Fangorn

Things are really progressing with Trainer Brad. He actually opened up to me about a friendship he wants to turn into more of a romantic relationship. I gave him some wise counsel. I'm thinking that maybe we could come up with an agreement: He offers free training sessions in return for some wise relationship counseling. I think it's fair, not sure he would see it that way. And trust me, he needs the help!
The other day he had me doing more exercises to make sure my butt looks in great shape (too bad I counteract that with Ben and Jerry's and a tub of guacamole the other night from Adobo Grill...and milk duds - the best movie candy EVER!). He had me doing these mega stair climbs. A weight bench stood in front of me and it was my job to step up onto the bench and then raise my opposite knee (much like step class) and then switch each time. Unfortunately for me (and other innocent bystanders), I was wearing shorts.
Now, I've been using bikini wax as my favorite form of hair removal since I was a teenager. But the long winter months in Chicago had me not caring a bit whether or not things were ship shape. So all I kept thinking as I stepped up and raised my knee was, "I hope everything is tucked away down there and there aren't any surprises for potential audiences around me." I simply refer to it as "Fangorn." For those of you who could care less about the Lord of the Rings, you'll have no clue. It's a dense forrest that is believed to harbor scary things. Hence my reference to it.
I have decided that wearing long pants would be more suitable at this point. And it would improve my chances of being asked out on a date.
Laser hair removal definitely is something I want to look into. All you girls out there can just give me a big fat "AMEN"!!!!
I do realize that this particular story that I've shared might frighten people, but I'm working on being vulnerable and honest no matter the cost. They say that makes the best comedy.

Ticketed

This sunday I walked to my car for the first time in two days. And what did my eyes see? My car adorned in orange and white paper. Two tickets awaited my arrival on my driver-side window. Seriously, that was totally unnecessary.
I am a poor sad soul who allowed my Texas Registration sticker to expire. Now why the heck would any police officer from Illinois care that my TEXAS registration sticker had expired? I will leave the officer's name confidential but all I can say is DESPERATE to make QUOTA!
People are out and about in Wrigleyville enjoying the Cubs play the Mets. The police officers are also out and about enjoying the festival of tickets that they have waited so long to hand out. It's like the City of Chicago awaits Cub season so they can raise all sorts of money from poor souls like me! Two tickets within 24 hours of eachother...by the same person! Like I can do anything about a TEXAS registration sticker on a saturday or sunday. Give me a BREAK!!!
I'm working on it! I'm definitely contesting one of the tickets. I couldn't sleep last night because I kept dreaming police officers were stalking my car and adorning it with their equivolent of crate paper to a cheerleader. Not that I have anything against police officers. I greatly appreciate their hard work and their commitment to keeping all of us safe out there! They do indeed put their lives in danger by protecting us. But how is a registration ticket a danger? Don't answer that.
As I told my dad this morning, it just makes me want to be married so that someone can take care of me and certain areas of life that I tend to want to pass over or procrastinate on. Like getting the oil changed. Or someone to point out that I need to have my tires rotated because the tread is wearing thin. Like I have a clue about those things. All things cars just stress me out!
So I am $100 poorer but a whole world wiser. Thanks but I don't want to have to learn this lesson again...and again...and again.
I'm applying for a mail order groom who likes to take care of cars and leaks in the roof...oh and great when it comes to taxes and money. Leave me to the relationships and nurturing. Heck, I'll even cook!

Sprng Eternal: A Lunch Break Epiphany

Spring signifies a time of renewal and transformation. It does indeed! Yesterday as I was walking along Michigan Avenue I was overwhelmed by the warmth of the sun on my face and hoped that my hybernating freckles would finally appear. People walked a little slower, filled their lungs with fresh air and forgot their troubles momentarily.
I was almost giddy as I walked along the tulip lined street of the Magnificent Mile. It was as if they were about to burst into the air to greet the world. Green fragile leaves are peeking out from the stems that once encased them. It is like they are stretching and yawning from a long winter. The buzz of the people and the music of the birds filled the air.
It was enough to make me want to hug the silver robotic man on the corner of Chicago and Michigan. I wanted to hi-five the lady dressed in a business suit and running shoes. I wanted to yell to the cab driver honking his way through the busy street that I loved him! I was waiting for everyone to break out into song and dance as if we were starring in a musical.
There's hope of life renewed and the desire for transformation in all forms of life. It's amazing what spring can do.

