Anniversary

Sunday marked my three year anniversary here in Chicago. I celebrated by throwing a work event for over 10,000 people. It reminded me of how far I've come since I left on a 15 hour road trip with my dad three years ago. So much has happened in those three years. I've been blessed with great opportunities, wonderful friends and unforgettable memories. I thought it might be fun to highlight opportunities I've had since picking up my life and moving to Chicago.

1. Road trip with Dad
2. Slept on Kathie's couch for 4 months
3. Celebrated and mourned with the Cubs loss to the Marlins - Bartlett ball incident
4. Met Joss Stone
5. Got a great job, new roommates and an apartment all in ONE day
6. Ran 2 half marathons
7. Completed a sprint triathalon
8. Trip to Hawaii
9. Brother, Patrick, got married to Alicia
10. Erin & Chris had a baby
11. Best friend, Beckles, got married
12. Auditioned for the Second City Conservatory & got in!
13. Graduated from the Second City Conservatory
14. Made life-long friends from Second City
15. Finished the iO improv training program
16. Performed with Quick!Paddle!! at iO
17. Performed with Sable (my first improv show ever)
18. Auditioned and got cast in "Generation X-Communication"
19. Performed with friends in "Mockupations"
20. Asked to perform at House of Blues with Rebirth
21. First audition for a play and CAST!
22. One minute part in a seven minute play - "The Resignation"
23. Picked up Gary Hall Jr. from the airport
24. Learned to flyfish with my dad and patrick in Montana
25. Family trip to Vancouver
26. Climbed the Grouse Grind
27. Lost 20 pounds
28. Gained 20 pounds
29. Had many unsuccessful blind dates
30. Turned 30 and had my whole family celebrating with me
31. Skiing with my family in Breckenridge, Colorado
32. Went to Stacey, Rachel, Katherine and Lindsay's Weddings
33. Shook Harold Ramis' hand and talked to him about Second City
34. Re-introduced Chris & Marissa who ended up getting married
35. Bought a couch and oversized chair
36. Got numerous parking tickets
37. Part of the greatest small group ever
38. Live with my cousin, Jessie
39. Learned that I don't like beer but like a good Cider
40. Discovered Potbellies
41. Attended 2 plays at Steppenwolf with Helen
42. Met most of Chicago's top CEO's
43. Passed by Scott Speedman on Dearborn St.
44. Found the love of my life - "Dancing with the Stars"
45. Bonding with Auntie
46. Cubs games with roommates, dad, work, Ashley and Drewbie
47. Becky, Wendy, Katherine, Dow, Bunny, Marissa and Courtney visit me
48. Family Reunion in Myrtle Beach
49. Laser Hair Removal!!!
50. Discovered D'Agostino's thin crust extra sauce cheese pizza. mmmmm good.

I'm going to stop at 50. I think that's a good number. I am blessed beyond words and comprehension. So much can happen in three years. I took a risk by leaving everything I knew and look how much I've been able to do with my life. Three years passed by so quickly. I wouldn't change a thing. I want to make the most of the time that I have here.

I know that there are many things that I've failed to mention or momentarily forgotten. Please feel free to add any memories you've had with me over the last three years. I'd love to hear them!

Weekend with the Ladies

Last weekend I had the honor and privilege to spend a couple of days with some of the most incredible women I know. My mom, her three sisters and a cousin came to Chicago for a girls weekend. What a fabulous idea! I can't wait to do that with my sisters!














This picture is only slightly posed.

We stayed downtown at the Hotel Intercontinental. They put us in three rooms that basically connected together. I felt like I was at camp...a plush camp for women over the age of 50...and loved it! We sat around in our robes late at night and early in the morning drinking coffee, laughing and telling stories. I began to see how each woman is unique and how they all have different personalities. Aside from the fact that they look like they could be quadruplettes, their intracacies came out. But the wonderful thing is to see how they all fit together to make an incredibly loving and entertaining family. I haven't laughed this hard in months!

