How NOT to Hit on a Girl

Last night Jessie and I decided we would really try to get active, get social and get involved with our church. I've been there for two and a half years and haven't really been connected since the first 3 months (when I really wanted to meet new people). They planned a bowling social for last night and we thought that would be harmless and fun. Usually I try to avoid these things because of their "meet market" tendencies * GAG * (open mouth, insert index finger and produce gagging noises). So after talking ourselves out of staying home to watch Everwood we drove to the bowling alley.

We were on time, of course. Thankfully there were others there who cared about timeliness. Five minutes later we were bowling on lane 5. Paige, Rob and Luke joined me and Jessie as we attempted a 300. We were having fun chatting and asking questions like, "Sooooo....how long have you lived in Chicago? Oh, you're a native? I didn't know those existed anymore. Hee hee." I sucked it up and became "Outgoing Katy." She's exhausting. I think Luke was trying to be social and decided to ask me, "Did you play sports growing up?" "Yeah. Why?" "Did you play softball?" "No, why?" "Oh, you look like a softball player." "Excuse me?" "You look like a softball player." "WHAT. THE. HELL?!!!!" You could just see that I was about to leap over those plastic seats and punch him in the face (which didn't help the "softball" comment). "NO! I am not a lesbi.. I mean, NO! Hell NO! WHA?" Notice how I filtered my comments. I mean, I was with people I didn't know. He of course saw that he had obviously made a mistake and tried to cover it up by saying, "I mean, you look like you have quite an arm, like you could, like, throw the ball really far."

And there in that moment my life changed forever. No more lifting weights for me. Yes, I am strong. Could I probably throw a ball far? Yes. Was I throwing a 10 lbs. bowling ball at dizzying speeds toward the pins? Yes. So now I'm going to live off of broccoli and cauliflower. And I'm only going to eat that at breakfast. Shelby and I will have to change our training regiment to speed walking for 8 hours a day. And I am NEVER, and I repeat, NEVER, going to leave the house without lipstick.



















Okay, so she's not a lesbian. But she could still hurt someone.















There's just no explaining her.