Sweet Lovin': A Story of Passion & Betrayal

It is a love that has blossomed over the past few years. A love that has brought me much joy, satisfaction and happiness. Never could I have imagined my relationship with these two men to be so wonderful and so wrong at the same time.
Ben and Jerry. Their love surprised me one night at a grocery store. I looked through the pane of glass and my heart quickened. I began to read the characteristics of their gifts and an addiction was born. An addiction that still haunts me to this very day.
When I was training for a marathon there was so much joy in our relationship. They were a reward for my hard work, sweat and determination. I was in my own Utopia. They were my opium. Nothing could go wrong. They were a foundation built of rock in my life. If I was lonely, they were there. If I was joyful, they were there. If I was angry, they were there. And if I was bored, they were there. A pattern that could do no wrong. No wrong until I stopped my obsessive physical exertion. That's when the betrayal began.
What kind of betrayal you ask? The worst of it's kind. I gave them nothing but attention and consistent quality time. No they did not run away; instead they stuck to me like a listerine strip sticks to the roof of your mouth. A permanent nuisance to my once ideal life. Is this revenge? I don't understand why.
No matter how I try to turn my eyes or ignore my thoughts, I just cannot have enough of them. Even yesterday they got the best of me. Am I doomed to fail daily?
I sat there praying that I would have the strength to walk away. I found myself asking God for my favorite flavor to be missing from shelves of the Jewel frozen section. And I said, "If it is there, then that must mean that you want me to give into this animal-like behavior." And there as I rounded the corner, I saw it. "Everything But the..." staring me right in the face. I asked, "God, is this you?" Silence. "That must mean that You want me to have this." He replied, "Don't even bring me into this! You have the power to SAY NO!"
Oh treacherous deceit! They thwarted me into letting my guard down and moved quickly to devour my strenth. I gave in once again. AND IT SURE WAS GOOD!

Measuring Up

I think it's safe to say that I've had the same 2 bras for the past six years. Only now are they starting to wear a little. I am a little surprised that they lasted this long. The secret is to hang dry the lingerie. Normally I'm too impatient to do this but you don't mess around with a good bra.
Wednesday I thought it might be a good idea to try something new and different. I innocently walked into Vicky Secret's with my roommate to "just look around." Suddenly I was approached by a woman with a tape measure around her neck worn like a scarf. Yikes! I've seen one of these a little too recently.
She kindly asked if I was looking for anything in particular. I asked if she would point me in the direction of the bras. She said, "Have you been measured recently." I wanted to shout, "Yes! And it wasn't pleasant. My hips are not at a happy stage at the moment." But I refrained. Instead I said, "No, but I don't think I'm ready to be measured."
"But you need to be measured every 6 months. 9 out of 10 women wear the wrong sized bra."

"Yes, I can see that, but I'm not at a place right now, physically, that I want to be measured."

"Oh, you're wanting to lose weight?"
(thank you captain obvious!)

"Exactly. I'm just now coming out of winter hybernation."

"Most women gain weight over the winter and that's why you need to be measured every 6 months."

"Well, I don't want to be measured! Why buy a bra that's going to be too big for me in one month!" Plus I'm a risk taker! I might just buy a bra and not know for sure the right size. I'm crazy!
Why may I ask did I have to be accosted in a safe environment like Victoria's Secret? I thought women understood women. Apparently not. I mean, if I wanted to get measured, I'd go to the doctor or back to Brad to be completely humiliated. I was waiting for a "you're a little larger around the rib cage but you could use a training bra in the cup." NO THANK YOU!

A Bachelor Obsession

I didn't mean to do it. It wasn't in my plans. Perhaps it was a force stronger than myself that led me to turn on ABC last night to catch the last 40 minutes of The Bachelor. All I can say is, DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA!!!!!
I missed too much of it to really know the new cast but I caught enough of it to know that it's going to be one vicious season. All the more fun to watch!
We had an office meeting this morning in the hallway between the cubicles to discuss these important topics: 1) Who is the mole? and 2) What the heck was that with poor sweet Katie?!!
Let's start with topic #1: It seems to be a concensus in the office that it's Jenny S. Gorgeous in her own right, she's not the pageant queen/cover model the rest appear to be. Good for her! Also, she has quite a bit in common with the bachelor. So, hmmmm. We shall see.
Onto topic #2: As a Katy, I must ask, "Why is it always the Katie's of this world that get picked on, picked over, and cast to the side?!" Hello! She's totally adorable and a worthy competitor if you care to know my opinion.
Also, a guy should NEVER give advice to another guy about women. If the "host" had been a woman, Katie would have stayed on and never known she wasn't wanted. I was yelling at the t.v. and secretly waiting for Jesse to turn to Chris and say "I really wanted to give you the rose." And for Chris to reply, "Finally! I thought no one would ever notice me!"
And really, why must Chris say "Jesse, Ladies, this is the last rose" for every rose ceremony. DUH! I think we can see that and the women have been counting down the roses since the first one was handed out. He gets paid for this?!!!
And why do I care so much about this? I have no idea. And did you see the previews for the season? Two words: CAT FIGHT!

