Instant Messenger

A random sampling of an instant messanger conversation with a friend who shall remain nameless. My life is so exciting.


ME: i just had to say "diet soda" b/c we can't use coke here and no one gets the universal language of "coke"

FRIEND: haha! damn yankees - they so don't know how to talk. ex: "hey Katy, i'm heading over to the coke machine...want a coke?" Katy: "yes please." me: "what kind?" Katy: "Fresca if they have it." oh, the wonder of the southern talk...

ME: it's so great. it's like an inside secret. Fresca...the drink of the 90's along with Shasta and Tab

ME: I mean 80's

FRIEND: i had a fresca yesterday & thought of you.

ME: ahhhhh. I think everyone thinks of me when they drink fresca. maybe I should be their spokesperson.

FRIEND: i think of my dad, too. the original fresca drinker.

FRIEND: 1 hour, 15 min.

ME: you're right. i think he taught me everything.

ME: how dare you dartegnian or whatever

ME: 6 hours!

FRIEND: Dartanian!

ME: I like my spelling better.

FRIEND: woohoo...hey, dont' you get off at 445?

ME: yes. so 5:55 left

FRIEND: i see.

ME: you better
ME: ah, makes me smile

FRIEND: >:o>:o>:o>:o

ME: >:o

FRIEND: i like em small. they are scarier that way to me for some reason.

FRIEND: i think it's the beady eyes.

ME: >:o

FRIEND: what's up w/ this guy?

ME: open mouth, insert foot

ME: that's what I assume it is

FRIEND: really? i wondered if it were a sick person w/ a thermometer in their mouth?

FRIEND: this is a blog conversation waiting to happen.

ME: it's an episode of seinfeld

ME: i like it. i may have to include it

FRIEND: yep

Resident Alien

Apologies to all who have checked this site religiously only to find that I have neglected sharing my thoughts and adventures. Thank you for expressing your concern. But yes, I am still alive and well.
It's official. There's no turning back. I have finally become a resident of the State of Illinois. The Land of Lincoln and the birth place of Ronald Reagan (which I have heard continuously this week. I really am sad that he passed away because he was a wonderful president and a man of integrity and conviction. But, he suffered greatly as well as his family. Finally he is at peace).
My journey to this residency wasn't without it's mishaps and use of maps and algarithmic equations. Why is it so hard to figure out how to get a new license? I needed everything short of a DNA test to even enter the licensing room.
Walking downtown to the Thompson Center (can't believe I found it) was much like walking down the streets of Paris or Rome (except cleaner). I seriously felt like I was in another world. But I liked it and felt like I was a world wide traveler once again. I discovered that I didn't have to wait hours upon hours in line until my name was called. But what I did discover was that I had to take a written test. A WRITTEN TEST?!!!!!!! I haven't even studied this material in over 12 years. Eenie meanie miney mo definitely came into play. TA DA! She passed! And not even barely.
From there I was ushered into a room where they took my photo, but only after they peeled the beautiful Texas license out of my hands, punched a whole in it and sent it on to what I can only imagine is a torturous chamber of fire! Weeping!
"Ma'am, can you tell me your eye color?"
"Brown"
"Height?"
"5'4"
"Weight?"
"Um. WEIGHT?! WHAT THE HECK? WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW MY WEIGHT? THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO NEED TO HAVE MY WEIGHT PARADING AROUND TOWN! WHY WOULD A BOUNCER AT A BAR NEED TO KNOW HOW MUCH I WEIGH? Calm down...breath. WILL THEY KICK ME OUT IF I WEIGH OVER 120?"

I couldn't lie. I couldn't do it. I should have said I weigh near 200 pounds. That way people will say, "you don't weigh that much" and it will be a compliment instead of thinking "she totally lied" or "that looks about right."
My picture turned out pasty and I look like a 50's housewife. Hey, it could be worse.
As I went to spend another portion of my inheritance on new license plates I saw something that has been burned in my brain. As I walked up to the counter....I can hardly say it...I saw...a man...I'll just say it!...cutting off a wart on his hand with scissors!!!!!! After 10 seconds of smelling salts, I finally came to.
So no more tickets! I'm official and I finally have my car back! Freedom of the road. I sure missed it!

Single..and Loving It!

