Chris. He's writing for support of his organization, Heroes4Heroes. It's a wonderful organization and a worthy cause. What an amazing way to show the troops our gratitude by giving even during these tough economic times.

Dear family and friends,

Most of you know that I started a charity almost three years ago called Heroes4Heroes. We work directly with the military to send out care packages consisting of portable media like comics books, DVD's, video games, magazines and books. This year we were able to send out over 3,000 care packages, 40,000 comics, 800 DVD's and 600 books. We are holding our Live Art Fundraiser this weekend on Nov. 8th at the Sheraton Arlington. I am writing this email to encourage you all to come to the event and to ask you for your help. Last year our event venue was free and this year it will cost us about $5,000. Anything you could give will go a long way to helping us achieve our goal of sending out 10,000 care packets in 2009. H4H is a 501 (c) (3) non-profit organization and ALL, 100% of our fundraising goes directly to the cause. All our staff are volunteers and we pay no saleries of any kind. Please consider donating either on our website www.heroes4heroes.org/donate/ or send us a check directly made out the

Heroes4Heroes
9905 Boston Harbor Dr.
Aubrey, TX 76227

I have attached a brochure where you can read all about our organization and even read the letter we got from Gen. Petraeus and a letter from a soldier who recieved one of our packets (go to the website to view information). Please forward this on to all your friends who have a heart for the young men and women serving in harms way to protect our freedoms and give freedom to people who have never had it.

Chris McCroskey