Fish Out of Water

Saturday night after seeing a terrible sketch show at Chicago's Sketch Fest, I had planned on going home and cleaning my apartment. I could hardly wait to use the Oreck vacuum. But as usual, I was lurred away from my cleaning plans by an opportunity to hang out with friends. Ashley had called and I ended up going to her apartment before we met a friend of hers. It took her two hours to get ready, TWO! Had I known that I wouldn't be going out until after 11 pm I would have headed home. Whatever, it was good to see a friend and glad I did it.

The awkward moments didn't start until I heard where we were headed. John Barleycorn. Did you not hear me? JOHN BARLEYCORN! Gag, eww, psh, blah, blech....John Barleycorn. This place was definitely not my style. I prefer to sit in a quieter place where you can listen to music and talk with your friends. This mega bar is more of a meat market. Granted its not nearly as bad as say, Cherry Red, but still gag, eww, psh, blah, blech. Now Ashley is much more experienced in this world. She works at Rockit Bar for goodness sake. She was definitely in her element. I on the otherhand was just following her around and gathering up the strength not to run out of there.

First of all, Ashley was dressed in her going out clothes: sparkly top, new jeans, heels and a faux fur jacket. I of course was dressed to go play flag football: black shirt, jeans, sneakers and a puffy green jacket (note that I was supposed to go home and vacuum). She looked ready for going out and I looked like sporty spice...the lesbian looking one. I just sang of insecurity! Secondly, Ashley new how to work the room. She got her trademark Effen Black Cherry and Soda drink and surveyed the room. She asked if I wanted to do a walk through. "A WHAT?!!" "A Walk through. You know, walk through the room and check out everyone." "Yeah, I gathered that one." NO I DON'T WANT TO DO A WALK THROUGH. I WANT TO DO A RUN HOME! But I followed her around anyway. I made sure I made no eye contact with anyone. Lord, Why am I single? Anyway, we made our way upstairs to the dance floor. I was so cheesed out by everything around me. I couldn't help but pull out my trademark moves: the robot and anything that made me laugh at myself. Why do people take themselves so seriously? I think we were upstairs for all of 4 minutes. We came back downstairs and met up with her friend and thankfully Jason (fellow Second City classmate) showed up. See Jason, I mentioned you in my blog. I didn't get home until 2 am. I still have yet to vacuum.