I would say that I am a pretty happy single person. I'm not one to usually look at married couples and sigh with disappointment that I didn't have what they have. I typically look at myself as the "I'm single and loving it!" kind of gal. Others are envious of my energy and passion for life and adventure!(she says to herself). But this weekend was a gauntlet of happily married beautiful people (all whom I love and adore!).
There were about all of 4 single people at this recent wedding celebration. Me and my three beautiful friends wore the "I'm single" sashes with pride. But I have to admit that as we all danced on the dance floor I was dreading the all too inevitable "couples only dance." Sure enough "Let's Get it On" came through the speakers and yours truly did a quick about face to the singles table (exactly, why do single people have to all be put at one table as if we're the plague!? Probably because we don't fit in perfect segments of 6's or 8's. Really no big deal but just an observation). I couldn't help but to look on with hope and frustration at the same time.
But don't you think that I walked away empty handed! Oh no. There was some action! Alligators aren't the only predators on Kiawah Island. Two single men were on the prowl. One was laid claim to by a certain someone who will remain nameless, the other was one to be avoided. Unfortunately I was unable to avoid the "goodbye hug" at the end of the night. I had just met him so I'm not exactly sure why a "goodbye hug" was necessary. There was a hug, a slight pause and then I felt his nose dig into my neck as he took a big whiff. After what seemed like WAY TOO LONG he abruptly lifted his head and said, "you smell good." I muttered something about shampoo or lotion. I'm way too secure to be carried away by a statement like that. But hey, it's good to know that you smell good thank you very much.

Some fun events of the weekend that turned into one big dramatic saga:
1)Delayed flight
2)12 ft. alligator sighting
3)hearing the alligator was run over
4)Katy's purse was stolen while she strolled along the beach
5)Katy's bathing suit top broke (I'm not even going to mention the previous fear of the bikini not fitting, but I'm sure it was only due to it being well-worn) Thank you Carrie for letting me borrow an extra strap so I could strap myself in good and tight.
6)Katy cancelling her credit and debit cards
7)Katy finding her purse at the front desk and rejoicing with tears b/c she didn't have to figure out a way to get home without a picture ID
8)More delayed flights on the way home
9)Rachel and Katy unable to find eachother as they wander around Charleston
10)Luggage being lost and not returned until over 24 hours later
11)Finally being able to brush my teeth! Priceless.

It's Gettin' Hot in Here!

It's getting hot in here and yes I wish I could take off all my clothes. Not that the office would much appreciate that one...or EVER want to see me again.
What is it with this city?! As my dad said, "In Chicago, if you don't like the weather wait 5 minutes."
Okay, I don't need to bash the city. Who cares if I am sitting in a puddle of sweat today and that tomorrow it may be snowing! I mean, it's more the fact that the air conditioning in this office is broken and I can hardly concentrate because I began to panic when I feel a bead of sweat forming on my brow. I love it too when you have dark lines on your shirt because your pudgy tummy catches your shirt in it's rolls and it stains it with sweat.
For all of you who were sweet enough to read my Europe emails, this may sound familiar. I laid in bed the other night paralyzed because any movement could cause me to break out in severe persperation. Finally my roommate agreed to turn the air conditioning on so that I could sleep and wouldn't be grouchy. I just can't sleep when it's hot. And when it's hot, that just seems to be all I can talk about. Just ask Trey, he'll tell you.
I often wonder if I would rather be severely cold or severely hot. The jury's in and I'd just rather be perfectly comfortable thank you very much.
My avid readers and fans will be happy to know that I just returned from being waxed by a new person....drumroll please....she was great, quick and painless. I've finally found my new bikini waxer! (que the trumpets). Let's just hope she doesn't get married and move away and I have to start over from square one again.
ARGH! I'm finally squeaky clean in the unmentionables area but I am a little frightened by the fact that I have to squeeze myself into a bikini that may or may not fit me. I know where the bikini is, I see it and it taunts me. I can barely bring myself to try it on. I might as well get it over with. I'm secretly hoping that I'll be so turned off by myself that I'll throw away all the movie candy that sweet Maria brought over last night for girls movie night and I will never be tempted by "bad" food again. Or maybe I'm secretly hoping that I look great in my bikini. I mean, all I really need is a good tan right? Tan fat is prettier than pale fat. That's my motto!

Personal Care: Hunting for Women

So I'm on the hunt for a new bikini waxer. I went to the same person for 11 years. Sweet Lee who knows my life story and all of my friends has moved on. Talk about a tragic moment in my life! I thought Lee would always be around. I had plans of her waxing me before my wedding, seeing pictures of my kids, etc. She was a fixture in my life. She was there when I got my drivers license for the first time. She helped me through two years of cheerleading (can't mess around with short skirts and bloomers. High kicks and toe touches made sure I saw Lee at least once a month). I saw her on my visits home from College. She even wished me the best as I headed around the world. I could almost shed a tear!
Hunting for a new bikini waxer is no easy task. You try to get recommendations from other people but that doesn't always work. Then you have to actually go through the bikini waxing experience with this new person. It's so personal and vulnerable. You don't just trust anybody! And when it doesn't work, IT DOESN'T WORK! It's enough to make a grown man cry for his momma. It's a sort of trial and error if you will. It can be very similar to going to a new hair stylist except the pain ratio is much higher. But at least if it's a bad job, you don't have to wear a hat for the next six months.
Men have no idea what we go through! Seriously! Let's take the most sensitive part of our skin, throw some hot wax on it, rub a piece of cloth over it until it sticks like cement, and for kicks...RIP IT OFF! This sounds like some kind of torture if you ask me. That's why it's imperative that you find someone you trust, who's good at what they do and makes it as quick and painless as possible.
I have to admire Bikini Waxers. That is definitely not something I would want to do for a living. I mean, they have to pretend that it isn't in anyway awkward or weird. When you go to a new waxer for the first time you pretend that "hey this is normal, this is good. I've done this before. No it doesn't bother me that I'm exposed." Then you bring up insincere conversations of "where you from? How are the kids? No I'm not interested in new lotion that can keep me from breaking out but will break the bank."
Oh Lord I hope no boys read this. Wait, I take that back. If they do read it, they will be better men for it. I applaud any guy who made it through this ranting and raving.
I'm nearly ready to hit the beach. I just have to take care of this one little thing...