We saw my midnight show (I'm proud of you ladies for staying up until 2am!), ate long meals at amazing restaurants, shopped til we dropped and of course saw Menopause the Musical! The audience for Menopause the Musical was rowdy! I've never heard so many Amen's and applause of recognitions. These women have a secret club and only they know the lingo. It's fabulous.

They made me feel so loved and a part of the crew. They made me excited to grow older because they have such a zest for life. I hope I'm like them when I grow up! I couldn't help but cry when I left them because I would miss them each. But mostly I'd miss the product of the whole.















Lucky for them I've let a week pass me by and have conveniently "forgotten" some of our conversations and mishaps. Feel free to share your stories. I'll be sure to add any I suddenly remember and CAN talk about. My dating life always was a topic of interest. I didn't feel interrogated. They were great about asking questions and giving encouragement. No topic was a taboo topic for these ladies. It was GREAT! Thank you Mom, Mary, Kathy, Beth and Maryanne.

I miss you all already!

Car Troubles

There's nothing like hearing your car has major engine problems to make you want to immediately call your dad to make sure you're not getting scammed. Case in point: My engine light came on and began blinking. That was followed by serious massage like shaking of the car. One inspection and an arm and a leg later my car is driving just dandy.

I just needed to call my dad to make sure that everything was going to be okay. There's a certain vulnerability and lack of independence with anything involving car trouble that makes me feel anxious, but one "it's going to be okay" from dad and I'm fine.

Big Burly Beard

...skinny celebrity.

I had another brush with celebrity today at lunch. This time it was with one of my greatest all time secret celebrity crushes. Becky and I used to watch Felicity religiously and I couldn't get over Ben's soft spoken "hey" and his insecure quiet ways. Those qualities are much more attractive to watch on film than to experience in real life.

Walking down Dearborn Street just south of Wacker I saw a burly bearded skinny man walking towards me and Erin. I didn't recognize the beard but I definitely recognized the eyes. It took me a few moments to place those eyes. Basically I got caught staring and probably had to shut my slackened jaw. He watched us too as we walked by. YES! Sweet victory! I didn't think Erin would recognize him but when I slowly turned my head to tell her who we had just passed I saw that she had the same face as me. Clear recognition.

That made my day. Here's to you Scott Speedman for making my post lunch hours go by quickly! May I run into you again someday soon. Like maybe the Cubs game tonight????

Grey's Anatomy

Please read my cousin, Josh's perfect description of formulaic network television shows. It's good for a laugh yet makes you feel a little ashamed of these guilty pleasures.

Dancing

I'm sorry that I haven't updated much recently. I've been too busy selling my soul so that someday I can compete on Dancing with the Stars. You think I'm kidding.

My favorite competitors this season:

Emmitt Smith: How can you not like a Dallas Cowboy? He's got great skills. He's been labeled "twinkle toes" and I have to agree.

Joey Lawrence: Whoa. He's definitely way metro and his eyebrows look penciled on but he gives it 100% and he's fun to watch. Plus he resembles Mr. Clean.

Jerry Springer: He makes me laugh and he lives in Chicago.

I'm not a big fan of the ladies on this show. I like Sarah Evans because she's a country girl and her face resembles my cousins. I could take or leave the rest of them. Hopefully I'll warm up to the ladies as the season moves forward.

Until then I'll continue smiling as I watch and wishing it was me.

Inspiring Quotes

...from my life. What do they inspire? Laughter and tears.

Spoken while watching a Gap ad: "Skinny black pants is probably the worst news these thighs could possibly hear."

Janell said, "Katy, he's perfect for you. He likes to knit and enjoys doing Civil War re-enactments." My response: "Do you even know me?"

Olympic Encounter

Today was a great day. You may be asking, "Katy, why was it such a great day?" Well I'll tell you. Today I had the honor of picking up Gary Hall, Jr. at the airport. I was his chauffer for the day. Who is Gary Hall? Ummm, hello! Only the second most decorated Olympian of all time! He's the fastest man in the world! In the pool, that is.