Humiliation at its Finest

It's that time of year again. The time of year when you look at yourself in the mirror for the first time in 6 months and wonder "How in the world am I going to fit into last years' bikini?" You begin having visions of yourself being arrested on the beach for indecency and the lack of discretion for wearing such a thing when you're not "physically fit" enough. Why can't America be like Italy? You see great grandmothers, obese men and women and everyother body type wearing bikinis and speedos. No one gawks horrifically at someone who has a patch of cellulite on the thighs and turns to their friend to say, "No one who looks like that should wear a bikini!" Personally, I think that's just insecurity speaking. Or maybe I am facing trial for comments like those that I spoke years ago.
Enough with that rampage. I faced a humiliating reality last week when I went to the gym to have my "physical accessment" done. Now as someone who has prided herself on great physical fitness and muscular tone, the 5 month Chicago winter has hit me like a chicago-style pizza in the thighs.
Sweet Brad, my trainer. 23 year old, just out of college Brad had the opportunity to squash my pride to the size of a nanoatom-molecularproton-amoeba thing. Lucky him. At 6am on a Monday morning he pointed towards a certain object against the wall and looked on with horror and disbelief. How could I weigh that much?!!!!!! Then came the torcher utensils. Plyer like tong things that pinch your skin and tell you how fat you are.
Three areas where most women develop insecurities:

1)The back of the upper arm.
2)The side of the stomach that rolls when you bend sideways to pick up something off the floor.
3)The abdomen directly next to the belly button that is often mutilated by the indention of pants zippers.

Not once, not twice, but three times did these areas of my body have to be pinched! Picture this:
Brad on his knees with my shirt lifted above my belly button while he takes his two fingers to grab my belly button and the skin beside only to squeeze it with this sharp tong-like object. Run on sentence...for a moment of time that kept running on.
One would think that I would be motivated enough after that humiliating incident. But no! Last night I had a gourmet shmorgasbord of fine foods at a friends house. And did I watch what I ate? Well I sure did watch the food disappear from the table and into my mouth in record like speed. I almost couldn't breath. Good times.
Learn from me. Learn from my mistakes. And live happily!

Urban Chic

Sometimes I can be known for my impulsive shopping sprees. But this one was no fault of mine. I have to blame it on Spring. Yes, Spring, as in the season. I knew something was amiss when my entire office went out on a shopping venture for our lunch break on Friday. We have been bitten by the bug. The bug that makes us long for something new and adventurous. No doubt the fact that we are so sick of wearing our coats and sweaters for sixth months in a row has a little something to do with this. But it was not clothes that I was after on a warm and sunny saturday morning. I wanted transportation!
Spring often lends itself to nostalgia in my little world. I could almost hear the ice cream trucks, sprinklers spraying, the sound of the community pool and a tennis match playing in the background while I nap on the couch. It also made me think of days of old when I would ride my bike with my dad to a local diner and we didn't worry about the potential danger an environmentally conscious person could face on the road.
So what did I do when I passed a neighborhood bicycle shop? I went in of course. I was also attracted to the "Super Sale" sign grandly displayed on the outside of the store.
I walked out of there with an Urban Chic bike. It's nothing fancy and definitely not decked out, but it's cool enough. I even had a rack put on the back so that I can go to the grocery store. It is commuter friendly and stylish. How hip I must have looked as I had a saddle bag filled with groceries riding down Halsted. Let's hope there was little resemblance to the wicked witch that taunted Dorothy and Toto. I can almost hear the song in my head. Oh God, please no.
So now I am officially Urban Chic. I am free from the dependency on a car. I can ride my bike anywhere I may choose and not have to worry about parking. That's freedom. And I'll save a few bucks too due to the rising prices of gasoline.
I keep trying to remember my bicycle safety class in second grade. I even whipped out a hand signal yesterday at a stop sign. I do remember some of the things I was taught in my youth!
Freedom on the road. That's me.

Morning Breath Commute

As I sat on the el this morning, I had an epiphany. This was in no way a self-propelled realization. Instead it was forced upon me by a sudden waft of an unidentifiable odor. But as it came in and out like waves on a shore, I studied it and came to a conclusion. Morning Breath. Please, is it really necessary to open your mouth everytime you beathe? If it is, a nice brush before the morning commute would be nice. If not for your own well-being and the well-being of your teeth, then for the good of all those who are forced to ride along with you on this journey. There are different kinds of odors that can be caused by this olfactory damaging disease we like to call "halitosis." There is the, "I just had cereal and milk but was too lazy to brush my teeth" odor. We can't forget the most well known of all, the "I had to have my morning coffee on the way to work while I read my paper" breath. Some opt for the "I was running late for work and forgot to brush my teeth and didn't have time to change my underwear" aroma.
You see, these are the things I ponder as I ride to work. The first half of the ride I look out longingly at the bright blue sky and the chirping birds. The second half I am resolved to think due to the tunnel effect. I have to be careful not to think too much or I will be overcome by claustrophobic-like symptoms.
All in all, I will probably have much to say about my commute to and fro. It provides me much amusement.