10 Random Thoughts

Some random thoughts for the day:
1) My recent word of addiction has been "HYSTERICAL." I use it way too often and find myself saying it in almost any situation. For instance, "Katy, my dog just died." I respond, "that's hysterical!" Or I say it when someone says something funny but not funny enough to induce a laugh. So it's a deadpan "that's hysterical." Or how about when I'm just so tired and don't know how to respond. For example, "Katy, Merve just called and said he didn't get an email." I respond, "That's hysterical." I really must get a new word.

2)I just took a quiz on "which Friend are you?" I'm Phoebe. Hey, I like her. She's "hysterical."

3)I work in an office of 16 woman and some genius decided that we needed only 1 bathroom. For some reason my timing has been off lately. Everytime I get up and turn the corner, the door to the bathroom closes. There's a nice one down the hall, but let's face it, I'm lazy.

4)I had an "hysterical" thought last night. I was in a cab on the way home from my aunt's house (thanks to the many tickets provoking me to park my car in her garage. It's in hiding) and had the thought, "I need to run another marathon." Now what would incite me to think that? Maybe the fact that a diet of chocolate and carbs isn't doing it for me. Running is my only hope. At least I can do a half.

5)Why do I set my alarm for 6:15 a.m. knowing that each morning I'll change it to 7 a.m. when the alarm goes off? Do I feel more athletic or in shape just because I "think" about exercising? It's the thought that counts, right?

6)I've lost all discipline. I used to be the queen of discipline. People hated me because I was so disciplined. I don't even floss daily anymore. Maybe I should start there...with the little things.

7)I just looked through People's 50 Most Beautiful People and was disappointed not to find myself in the issue. And to make things worse, my star crush, Aaron Eckhardt wasn't in there. What has this world come to????????

8)I'm having a good hair day. It's the first in months. Note to self, the hair growing out process is not a smooth and easy transition unless you're a celebrity with a personal stylist.

9)I hate when you take a pice of gum out of it's package and the white wraps come out with the silver lining. Now all my gum will fall out into my purse and it will be squished.

10)I just read that Drew Barrymore is staring in the Movie version of "The Confederacy of Dunces." I wanted to be in that movie! Also, she lost 30 lbs. running. Why can't I be disicplined like her?

Fangorn

Things are really progressing with Trainer Brad. He actually opened up to me about a friendship he wants to turn into more of a romantic relationship. I gave him some wise counsel. I'm thinking that maybe we could come up with an agreement: He offers free training sessions in return for some wise relationship counseling. I think it's fair, not sure he would see it that way. And trust me, he needs the help!
The other day he had me doing more exercises to make sure my butt looks in great shape (too bad I counteract that with Ben and Jerry's and a tub of guacamole the other night from Adobo Grill...and milk duds - the best movie candy EVER!). He had me doing these mega stair climbs. A weight bench stood in front of me and it was my job to step up onto the bench and then raise my opposite knee (much like step class) and then switch each time. Unfortunately for me (and other innocent bystanders), I was wearing shorts.
Now, I've been using bikini wax as my favorite form of hair removal since I was a teenager. But the long winter months in Chicago had me not caring a bit whether or not things were ship shape. So all I kept thinking as I stepped up and raised my knee was, "I hope everything is tucked away down there and there aren't any surprises for potential audiences around me." I simply refer to it as "Fangorn." For those of you who could care less about the Lord of the Rings, you'll have no clue. It's a dense forrest that is believed to harbor scary things. Hence my reference to it.
I have decided that wearing long pants would be more suitable at this point. And it would improve my chances of being asked out on a date.
Laser hair removal definitely is something I want to look into. All you girls out there can just give me a big fat "AMEN"!!!!
I do realize that this particular story that I've shared might frighten people, but I'm working on being vulnerable and honest no matter the cost. They say that makes the best comedy.