He spoke to a school about having type 1 diabetes and how he was told he'd never be able to compete again. That was six years ago and he's won billions of gold medals since. Proved them wrong!

He was quiet and shy until he was in front of the kids. Too bad he's a hottie and also married with an eight month old baby. Will I ever catch a break?!!!

Here's a picture of him with me and my co-worker, Donna.
















He's a giant. And he sat in my car! I'll for sure be cheering him on to compete in the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.

The Removal of Moles and All Dignity

My doctor and the nurses were hilarious. I knew that they were trying to make me feel comfortable and were making sure I wasn't going to pass out as they stuck a needle in my body six times in three different places. After the slight burn of the numbing medicine I was feeling fine. I laid on my back and chatted away about improv, acting, Texas, etc. After the back of my knee and my upper back were finished I was told to flip over.

I made the mistake of telling them that we had to sing in our show. They kept pestering me to sing a song. ME! I had flashbacks of people saying, "Hey, do something funny." I wanted to say, "Excuse me but I don't feel much like singing a song considering you're working on my fully exposed boob and you happen to be stitching up a huge hole!" Maybe I would have worked with them a little more had they given me drugs to numb my mind and not just my body.

SOMETHING OF NOTE: I wore cute panties again to the doctor. This time they had more coverage. To hell with visible panty lines.

Opening Night

Tonight's the night! It's not actually THE opening night. It's more MY opening night. I need to go home and take a big fat nap before the big midnight show. I'm afraid I won't be performing as a whole and complete person. I'll be performing as a woman who is shy three moles and sporting numerous stitches. I'll try to work that into my character. Let's hope her biopsy doesn't show cancer.

Connor on Film

Oh my gosh! I just about died seeing this pictures. I wish I could just kiss those expressive eyebrows. Weird? Wait until you see the pictures!

I saw Connor for a couple of days while I was home in Texas. He's chubby and I like him that way. (Said while crying) I miiss him alreaaaaddddyyyy!

It's Raining Babies!

The skies have opened and I have finally been given permission to post that Patrick and Alicia are having a baby! You know, my brother and sister-in-law! The happy couple in this picture:
















The ones married back in October!

March seems to be the magical month. Like Connor, the little babes is due on my birthday! Okay, so maybe a day later, but I'll just make it easy and say it's on my birthday. Turning 31 this year I will gladly welcome the child on my birthday. I don't think I could have handled it so easily on my 30th birthday. I was young and immature back in those days. Since then I have grown to the maturity level of a 14 year old. My, what leaps and bounds I have made this year!

Three cheers and a double side kick!

That's a Framer!

Some of you have been asking, wondering, pondering, searching, contemplating and justifying why I haven't posted any pictures recently. Truth be told, my camera battery died. I lost my battery charger and just received it in the mail today. So don't fret little ones! There will be pictures soon!

Humble Thyself

Or if you can't humble yourself, God will do it for you. I thought I was just having a bad day yesterday. You know, one of those "I never should have left the house" kind of days. Wearing high heels I had to coordinate carrying a heavy box while using an umbrella and flagging down a taxi. Soaking wet I attended a meeting where I was the featured speaker. Then while unbuttoning my pants to get my laser treatment I found out that they had to cancel it because I'm taking oral antibiotics. Thank you adult acne. My post work trek took me an hour and a half and three modes of transportation. Apparently the CTA was having a tough day as well. I was having one big fat pity party for myself all day yesterday. I knew that my reasons for pouting were weak. But I have PMS! Everything is a personal insult and exaggerated by 234% when you have PMS. Crawling into bed last night I finally said "Yes God, I know, it's not about me. I get it. I GET it."

