Dear Man Wearing Short Shorts at the Gym:

I think it's great that you feel confident about your legs and want to show them off a little at the gym. Heck, come summertime I might even sport a pair of shorts. I need to work on my tan first. The glare is just too distracting.

My problem begins with the different exercises you choose to do in your short shorts. Let's call them flyaway shorts. You know, the kind really skinny marathoners wear? Do you remember when you put a mat on the floor facing the mirror and layed on your back while holding an extended right leg in the air while the left one remained flat on the ground? You don't? Well I do. In fact it has scarred me for life.

As the voice of our generation, Gunther from Friends, once said, "Keep the mouse in the house buddy. This is a family place."