Ticketed

This sunday I walked to my car for the first time in two days. And what did my eyes see? My car adorned in orange and white paper. Two tickets awaited my arrival on my driver-side window. Seriously, that was totally unnecessary.
I am a poor sad soul who allowed my Texas Registration sticker to expire. Now why the heck would any police officer from Illinois care that my TEXAS registration sticker had expired? I will leave the officer's name confidential but all I can say is DESPERATE to make QUOTA!
People are out and about in Wrigleyville enjoying the Cubs play the Mets. The police officers are also out and about enjoying the festival of tickets that they have waited so long to hand out. It's like the City of Chicago awaits Cub season so they can raise all sorts of money from poor souls like me! Two tickets within 24 hours of eachother...by the same person! Like I can do anything about a TEXAS registration sticker on a saturday or sunday. Give me a BREAK!!!
I'm working on it! I'm definitely contesting one of the tickets. I couldn't sleep last night because I kept dreaming police officers were stalking my car and adorning it with their equivolent of crate paper to a cheerleader. Not that I have anything against police officers. I greatly appreciate their hard work and their commitment to keeping all of us safe out there! They do indeed put their lives in danger by protecting us. But how is a registration ticket a danger? Don't answer that.
As I told my dad this morning, it just makes me want to be married so that someone can take care of me and certain areas of life that I tend to want to pass over or procrastinate on. Like getting the oil changed. Or someone to point out that I need to have my tires rotated because the tread is wearing thin. Like I have a clue about those things. All things cars just stress me out!
So I am $100 poorer but a whole world wiser. Thanks but I don't want to have to learn this lesson again...and again...and again.
I'm applying for a mail order groom who likes to take care of cars and leaks in the roof...oh and great when it comes to taxes and money. Leave me to the relationships and nurturing. Heck, I'll even cook!

Sprng Eternal: A Lunch Break Epiphany

Spring signifies a time of renewal and transformation. It does indeed! Yesterday as I was walking along Michigan Avenue I was overwhelmed by the warmth of the sun on my face and hoped that my hybernating freckles would finally appear. People walked a little slower, filled their lungs with fresh air and forgot their troubles momentarily.
I was almost giddy as I walked along the tulip lined street of the Magnificent Mile. It was as if they were about to burst into the air to greet the world. Green fragile leaves are peeking out from the stems that once encased them. It is like they are stretching and yawning from a long winter. The buzz of the people and the music of the birds filled the air.
It was enough to make me want to hug the silver robotic man on the corner of Chicago and Michigan. I wanted to hi-five the lady dressed in a business suit and running shoes. I wanted to yell to the cab driver honking his way through the busy street that I loved him! I was waiting for everyone to break out into song and dance as if we were starring in a musical.
There's hope of life renewed and the desire for transformation in all forms of life. It's amazing what spring can do.

Sweet Lovin': A Story of Passion & Betrayal

It is a love that has blossomed over the past few years. A love that has brought me much joy, satisfaction and happiness. Never could I have imagined my relationship with these two men to be so wonderful and so wrong at the same time.
Ben and Jerry. Their love surprised me one night at a grocery store. I looked through the pane of glass and my heart quickened. I began to read the characteristics of their gifts and an addiction was born. An addiction that still haunts me to this very day.
When I was training for a marathon there was so much joy in our relationship. They were a reward for my hard work, sweat and determination. I was in my own Utopia. They were my opium. Nothing could go wrong. They were a foundation built of rock in my life. If I was lonely, they were there. If I was joyful, they were there. If I was angry, they were there. And if I was bored, they were there. A pattern that could do no wrong. No wrong until I stopped my obsessive physical exertion. That's when the betrayal began.
What kind of betrayal you ask? The worst of it's kind. I gave them nothing but attention and consistent quality time. No they did not run away; instead they stuck to me like a listerine strip sticks to the roof of your mouth. A permanent nuisance to my once ideal life. Is this revenge? I don't understand why.
No matter how I try to turn my eyes or ignore my thoughts, I just cannot have enough of them. Even yesterday they got the best of me. Am I doomed to fail daily?
I sat there praying that I would have the strength to walk away. I found myself asking God for my favorite flavor to be missing from shelves of the Jewel frozen section. And I said, "If it is there, then that must mean that you want me to give into this animal-like behavior." And there as I rounded the corner, I saw it. "Everything But the..." staring me right in the face. I asked, "God, is this you?" Silence. "That must mean that You want me to have this." He replied, "Don't even bring me into this! You have the power to SAY NO!"
Oh treacherous deceit! They thwarted me into letting my guard down and moved quickly to devour my strenth. I gave in once again. AND IT SURE WAS GOOD!

Measuring Up

I think it's safe to say that I've had the same 2 bras for the past six years. Only now are they starting to wear a little. I am a little surprised that they lasted this long. The secret is to hang dry the lingerie. Normally I'm too impatient to do this but you don't mess around with a good bra.
Wednesday I thought it might be a good idea to try something new and different. I innocently walked into Vicky Secret's with my roommate to "just look around." Suddenly I was approached by a woman with a tape measure around her neck worn like a scarf. Yikes! I've seen one of these a little too recently.
She kindly asked if I was looking for anything in particular. I asked if she would point me in the direction of the bras. She said, "Have you been measured recently." I wanted to shout, "Yes! And it wasn't pleasant. My hips are not at a happy stage at the moment." But I refrained. Instead I said, "No, but I don't think I'm ready to be measured."
"But you need to be measured every 6 months. 9 out of 10 women wear the wrong sized bra."