Paris & London

GOD IS GOOD
Just a short note to those of you who have been praying. I arrived in Paris safely!! I was in a cabin with 3 girls...2 from Boston and one from Chile. I am staying in a hotel room with the Boston girls, which is a huge blessing. Tomorrow I fly to London because it is cheaper than the train. And I will get to hang out with Becky in a couple of days up in Oxford. Never been there and should be great. I will write more soon. This is a record of the shortest email from me yet...french keyboard. I love this city!! and yes, for those of you who were wondering, you do get hit on more when you dont travel with a guy. That's not necessarily a good thing.

Valencia

LIVIN’ LA VIDA LOCA
Yesterday I was thinking that there´s really not much interesting to write to you guys. But, with Trey´s help, there´s a little juice to this email. Barcelona was hard to leave. I really could have stayed there longer, but alas, other countries were calling my name. We did have dinner with a friend of Brandom´s who is from Barcelona. Gemma was really sweet and it was fun to talk with a local. Thanks Brandom.
We next headed off to the resort town of Valencia on the east coast of Spain. It is pronounced Valenthia in Catalyn. It´s kind of funny listening to them talk because they all sound like they have lisps. They replace the c´s and some s´s with "th" sounds. For example, ¨"Thay, what´th been happening lately with you guyth? Are you cooking with Worthethire thauthe? The Thun ith Thining over Than Franthithco." Interesting. Valencia was nice and my favorite part was just walking around the place. We took a more scientific exploration of this city. They have a huge oceanography, science and history, and hemisphere museum. The best part was the architecture of the place...pretty cool. We saw a dolphin show at the oceanography center which is like a much smaller version of Sea World. It was a nice change of pace. We also went to the beach. The beach provides such fun people watching for avid people watcher´s like me. I saw two very "close" couples as I was getting out of the water. I looked closer and they were popping each others pimples on their backs. Hello! That´s gross. I´m really not into that although I know some of you are....no names mentioned. So romantic. Anyways, the beach was sandy and the water warm. That night we ate at a great Italian restaurant that looked more like a wine cellar lit with candels...kind of fun. Trey decided he wanted to go hear some music. We walked down a few streets that have some really amazing looking bars. They are all unique and have a great atmosphere. Trey heard latin music coming from one and thought that would be a good place to stop. Of course I observed that the window was covered and that the door didn´t let you see inside. I atomatically thought...gay club or strip joint. I kept my thoughts to myself. So he waved me in and all I see is 5 guys...hmmm, a little fishy. But the music is fun so we stay. We sit down as trey drinks his beer and over his shoulder I spot something different. A little of the paraphenalia on the door leads me to a very decisive conclusion. It´s a gay bar. As I begin to look around and see rainbow flags and then two guys dancing, my observations are confirmed. I had to laugh and I'm sure the guys in the place were laughing too. I think we were there all of 15 minutes. But hey, it was festive and the music was great. I mean, how am I supposed to meet a guy if Trey brings me to those kinds of places?!!!
Yes, some of you may be wondering how I have managed living with only 5 pieces of wardrobe. Well, I believe I´ve done very well. I must admit that trying to do laundry only once a week can be a little trying when you sweat a lot. Yesterday I wore the same jeans I had worn the 2 days before and a shirt that was once again recycled from the day before. But knowing the beach was on the agenda, I didn´t care. I didn´t have a beach towel so I laid my clothes on the sand and sat on those. Then we went to the train station to buy our tickets for the next day. I put my clothes on over my wet suit. I looked like I was lactating and had peed in my pants. But, I still walked with my head held high. Such a fashionista!
We just got to Madrid and it is wonderful. I think we are going to see a bull fight tonight and perhaps catch the Charlié´s angel movie tomorrow...such simple joys in life. I hope you all are doing great. I can´t believe I will be home in 10 days....sad but ready at the same time. Once again, God has been taking great care of us. What a huge blessing this trip has been. Still no thought about what I will do when I get home. If you have any ideas or opportunities, I´m listening.

Barcelona

FASHION ISSUE
Katy Orender´s European Fashion Observations (and Criticisms)...so if your not fashion conscious, just scroll down:

1)European men are very fond of the capri pants, mostly cargo Capri´s. But you know what, they can totally pull it off. Now, if I were to see American´s in them in America, I’m not quite sure what affect they would have. Dad, they may be a good alternative to the typical "running suit" if you will.

2)For the women, showing the bra straps is VERY in. But there is a new look out there...clear straps. I must get myself one of these before I come home. Sometimes I see them with fabric flowers sewn onto them.

3)The hair trend:
-for girls, I have seen quite a few longer mullets. I´m not kidding! Too bad I already cut my hair off or I would definitely have one of these...not so much.
-for guys, it’s a twist on the mohawk and it can actually be attractive on some people. It’s slightly longer hair down the middle of your head than on the sides (see David Beckham or The Real World Paris for examples).