Apparently He REALLY wanted me to get his point and made sure I recognized it today. Let's just say that I may be sporting a little scab under each eyebrow. Topical creme and eyebrow waxing do not mix. Again, thank you adult acne. I had my own walk of shame from Spa Nordstrom back to the office . Watch this be the week that an agent calls me in to audition or meet the potential love of my life. All I can do is laugh and realize that this will make one funny story...in about 5 months. There is one question that I cannot answer: which is worse? Having Josh Hartnett eyebrows or scabs forming on your eyelids?

Entertainment for the Day

Thanks Beckles!



Don't try this at home, or at least with out tight fitting pants.

An Amazing Story

I am continually in awe and humbled by the story of my friends, Matt and Ginny. They are parents of a little boy, Eliot, who was born with trisomy 18. Most medical facts claim that he shouldn't even have been born alive. Please read their story from the beginning and pray for them. It will break your heart and give you hope at the same time. You'll be amazed by their overwhelming joy even in the midst of trial.

Gap Ad

Does anyone out there remember the remake of Sabrina from the 90's with Harrison Ford and Julia Ormand? Becky, I know you do because you can't stand Julia Ormond.

"But David, he did a Gap ad."

I feel just like her. Because of this:










Yeah, I've had a crush on Aaron Eckhart for a long time. And now look, he's doing Gap ads.

Pleasant Prairie Triathalon

I competed in my first sprint triathalon this Sunday and I finished! I didn't drown, crash or vomit. I call that a good day!

After a late night of conversation and board games with Stefan, our very famous cousin who happens to be a Blue Angel pilot in town for the air and water show, Janell, Jessie and I packed up the car and drove to Wisconsin. We kicked it off with a little City of Blinding Lights by U2 and weaved our way through the Chicago traffic!

The triathalon and the atmosphere associated with it left little to disappointment. Three of us sharing a king sized bed and long lines at the porta-potties were more hilarious than disappointing. I need to give a shout out to the LaQuinta. I've never stayed in such a lovely smoking room. It prepped my lungs for the long race.

I felt proud wearing the black numbers marked on my arms and legs. For a couple hours I was only known as #1039 by everyone but my roommates. I was in the 17th wave and we were issued the purple swim caps. We stood in line hugging our bodies and trying to stay warm. As soon as the whistle blew we ran for the warm water. I was relieved to have my numb fingers and toes warm up but it didn't do much for my goggles. The cold air and warm water caused them to fog up immediately. It was me in a foggy world swimming through green water and seaweed. The swim did nothing for my confidence. Within five strokes I was breathing hard and began to wonder why I didn't practice the swim more than twice...and why the heck didn't I do practice swims in the lake?!!! From then on it was me, God and the breast stroke. I was singing praises at the turn-around point until the sun beamed directly onto the water and caused near blindness ("God, is that you?"). The lifeguards caught me and several others swimming in the direction of oncoming traffic. The kept yelling at us, "left. LEFT!" I couldn't wait to take off the foggy goggles and the swim cap that blocked my hearing. I "fake" ran up the sandy hill after the swim like I wasn't out of breath or anything. Walking fast through the parking lot to my bike (I sure wasn't running) I heard my roommates cheering me on. All I could do was give a weak wave to let them know that the swim nearly killed me but I was still alive.

I couldn't wait to hop on the bike. The bike has quickly become my new favorite sport. You move fast, cover lots of territory and fewer body parts jiggle. I passed a few people from my wave who proved to be better swimmers than me. I finished the 13 mile bike in 43 minutes. It was over before I knew it. After a quick transition I was back out on the running path and waving to my two cheerleaders. It took two miles to get my running legs back but somehow I finished those miles faster than my standard 10 minute mile. I could have cried as I neared the finish-line, not because it was so tough but because I was so thankful that God gave me the legs, arms and health to challenge myself physically. I prayed for strength and He provided.

I finished in one hour and 38 minutes. I figured it would take me 1:45. If I can get my swimming under control and shave some minutes off my transition times I could probably get down to 1:30 or less. I can't wait for my next one! Thanks to everyone for the encouragement and phone calls! Melissa, next year it's you and me babe!

Come One, Come All!