"Yes, I can see that, but I'm not at a place right now, physically, that I want to be measured."

"Oh, you're wanting to lose weight?"
(thank you captain obvious!)

"Exactly. I'm just now coming out of winter hybernation."

"Most women gain weight over the winter and that's why you need to be measured every 6 months."

"Well, I don't want to be measured! Why buy a bra that's going to be too big for me in one month!" Plus I'm a risk taker! I might just buy a bra and not know for sure the right size. I'm crazy!
Why may I ask did I have to be accosted in a safe environment like Victoria's Secret? I thought women understood women. Apparently not. I mean, if I wanted to get measured, I'd go to the doctor or back to Brad to be completely humiliated. I was waiting for a "you're a little larger around the rib cage but you could use a training bra in the cup." NO THANK YOU!

A Bachelor Obsession

I didn't mean to do it. It wasn't in my plans. Perhaps it was a force stronger than myself that led me to turn on ABC last night to catch the last 40 minutes of The Bachelor. All I can say is, DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA!!!!!
I missed too much of it to really know the new cast but I caught enough of it to know that it's going to be one vicious season. All the more fun to watch!
We had an office meeting this morning in the hallway between the cubicles to discuss these important topics: 1) Who is the mole? and 2) What the heck was that with poor sweet Katie?!!
Let's start with topic #1: It seems to be a concensus in the office that it's Jenny S. Gorgeous in her own right, she's not the pageant queen/cover model the rest appear to be. Good for her! Also, she has quite a bit in common with the bachelor. So, hmmmm. We shall see.
Onto topic #2: As a Katy, I must ask, "Why is it always the Katie's of this world that get picked on, picked over, and cast to the side?!" Hello! She's totally adorable and a worthy competitor if you care to know my opinion.
Also, a guy should NEVER give advice to another guy about women. If the "host" had been a woman, Katie would have stayed on and never known she wasn't wanted. I was yelling at the t.v. and secretly waiting for Jesse to turn to Chris and say "I really wanted to give you the rose." And for Chris to reply, "Finally! I thought no one would ever notice me!"
And really, why must Chris say "Jesse, Ladies, this is the last rose" for every rose ceremony. DUH! I think we can see that and the women have been counting down the roses since the first one was handed out. He gets paid for this?!!!
And why do I care so much about this? I have no idea. And did you see the previews for the season? Two words: CAT FIGHT!

Humiliation at its Finest

It's that time of year again. The time of year when you look at yourself in the mirror for the first time in 6 months and wonder "How in the world am I going to fit into last years' bikini?" You begin having visions of yourself being arrested on the beach for indecency and the lack of discretion for wearing such a thing when you're not "physically fit" enough. Why can't America be like Italy? You see great grandmothers, obese men and women and everyother body type wearing bikinis and speedos. No one gawks horrifically at someone who has a patch of cellulite on the thighs and turns to their friend to say, "No one who looks like that should wear a bikini!" Personally, I think that's just insecurity speaking. Or maybe I am facing trial for comments like those that I spoke years ago.
Enough with that rampage. I faced a humiliating reality last week when I went to the gym to have my "physical accessment" done. Now as someone who has prided herself on great physical fitness and muscular tone, the 5 month Chicago winter has hit me like a chicago-style pizza in the thighs.
Sweet Brad, my trainer. 23 year old, just out of college Brad had the opportunity to squash my pride to the size of a nanoatom-molecularproton-amoeba thing. Lucky him. At 6am on a Monday morning he pointed towards a certain object against the wall and looked on with horror and disbelief. How could I weigh that much?!!!!!! Then came the torcher utensils. Plyer like tong things that pinch your skin and tell you how fat you are.
Three areas where most women develop insecurities:

1)The back of the upper arm.
2)The side of the stomach that rolls when you bend sideways to pick up something off the floor.
3)The abdomen directly next to the belly button that is often mutilated by the indention of pants zippers.

Not once, not twice, but three times did these areas of my body have to be pinched! Picture this:
Brad on his knees with my shirt lifted above my belly button while he takes his two fingers to grab my belly button and the skin beside only to squeeze it with this sharp tong-like object. Run on sentence...for a moment of time that kept running on.
One would think that I would be motivated enough after that humiliating incident. But no! Last night I had a gourmet shmorgasbord of fine foods at a friends house. And did I watch what I ate? Well I sure did watch the food disappear from the table and into my mouth in record like speed. I almost couldn't breath. Good times.
Learn from me. Learn from my mistakes. And live happily!