Those are pretty much the main differences I’ve seen over here. So I expect to see mullets, mohawks, clear bra straps, and capri pants when I get home. I’m doing my best to keep you all fashionable.

UPDATE: I have a new love for SPAIN!!! Barcelona has to be one of the most fascinating, fun, energetic, and lively cities I´ve been to. I can see why they chose to have the Olympics here. They know how to do things right...air conditioned metro system (need I say more?). We basically took a Picasso and Gaudi tour of the city today. Gaudi is definitely a revered and almost worshiped artist/architect in this city and country. If you come here, be sure to visit the Temple de la Sagrada Familia and the Parc Guelle. It will blow your mind. And Auntie, he was a seriously strong Catholic. The nightlife is wonderful. Of course I am way too old to hit the discotec every night till 2am. I prefer the people watching that La Rambla provides as well as the carnival people. We ate Tapas last night. Interesting...and yet I liked it.
Off to Valencia tomorrow. It´s a town along the East Coast. I have no idea what is there, but then again, do I ever really know where I´m going? I´m sure it will be a new fav. Have I mentioned yet how blessed I am? The Lord is ever faithful and good.

Colmar & Paris

BASTILLE DAY CELEBRATIONS
Where do I begin? I must say that France has taken much more of a warm place in my heart than I had intended. I've really loved it here. Colmar was a quaint little town and not much happening with weekends and major holidays. Trey and I took a mini little train tour of the city (which we had already walked around a billion times looking for a McDonalds). I really was a little bummed about the city until the Bastille (like our July 4th) celebrations started. We went to this concert in this park. They had an older Huey Lewis type in leather pants singing some American tunes in French. The crowd was packed tight and they just sang right along, so did I but in English. Then they had a "guest singer" during one of their songs. Well, he was HOT! That's what I nicknamed him "hot guy." As we watched the end of the concert, "hot guy" happened to be standing right in front of us. Be still my beating heart. Of course I tried to use telepathy and will power to make him turn around and then I remembered I wasn't an X-Men.
After the concert, they gave such a great fireworks show all to some great movie soundtrack songs: ET, Indiana Jones, Titanic, Jurassic Park (makes you want to cry...well at least me b/c I can cry at anything). I just kept thinking how thankful I was that I could be a part of it all. After the fireworks, "Hot guy" came on stage with his band. We later learned his name was Dr. Boost...interesting. Well, you wouldn't believe it but he began singing U2's Beautiful Day and Sunday Bloody Sunday....Hello! Can it get any better? I should think not. And love blossomed in her heart. Now we call him my boyfriend.
We arrived in Paris and low and behold, I open the door to my hostel room and 2 Kanakuk girls walk in. Crazy! One I worked with at K-Extreme (of course I couldn't remember her name...Leslie Garrison ring a bell?). We then went to the Eiffel tower with the rest of France after spending the day at the Pompadeaux (Modern art that few understand and even like) and Notre Dame. We followed the crowd and the Eiffel tower is GORGEOUS when it is lit up at night. We waited and waited and waited for the fireworks, but they were on

French time...aka. running late. We left so we wouldn't miss our curfew and watched them with hundreds of other people from a bridge. They were definitely more grand than Colmar, but Colmar had the fun intimacy (and "hot guy").
Today we went full steam ahead and hit the Eiffel tower, Arc de Triumphe, and the Musee d' Orsay (my favorite). I won't bore you with all I saw there, you'll just have to experience it for yourself. We leave for Barcelona on a night train tonight (yuk!). That was an experience getting tickets. Katy's business lesson for the day: if you can't get it done right the first time, go to someone else. After much prayer, a sweet lady found us two spots on the night train. I really have learned that prayer is huge, God is faithful, and I have no choice but to be at peace. He is in control, He knows our needs, and is faithful to provide.
Okay, a prayer request: my IT Band (that's on the leg) has been killing me and makes walking 8 hours a day very hard. I'm sure it has nothing to do with marathon running...hmmm. Also, Trey's arthritis in his back is bad too. Aren't we quite the super tourists? We are quite the sight limping up and down the Seine river. I am my father's daughter after all. I'd ice it dad, but we're in Europe...ice, what's that? So I pop the IB Profen candy. Well, that's the novel for the day. I hope you enjoy the read and it makes you smile. I love hearing from you guys. You are always so encouraging. Only 2 weeks left. It will fly by so quickly.