Check it out! It's the promo-pic for Bathroom Talk. It's sure to be a fun show and good times will be had by all. The cast is talented, hilarious and we each bring their own thing to the table.

Ladies, you'll laugh because you'll know what we're talking about.

Gentlemen, consider this research and an opportunity to really know what goes on in women's bathrooms. Do you dare?

Tag...I'm It!

I hate being chased. I'm quick to scream, give up or I charge back at them in a dead sprint. I sometimes wonder what I would do if I were being chased by a Lion. Let's hope I never have to find out. Playing tag was always a nervous pleasure for me.

This kind of tag I actually like. Thanks to my good friend, Kellsey, I've been tagged to list books that have either impacted my life or ones I wish never would have entered it. I'm responding here for your viewing pleasure! You never know, maybe you'll be inspired to read some of these. I know I already gave an exhaustive list of some of my favorite books.

1. One Book that Changed My Life: "Ragamuffin Gospel" by Brennan Manning. This is the first "spiritual" book that actually caused me to respond with prayer. I remember sitting in my bed with all the lights out except for a small lamp and being moved to pray. It's the first time I really got a glimpse of grace. I really could live a life of freedom under the umbrella of grace instead of an anvil of guilt.

2. One Book that You've Read More than Once: Just one? I can only choose one? "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen. Hello, my name is Elizabeth Bennett! I think most women consider themselves an "Elizabeth Bennett." She's one of Austen's more flattering characters. Though you can condemn the fact that she's as prideful as Mr. Darcy. I remember running into my best friends' room and reading allowed my favorite parts. I had to share it with someone! The confession of love! The two proposals! The time they run into each other at his home! Ah, it's too much! Too much!

3. One Book You'd Want on a Desert Island: I'm just going to assume it can't be the Bible. Any good Christian would immediately say the Bible. It would be/and is my one source of truth and sanity. Can it be a series? How about the first two books in Francine Rivers' "Mark of the Lion" series? They're not exactly intellectually stimulating, but they just don't get old! I've never read two books so quickly. I wish I could read them as a "Mark of the Lion" virgin again! Ladies, can I get an Amen? Wait, now I'm questioning myself. How about "Lord of the Rings"? Yes, that too. I might need that to remind myself that the impossible can be possible.

4. One Book that Made You Laugh: "Dress Your Family in Corduroy & Denim" by David Sedaris. His honesty excited me and made me wish I could be that honest. I just don't have his capacity for memories...painful memories. I found myself laughing aloud in public while reading his auto-biographical short stories.

5. One Book that Made You Cry: I again have to say "Lord of the Rings." I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Frodo, Bilbo and their companions. I felt like I had traversed the treacherous terrain and walked their emotional journey along with them. There's great relief and pride in finishing a journey and completing an impossible task. If they had known what they were getting into, they never would have gone. But along the way they were given what was needed to make it to the end alive. Hmmm, sounds similar to life!

6. One Book You Wish Had Been Written: I'm still waiting for my best friend, Becky, to write her auto-biographical short stories. This girl has more stories that will make you laugh! I keep threatening her that I'm going to start writing it if she doesn't. This or my yet to be written coffee table book: "Dating Kissed Me Goodbye."

7. One Book that You Wish Had Never Been Written: "Kiss Dating Goodbye." I never read it and never want to. Don't we have a hard enough time as it is? For the love....

8. One Book That You're Currently Reading: I'm going to cheat here and give you two. One is actually a play by Lanford Wilson. I am performing a two person scene from his play "Serenading Louie" and just finished analyzing the play. It's a fascinating story of two couples whose relationships are crumbling. Each couple has everything going for them but they end up destroying their lives. Very interesting. The second is "The Glass House" by Jeannette Walls. She writes a story of growing up in great poverty. She never solicites pity from her readers. The humor she maintains while sharing her pain is admirable.

9. One Book You've Been Meaning to Read: The "Harry Potter" books. That or my best friend will never speak to me again. I made her read "Clan of the Cave Bear" so it's my turn to read some of her favorites. I'll read them...someday.