Urban Chic

Sometimes I can be known for my impulsive shopping sprees. But this one was no fault of mine. I have to blame it on Spring. Yes, Spring, as in the season. I knew something was amiss when my entire office went out on a shopping venture for our lunch break on Friday. We have been bitten by the bug. The bug that makes us long for something new and adventurous. No doubt the fact that we are so sick of wearing our coats and sweaters for sixth months in a row has a little something to do with this. But it was not clothes that I was after on a warm and sunny saturday morning. I wanted transportation!
Spring often lends itself to nostalgia in my little world. I could almost hear the ice cream trucks, sprinklers spraying, the sound of the community pool and a tennis match playing in the background while I nap on the couch. It also made me think of days of old when I would ride my bike with my dad to a local diner and we didn't worry about the potential danger an environmentally conscious person could face on the road.
So what did I do when I passed a neighborhood bicycle shop? I went in of course. I was also attracted to the "Super Sale" sign grandly displayed on the outside of the store.
I walked out of there with an Urban Chic bike. It's nothing fancy and definitely not decked out, but it's cool enough. I even had a rack put on the back so that I can go to the grocery store. It is commuter friendly and stylish. How hip I must have looked as I had a saddle bag filled with groceries riding down Halsted. Let's hope there was little resemblance to the wicked witch that taunted Dorothy and Toto. I can almost hear the song in my head. Oh God, please no.
So now I am officially Urban Chic. I am free from the dependency on a car. I can ride my bike anywhere I may choose and not have to worry about parking. That's freedom. And I'll save a few bucks too due to the rising prices of gasoline.
I keep trying to remember my bicycle safety class in second grade. I even whipped out a hand signal yesterday at a stop sign. I do remember some of the things I was taught in my youth!
Freedom on the road. That's me.

Morning Breath Commute

As I sat on the el this morning, I had an epiphany. This was in no way a self-propelled realization. Instead it was forced upon me by a sudden waft of an unidentifiable odor. But as it came in and out like waves on a shore, I studied it and came to a conclusion. Morning Breath. Please, is it really necessary to open your mouth everytime you beathe? If it is, a nice brush before the morning commute would be nice. If not for your own well-being and the well-being of your teeth, then for the good of all those who are forced to ride along with you on this journey. There are different kinds of odors that can be caused by this olfactory damaging disease we like to call "halitosis." There is the, "I just had cereal and milk but was too lazy to brush my teeth" odor. We can't forget the most well known of all, the "I had to have my morning coffee on the way to work while I read my paper" breath. Some opt for the "I was running late for work and forgot to brush my teeth and didn't have time to change my underwear" aroma.
You see, these are the things I ponder as I ride to work. The first half of the ride I look out longingly at the bright blue sky and the chirping birds. The second half I am resolved to think due to the tunnel effect. I have to be careful not to think too much or I will be overcome by claustrophobic-like symptoms.
All in all, I will probably have much to say about my commute to and fro. It provides me much amusement.

Paris & London

GOD IS GOOD
Just a short note to those of you who have been praying. I arrived in Paris safely!! I was in a cabin with 3 girls...2 from Boston and one from Chile. I am staying in a hotel room with the Boston girls, which is a huge blessing. Tomorrow I fly to London because it is cheaper than the train. And I will get to hang out with Becky in a couple of days up in Oxford. Never been there and should be great. I will write more soon. This is a record of the shortest email from me yet...french keyboard. I love this city!! and yes, for those of you who were wondering, you do get hit on more when you dont travel with a guy. That's not necessarily a good thing.