Annecy & Colmar

TOUR DE FRANCE
So I was riding a bike the other day and ran into Lance Armstrong...or maybe not. But we were near the city where they were heading to the next day (Lyon). After finally leaving Nice, Trey and I headed up to the most wonderful city I have visited yet. From a suggestion of his cousin, we went to Annecy France. It is a gorgeous little old city with cute old streets filled with families and old shops. They also have a little area that reminds me of a cleaner and smaller Riverwalk in San Antonio. We also ended up staying in a 3 star hotel that was cheaper than most places we've stayed. I got to be a princess for a couple of nights.
The next morning we decided to rent bikes and ride along a bike path that goes right around Lake Annecy. The lake is a gorgeous clear Turquoise and is surrounded by the Alps (hello! gorgeous! wish you were here...a little quote by Meg in French Kiss) I absolutely loved it and was awed by the beauty of God's creation. I think I kept talking about how gorgeous it was and Trey was finally like "I know!"
Anyway...so we were riding along and I heard someone whistle behind me and of course I knew that they just had to be checking out my butt and that they couldn't help but whistle. Then I realized before it was too late that he just wanted me to move so he could get by. Such is life! We decided to rent a boat for half an hour and just tour around the lake. Seriously, people were paddle boating by us faster than the boat was going full throttle. I did jump in and it was what I like to call "refreshing." Later I realized that sunscreen probably would have been a brilliant idea as well as some bodyglide. My buns were a little tender from 45 km of bike riding. If I had a billion dollars I would fly my whole family out here for a family reunion. It is the ideal spot for relaxation and adventure: sailing, windsurfing, beach volleyball, biking, hiking, beaches, shopping, good food, just wonderful! oh, and golf too.
We are now in the small city of Colmar located on the border of France and Germany. It has the most beautiful mix between German and French Architecture. It is almost like you're in a Disney World set for Hansel and Grehtel (however you spell it, I'm not German). Note to self: avoid small towns on Sundays and major holidays if that's when you plan to do your major sightseeing. Unfortunately all buses to the vinyards aren't running today...classic.
We leave for a couple days in Paris tomorrow before heading to Barcelona. I am learning so much about myself...just like I asked God to do...sometimes I'd rather live in oblivion. I love seeing the Lord in His creation and I am just awed by His great love for us and His people all over the world. So amazing!! Sorry for the novel but there's always so much to talk about.

Cannes

DUMB & DUMBER IN CANNES
A movie Script entitled Dumb and Dumber Do Cannes, by Katy Orender, starring...Yours truly, Katy Orender and the always famous Trey Bowles.
Plot: Trey and Katy have been hanging out way too long in Nice (the accomodations and atmosphere are too wonderful for words) so they decide to take a day long excursion to Cannes...by scooter (a suggestion from Brooke).
They rent a little 50cc scooter from Always Rentals at 10 in the morning. (I think my brothers dirt bike goes faster than this thing). With high hopes and swift dreams they mount the bike and head for Cannes (with helmets that make them look like mushrooms). Katy has to drive because Trey decided not to bring his drivers license to Europe. Besides nearly wrecking before even giving it gas, they still had high hopes. Little did Katy know that having someone about 200 pounds on the back of a little scooter would cause problems. She kept saying things like "Trey, you're too heavy, too heavy!" Now Trey is seeking therapy. Finally they breeze through the traffic (okay, so not breeze b/c Katy is a little intimidated by the french driving). They aim to stay near the water so as to avoid the nasty highway. They realize things don't look too good as a granny with a walker is passing them. The little motor that could, just couldn't go fast enough. So with the hopes of avoiding the highway, the find themselves right in the middle of it with 18 wheelers blowing past them on each side. I guess the 50km/hr wasn't good enough for the autobahn. Really, these kids were crazy. With near tears in her eyes, Katy summoned up the courage to make it those 17 KM of near death experience.
After a break on the beach in Cannes (there's nothing to do there) they headed back. This time, Trey took the reigns. They enjyed the uninterrupted trip by beach strip home to Nice. Katy felt like Bridget Jones as she went on Holiday with the filthy Daniel. Later when Katy saw her reflection in the mirror, she realized they looked more like Ponch and John on CHIPS. The way home was much more enjoyable and the sights were gorgeous (many yachts and boats). Praising the Lord, Katy was glad to be alive and at home (she nearly kisses the ground as they arrive). God is good is He not??? Seriously!! Glad to be alive.
Mom and dad, you are so blessed your daughter is still here today! Alas, Dumb and Dumber walk off into the sunset.