10. Now Tag 5 People: John S., cousin Stacey, Becky, Missie and cousin Jessie (my cousin, not the one from Full House). If you have a blog...blog about it. If you don't have a blog...leave it in the comments.

Anyone respond if you'd like! I'd love to read about it!

Sacrificial Love

I first saw the story of the Hoyt Team in 2000 while at kamp and trying to inspire the triathletes to give their all in our sprint triathalon the next day. The story made me cry then and it continues to make me cry now.

If I have ever thought I've sacrificed something for someone I love, I now have a new perspective. This is great love!

Modern Day Bug Zapper

If only I had known about these when I was in Montana! Then I wouldn't have had to scratch the skin off my arms and ankles.

Triathalon Update

It looks like I'll be a lone soldier sweating it out on the course up in Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin. My former roommate and good friend, Melissa, has a broken wrist. She has to wear a cast past her elbow for 11 weeks. I'm sure she'll dazzle everyone as Matron of Honor at her sisters wedding in a few weeks. The poor thing showed up at my door last week sporting scraps, cuts and swollen joints. While running along the lakefront she was hit by a cyclist. She says it's her fault but she was probably just being nice. It's a dangerous world out there.

Thankfully one of my current roommates, Janell, is kind enough to attend the triathalon with me. As a former cheerleader, she'll be the best support anyone could ask for during a grueling race.

Only 10 days until the race and I'm not quite sure I'm prepared. I can swim (at least I did once this week), bike and run. But I'm not sure all three will fit together. That's what makes it a challenge! The thing that's challenging me the most at the moment is the wardrobe options! Do I just do the whole thing in my suit? Can I squeeze my running tights over my thighs while wet from the lake? Should I just swim in them? WHAT ARE MY NEEDS?! Well, I'm sure all those will be answered after the race. I'll just go with the flow and enjoy myself.

One thing I do need: Prayer! Please pray for me that I won't drown or crash or vomit. Thanks so much!

A Reason to Own Your Own Washer & Dryer

. . . opening up the front loading washing machine to find that the person who washed their clothes before you left their period panties. Yes, I did just say "period panties." Gagging? Exactly.

My Kind of Grocery Store

You may be asking yourself, "Katy has a grocery store that's actually 'her kind'? Well, isn't that a miracle!" Yes, yes it is a miracle. I've discovered the greatness of Peapod! With Peapod I can order my groceries online, search for items on sale and have them delivered directly to my kitchen! All of this can be mine without having to brave the crowds and the nasty produce section that a city grocery store has to offer. Peapod shops at local farmers markets to make sure I have the finest of produce! Hunkalicious men knock on my door and insist on carrying the heavy bags to my kitchen. This ultimate chivalry is mine for only $9.95. I loved it so much that I even cooked for friends on Saturday night. I mean, I actually had food to serve other people!

I'm a new woman!

Bathroom Talk

No mom, this isn't an entry about bathrooms, etc. According to my mom, Erin's and my conversation "always goes back to that." And she's partly right. So isn't it appropriate that I will be doing a show in September called Bathroom Talk? In case you're thinking, "Gee, I bet that Katy is really talented. I ought to drive up there and see her show," it's at midnight on Fridays. Ouch! Yes, it's a late one and it will hurt no one worse than me.

As far as I know, it's going to be a fully improvised show with an all female cast (a rarity). You know us women, we can never go to the bathroom alone. It's the only time we can get the dish and pick our wedgies at the same time.

Tour de Lakeshore Drive

I took my first ride on my new Trek 1600 today! I finally picked up my first ever road bike on Monday and hadn't been able to ride until this morning. With the excessive heat, torrential rains, friends' bike injuries and brokenhearts I was unable to ride. I also had extreme fear of riding with clipless pedals for the first time. I've heard stories of people falling over in traffic forgetting that their feet are clipped in. The man who helped me at the store told me that, "when, not if, you fall over it will probably be in front of a bunch of handsome men." Thanks. That really built some confidence in me. Speaking of confidence builders! Does anyone remember when I fell off my bike in the third grade after slipping on some pebbles turning a corner? And then I cracked my elbow and had to wear a cast during Jenny O'Connor's birthday pool party? Oh, I remember.