Valencia

LIVIN’ LA VIDA LOCA
Yesterday I was thinking that there´s really not much interesting to write to you guys. But, with Trey´s help, there´s a little juice to this email. Barcelona was hard to leave. I really could have stayed there longer, but alas, other countries were calling my name. We did have dinner with a friend of Brandom´s who is from Barcelona. Gemma was really sweet and it was fun to talk with a local. Thanks Brandom.
We next headed off to the resort town of Valencia on the east coast of Spain. It is pronounced Valenthia in Catalyn. It´s kind of funny listening to them talk because they all sound like they have lisps. They replace the c´s and some s´s with "th" sounds. For example, ¨"Thay, what´th been happening lately with you guyth? Are you cooking with Worthethire thauthe? The Thun ith Thining over Than Franthithco." Interesting. Valencia was nice and my favorite part was just walking around the place. We took a more scientific exploration of this city. They have a huge oceanography, science and history, and hemisphere museum. The best part was the architecture of the place...pretty cool. We saw a dolphin show at the oceanography center which is like a much smaller version of Sea World. It was a nice change of pace. We also went to the beach. The beach provides such fun people watching for avid people watcher´s like me. I saw two very "close" couples as I was getting out of the water. I looked closer and they were popping each others pimples on their backs. Hello! That´s gross. I´m really not into that although I know some of you are....no names mentioned. So romantic. Anyways, the beach was sandy and the water warm. That night we ate at a great Italian restaurant that looked more like a wine cellar lit with candels...kind of fun. Trey decided he wanted to go hear some music. We walked down a few streets that have some really amazing looking bars. They are all unique and have a great atmosphere. Trey heard latin music coming from one and thought that would be a good place to stop. Of course I observed that the window was covered and that the door didn´t let you see inside. I atomatically thought...gay club or strip joint. I kept my thoughts to myself. So he waved me in and all I see is 5 guys...hmmm, a little fishy. But the music is fun so we stay. We sit down as trey drinks his beer and over his shoulder I spot something different. A little of the paraphenalia on the door leads me to a very decisive conclusion. It´s a gay bar. As I begin to look around and see rainbow flags and then two guys dancing, my observations are confirmed. I had to laugh and I'm sure the guys in the place were laughing too. I think we were there all of 15 minutes. But hey, it was festive and the music was great. I mean, how am I supposed to meet a guy if Trey brings me to those kinds of places?!!!
Yes, some of you may be wondering how I have managed living with only 5 pieces of wardrobe. Well, I believe I´ve done very well. I must admit that trying to do laundry only once a week can be a little trying when you sweat a lot. Yesterday I wore the same jeans I had worn the 2 days before and a shirt that was once again recycled from the day before. But knowing the beach was on the agenda, I didn´t care. I didn´t have a beach towel so I laid my clothes on the sand and sat on those. Then we went to the train station to buy our tickets for the next day. I put my clothes on over my wet suit. I looked like I was lactating and had peed in my pants. But, I still walked with my head held high. Such a fashionista!
We just got to Madrid and it is wonderful. I think we are going to see a bull fight tonight and perhaps catch the Charlié´s angel movie tomorrow...such simple joys in life. I hope you all are doing great. I can´t believe I will be home in 10 days....sad but ready at the same time. Once again, God has been taking great care of us. What a huge blessing this trip has been. Still no thought about what I will do when I get home. If you have any ideas or opportunities, I´m listening.

Barcelona

FASHION ISSUE
Katy Orender´s European Fashion Observations (and Criticisms)...so if your not fashion conscious, just scroll down:

1)European men are very fond of the capri pants, mostly cargo Capri´s. But you know what, they can totally pull it off. Now, if I were to see American´s in them in America, I’m not quite sure what affect they would have. Dad, they may be a good alternative to the typical "running suit" if you will.

2)For the women, showing the bra straps is VERY in. But there is a new look out there...clear straps. I must get myself one of these before I come home. Sometimes I see them with fabric flowers sewn onto them.

3)The hair trend:
-for girls, I have seen quite a few longer mullets. I´m not kidding! Too bad I already cut my hair off or I would definitely have one of these...not so much.
-for guys, it’s a twist on the mohawk and it can actually be attractive on some people. It’s slightly longer hair down the middle of your head than on the sides (see David Beckham or The Real World Paris for examples).

Those are pretty much the main differences I’ve seen over here. So I expect to see mullets, mohawks, clear bra straps, and capri pants when I get home. I’m doing my best to keep you all fashionable.

UPDATE: I have a new love for SPAIN!!! Barcelona has to be one of the most fascinating, fun, energetic, and lively cities I´ve been to. I can see why they chose to have the Olympics here. They know how to do things right...air conditioned metro system (need I say more?). We basically took a Picasso and Gaudi tour of the city today. Gaudi is definitely a revered and almost worshiped artist/architect in this city and country. If you come here, be sure to visit the Temple de la Sagrada Familia and the Parc Guelle. It will blow your mind. And Auntie, he was a seriously strong Catholic. The nightlife is wonderful. Of course I am way too old to hit the discotec every night till 2am. I prefer the people watching that La Rambla provides as well as the carnival people. We ate Tapas last night. Interesting...and yet I liked it.
Off to Valencia tomorrow. It´s a town along the East Coast. I have no idea what is there, but then again, do I ever really know where I´m going? I´m sure it will be a new fav. Have I mentioned yet how blessed I am? The Lord is ever faithful and good.