Nice

NICE
I have to be in one of the most beautiful places in the world. It's got that perfect mixture of mountains and beach. It looks a bit like Santa Monica California (so I hear). Whatever...it's gorgeous. My friend (more like Trey's friend), Brooke Blackwood, lives right off the beach in a great little flat. We have definitely been spoiled. Leaving Cinque Terra, we caught a train to Nice. I think all of Italy was on that train. Trey and I stood in one of the little exit areas along with 6 other people and our luggage. Quite interesting, but what can you do? After 1 1/2 hours, we finally found some seats after spying them out and making the kill once the people left. We thought we were in the lap of luxury until 45 minutes later the train stopped and every one got off...trey and I not quite sure what was happening. So, we followed the crowd and boarded a bus we hoped was heading to Nice (it could have been going to a concentration camp for all we knew...or cared).
We arrived salty, sweaty, and beggin' for a shower. We ate at our usual time of 10:30pm and polished it off with some gelato (I am going to have to go to Gelatoholics Anonymous when I get home). The next day we went to old town Nice where they had markets set up everyone, so festive and fun. Then we hit the gorgeous beach. The water is so crystal blue and completely refreshing (if not a little cold). The beach is made of tiny pebbles that give your foot a tiny massage as you walk (or more like acupuncture). Getting into the water would make even the most graceful person (me) look like a 1 year old just beginning to walk on their own. You have to slide down a little hill and plunge into the water before falling on your face. Then we just watched Trey kill one of the numerous jelly fish with rocks. He was entertained for a good hour. Good for him. We were laying out talking by the water when this sudden huge wave came and soaked all of us and our stuff. I guess the tide came in. I felt like I was living a "Deep Impact" moment when i saw what seemed like a 50 foot wave...slight exaggeration. Unfortunately my Oakleys (that have been with me for over 5 years) were swept away into the sea. Rest in Peace my friend.
That night we went to Wayne's Bar after eating a very sorry attempt at Mexican Food (never try to eat Mexican when you're in Europe). It's an English speaking bar packed with Aussies', Americans, Scots, etc. It was fun listening to the band, but I could have done without the girls dancing on the tables and spilling wine on my head numerous times. Now I remember why I don't like going to bars. Plus some guy decided to do cartwheels in the already to packed walkway. I also was hit on by some Scottish guy who I couldn't understand a word of. I just replied with a big fat "NO." He quickly got the point and walked off.
I've been enjoying some girl time with Brooke. We actually took the time to look at jewelry. Trey...not so interested. We will be here for another day or so and then head somewhere else interesting. We may just take out the map, close our eyes, and go wherever my finger lands. So exciting. I hope you enjoy living vicariously through my emails. Thanks for replying I love hearing how you all are doing. Don't know French so much and go around with a dumb look on my face. Those stupid Americans!

Milan & Cinqueterra

TRAILBLAZERS
Things have definitely improved since I last wrote. We spent only one night in Milan, saw the Duomo and headed out. If you ever go there, the highlight is climbing to the top and seeing everything...including the alps in the distance.
Cinque Terra has definitely been a great retreat. The view from the bathroom is the best part. Why is it that the best views are usually from the bathroom window? You can see the water crashing against the rocks...gorgeous! The weather is perfect...I even wore a light jacket 2 nights in a row (I never realized how the weather can change my moods...so unfortunate).
Yesterday we decided to take a rest and hiked 7 miles through all five cities...not so much a rest. But it was gorgeous. My pictures will never do it justice. After feeling like I was training for an everest climb, we saw acres after acres of vineyards built into the side of the mountains. It was such a refreshing change from duomos and michelangelos (not that I dislike those). We frolicked on the beach today and are heading to Nice in an hour.
We are staying with a girl that went to high school with us so that will be great. I have learned many things about myself and Trey on this trip. A list of things that Trey does not like:
1) Listening to girls use the bathroom
2) Girls picking wedgies
3) Anything having to do with thong underwear
4) Basically anything that girls have to deal with
How am I supposed to travel and not do any of these things?
Well, he will just have to learn to deal. We have no idea where we will be going after Nice. The world is an open field of adventure. Sometimes that’s great and sometimes it's daunting. I have definitely been very blessed. I love hearing from you all! It is so encouraging to get emails. Hugs to all!!

Florence & Venice

LAND OF THE MOSQUITOES
Alas I have left the mosquito infested city of Florence. To my dismay, we arrived in Milan after the wonderful city of Venice to read an article that mosquitos are worse here than anywhere and that it has been the hottest June in Italy since 1790. No kidding!! Boy can I pick the time to travel southern europe. We saw so many amazing things in Florence. Michelangelos David, Boticelli's Birth of Venice and Primavera at the Uffizi, the Dome designed by Brunelleschi, Ghiberti's Baptism doors, etc. I think we hit 3 museums and one Duomo all in a matter of 7 hours. That night we got to enjoy Florence. Such a fun and festive city at night. Street artists, great food and gelato line every street. I prayed for rest that night, a cool breeze to come into the room, and that all the mosquitos would be dead. God is good because He answered all of those. We had serious words before I went to bed...pleading for God's mercy from the heat!!
We took off for Venice and stayed at the most incredible hostel I have EVER seen. It was like a dorm and was the most efficient place. I think we were the only Americans there and all the girls in my room were from Germany. Their language has a barn yard sound...muck, muck, muck, muck (I really don't think that, that is just for you Guffman fans). We saw the many mosaics of the Byzantine Basilica of San Marco, listened to the battle of the bands in San Marco square (Andrea Botticelli, Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables...Dad, you would be in paradise). We tried to ride a gondala but they charged and arm and a leg so we settled for the ghetto ride on boat #82. It is gorgeous at night. The end is kind of like seeing the back doors of Disney World...interesting. I also saw the Peggy Guggenheim Museum filled with her modern art collection...HEAVEN! I really tried to discuss it with trey but he just wasn't interested like me. I had to bite my tongue and hold discussions in my head...so sad.
When we were in line for the Basilica, we met a couple who worked at Kanakuk this summer. They just got engaged the night before on a Gondala...now that's what I call an engagement story! How fun is that! Enough boring stuff for you. I am doing great, loving it here, and have to remind myself..."I'm in Venice, or Milan, or Rome." So exciting! I miss you all and thanks for your many prayers. I can feel them all the way over here!
p.s. Beckles you'll enjoy the fact that one of the hostel owners in Amalfi reminded me of Puck from the Real world.

