To Be a Mermaid on Someone's Arm

I'm changing this blog to telling stories solely about my hotness. It's edifying.

Thursday night I went to a diner near my apartment for dinner with Amanda. She had to leave just as the bill came (of course!) to go to a haunted house. No thanks! So I walked up to the register to pay for dinner. The man working the counter is also in charge of the place. He's incredibly extraverted and LOVES his job. He took my debit card and said, "Huh, Mary. I could hook up with you and it wouldn't matter. I could call out your name and my wife wouldn't think twice because her name is Mary." Oh my word. Inappropriate! Then he continues by pulling up his shirt sleeve to reveal his forearm. He said, "See, this is my wife." It was a tattoo of a mermaid. A mermaid and her exposed boobs. "Wow, well your wife is way more beautiful than I am." "Oh no. I took notice of you when you walked in. You've got incredible features. You're like a fourties or fifties bombshell moviestar. Don't worry. I'm flirting with you but I'm not hitting on you. Just flirting." I just left it with a "thank you and I already left the tip on the table."