Colmar & Paris

BASTILLE DAY CELEBRATIONS
Where do I begin? I must say that France has taken much more of a warm place in my heart than I had intended. I've really loved it here. Colmar was a quaint little town and not much happening with weekends and major holidays. Trey and I took a mini little train tour of the city (which we had already walked around a billion times looking for a McDonalds). I really was a little bummed about the city until the Bastille (like our July 4th) celebrations started. We went to this concert in this park. They had an older Huey Lewis type in leather pants singing some American tunes in French. The crowd was packed tight and they just sang right along, so did I but in English. Then they had a "guest singer" during one of their songs. Well, he was HOT! That's what I nicknamed him "hot guy." As we watched the end of the concert, "hot guy" happened to be standing right in front of us. Be still my beating heart. Of course I tried to use telepathy and will power to make him turn around and then I remembered I wasn't an X-Men.
After the concert, they gave such a great fireworks show all to some great movie soundtrack songs: ET, Indiana Jones, Titanic, Jurassic Park (makes you want to cry...well at least me b/c I can cry at anything). I just kept thinking how thankful I was that I could be a part of it all. After the fireworks, "Hot guy" came on stage with his band. We later learned his name was Dr. Boost...interesting. Well, you wouldn't believe it but he began singing U2's Beautiful Day and Sunday Bloody Sunday....Hello! Can it get any better? I should think not. And love blossomed in her heart. Now we call him my boyfriend.
We arrived in Paris and low and behold, I open the door to my hostel room and 2 Kanakuk girls walk in. Crazy! One I worked with at K-Extreme (of course I couldn't remember her name...Leslie Garrison ring a bell?). We then went to the Eiffel tower with the rest of France after spending the day at the Pompadeaux (Modern art that few understand and even like) and Notre Dame. We followed the crowd and the Eiffel tower is GORGEOUS when it is lit up at night. We waited and waited and waited for the fireworks, but they were on

French time...aka. running late. We left so we wouldn't miss our curfew and watched them with hundreds of other people from a bridge. They were definitely more grand than Colmar, but Colmar had the fun intimacy (and "hot guy").
Today we went full steam ahead and hit the Eiffel tower, Arc de Triumphe, and the Musee d' Orsay (my favorite). I won't bore you with all I saw there, you'll just have to experience it for yourself. We leave for Barcelona on a night train tonight (yuk!). That was an experience getting tickets. Katy's business lesson for the day: if you can't get it done right the first time, go to someone else. After much prayer, a sweet lady found us two spots on the night train. I really have learned that prayer is huge, God is faithful, and I have no choice but to be at peace. He is in control, He knows our needs, and is faithful to provide.
Okay, a prayer request: my IT Band (that's on the leg) has been killing me and makes walking 8 hours a day very hard. I'm sure it has nothing to do with marathon running...hmmm. Also, Trey's arthritis in his back is bad too. Aren't we quite the super tourists? We are quite the sight limping up and down the Seine river. I am my father's daughter after all. I'd ice it dad, but we're in Europe...ice, what's that? So I pop the IB Profen candy. Well, that's the novel for the day. I hope you enjoy the read and it makes you smile. I love hearing from you guys. You are always so encouraging. Only 2 weeks left. It will fly by so quickly.

Annecy & Colmar

TOUR DE FRANCE
So I was riding a bike the other day and ran into Lance Armstrong...or maybe not. But we were near the city where they were heading to the next day (Lyon). After finally leaving Nice, Trey and I headed up to the most wonderful city I have visited yet. From a suggestion of his cousin, we went to Annecy France. It is a gorgeous little old city with cute old streets filled with families and old shops. They also have a little area that reminds me of a cleaner and smaller Riverwalk in San Antonio. We also ended up staying in a 3 star hotel that was cheaper than most places we've stayed. I got to be a princess for a couple of nights.
The next morning we decided to rent bikes and ride along a bike path that goes right around Lake Annecy. The lake is a gorgeous clear Turquoise and is surrounded by the Alps (hello! gorgeous! wish you were here...a little quote by Meg in French Kiss) I absolutely loved it and was awed by the beauty of God's creation. I think I kept talking about how gorgeous it was and Trey was finally like "I know!"
Anyway...so we were riding along and I heard someone whistle behind me and of course I knew that they just had to be checking out my butt and that they couldn't help but whistle. Then I realized before it was too late that he just wanted me to move so he could get by. Such is life! We decided to rent a boat for half an hour and just tour around the lake. Seriously, people were paddle boating by us faster than the boat was going full throttle. I did jump in and it was what I like to call "refreshing." Later I realized that sunscreen probably would have been a brilliant idea as well as some bodyglide. My buns were a little tender from 45 km of bike riding. If I had a billion dollars I would fly my whole family out here for a family reunion. It is the ideal spot for relaxation and adventure: sailing, windsurfing, beach volleyball, biking, hiking, beaches, shopping, good food, just wonderful! oh, and golf too.
We are now in the small city of Colmar located on the border of France and Germany. It has the most beautiful mix between German and French Architecture. It is almost like you're in a Disney World set for Hansel and Grehtel (however you spell it, I'm not German). Note to self: avoid small towns on Sundays and major holidays if that's when you plan to do your major sightseeing. Unfortunately all buses to the vinyards aren't running today...classic.
We leave for a couple days in Paris tomorrow before heading to Barcelona. I am learning so much about myself...just like I asked God to do...sometimes I'd rather live in oblivion. I love seeing the Lord in His creation and I am just awed by His great love for us and His people all over the world. So amazing!! Sorry for the novel but there's always so much to talk about.