Planes, Trains & Automobiles

PLANES, TRAINS & AUTOMOBILES
That is the Title of the last portion of my trip. I wish I had more time to write but we have an appointment to see Michelangelos David here in Florence. Yippee! I miss being surrounded by so much art. I just wished I remembered what I used to know. Such is life. When I last left you I was in Capri. We got to see the Grotta Azzura. It was more of a Disney Ride than anything. It is absolutely gorgeous and worth the money but swimming after hours is the best bet. I think I already told you this. Well, we hiked around Capri with our backpacks leaving puddles of sweat trailing us in case we lost our way. We saw so many gorgeous views that if I wasn't sweating so bad, I could actually see them. We hopped on a ferry to the beautiful city of Sorrento. We were only there for a couple of hours before we took a bus ride along the Amalfi Coast. It is so severely beautiful. It is a small winding road along a cliff side. I am glad I am not afraid of heights. We met a nice couple, James and Kristy, they suggested we should stay at this place they stayed in Amalfi. So, why not! Mistake number 1. After 2 hours of waiting for the people to pick us up, we finally got to the hostel location...so we thought. With our fat backpacks on, we got to hike up 378 steps straight up...literally. Buns of Steel has nothing on me!!! The sight was gorgeous until I saw where we were staying. It was literally a cave, a big hot cave!! No showers for us. Note to self, never stay at a place called Big Willies. I did get to sleep one foot away from a snoring Australian named Peter. Did I say sleep? No, I don’t think I slept whatsoever. Around 7 am we headed out of that hell hole straight to Pompeii. We joined a tour filled with British couples. I loved it! So much art, architecure and many cultures coming together. The highlight was a trip to the GS Supermercato. I felt right at home there. We went back to Rome and stayed with Sarah and Roberto. They make me laugh my head off. We were tempted to stay longer but we must keep moving. We saw everything in Rome. St. Peters will take your breath away. It-s a must see for everyone. I must go. We are in Florence, finally! After a train ride and a hike to find an open hotel, we are staying in a small sauna with a mosquito farm in the room. I miss air-conditioning. Pray that it cools off here before I melt away...literally. Thanks for putting up with the long emails! I love hearing from you and care about you all so much. Your prayers are precious and much needed. I am loving it here and can't believe it has actually happened. Praise the Lord (PTL)
p.s. Dad, the places I've stayed makes Tre Api (Aka Tre Crapi, look like the Grand Wailea in Hawaii)

Capri

I made it to the Naples train station with no problem. It was nice to sit and not think about anything for an hour or so. I was also thankful to have that backpack off my back. Note to self: next time get the one with the wheels (dad, I know you tried). All I had from my friend Trey was that he would be at the station around 4 or 5pm. I waited and waited and waited and wondered if I was going to have to spend the night in that hell hole. After much prayer and turning down guys named Antonio who offered to help me, Trey miraculously showed up at 6:30. We quickly hopped in a taxi (too expensive but we were both so elated we didn’t care). We found ourselves next on a ferry to Capri and it was gorgeous! A man from a little hostel (Busso di Hermes...we affectionately call it herpes) picked us up and took us up treacherous roads to this cute little place. we slept in bunk beds in a room with 3 girls from jersey. Ignoring the mosquitos and intense heat (and Robin’s snoring) i had a great night of sleep. Today we got breakfast from a market (we're cheapos) and went to the Grotto Azzura. Beatiful, I wish we were staying long enough to swim in it. I also hit the nostalgic old place where I went 6 years ago. Of course it brought back memories of my island romance with Carmine (nothing steamy there). I think we are heading towards Sorrento/Amalfi coast and then to Florence. We are definitely vagabonds in the best of sense. Thank you all for you fun responses. I will email you individually when I can. Thanks for your many prayers. I sure have needed them.