I looked pretty professional in my helmet, bike shoes and tight spandex padded pants that were so thin that you could see my crack if fully bent over. There's great freedom in speeding down the open path and comraderie when passing fellow cyclists. There's a nod and wink of appreciation during that brief encounter. This is a note for all runners (me included): Please run along the dirt path provided for pedestrians. This way I won't run you over and the dirt is better for your knees anyway.

Happy Trails!

Mentos Geiser

Are your kids bored this summer? Does your pantry only contain mentos and diet coke? Perfect! Who knew that science could be so fun!



Labcoats not included.

Super Connor

As you can tell I'm a very proud aunt. Don't let Connor's face fool you. He loves me and is by no means scared of me. In fact I make him laugh...hard! My favorite aspect of the reunion was getting to play with Connor morning, noon and night. He is such a happy kiddo! He recently discovered his feet and they are his favorite toy.

You can check out more pictures of his royal cuteness on SuperConnor.com.

Babies R'Us

It's been such a long time since we've talked! I know, I know. I've been away for a while. Have you missed me? Well I've missed you. That's a given.

The Lindsay Reunion 2006 was fantastic! I think this family laughs more than any family I know. We've also expanded quite a bit (and not just in our waist-lines). In 2003 we had 41 people attend. This year we had over 60 people at the reunion. The most noticeable difference was the amount of babies and kids! The Lindsays are fertile! I think there were around 13 this year compared to the five in 2003. Most of the kids were under the age of four. I can't imagine how many diapers were used during those seven days!

Thankfully I was not housed in the "kids house". Don't get me wrong, our house, the "single house" was a dump compared to the new construction of the "kids house". But I began to realize as the week moved forward that I had it good! God blesses us in ways we don't understand at first! At the beginning of the reunion you would have heard me say that I was going to adopt three babies by the next reunion so I could stay in the cool house. Now I'm purposely not getting married and having kids until after the 2009 reunion. It was birth control indeed!

Okay, before you think I'm a kid hater I have to say that I miss them (especially my nephew, Connor)! It was fun playing games, changing diapers (that one time) and trying to make them smile. They were precious! The dinners were much quicker and louder than in the past. Our awards ceremony night lasted an hour compared to the three hours in 2003. But who's comparing!??? It just shows the different adventures this family has taken. I love seeing the changes...mostly. I just kept thinking, "how did our parents handle the insanity when we were little." No doubt we were louder and more rambunctious.

I can't wait for 2009! Who knows where we'll be! We began a family blog that you can check out. It's probably boring unless you're a Lindsay. We just gush love for each other.

Family Reunion

It's time for the Lindsay Family Reunion! I'm headed to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina tomorrow for a week long reunion on the beach. No one in my family is from South Carolina but who wants to spend a week in Springfield, Illinois? Not I.

While family reunions do not lend themselves to great match making (spare me the jokes John), I can pretend I'm Phoebe Cates! Bridget Fonda is too out there and red haired girl is pinching pennies between her cheeks. I also don't want to be referenced as a synonym to the word "fat."




















Let's get one thing straight. Pudge is NOT pudgy whatsoever. Not a trace of cellulite or muffin top.

Miss me while I'm gone! I'll try to update while I'm away. Okay, if I'm going to be honest, I probably won't update because I'll be too busy sunning myself on the beach.

Animal Crackers

Here is a picture of a new born Rhino and her momma. She is just too cute!
















"Mommy, I want the puppy! "Honey, that's not a puppy." "I DON'T CARE!"

Also in the news...an Alligator with scales that spell out "God" was found by a man in Wisconsin.













Maybe my moles spell "God"

Acne Away!

I finally went to see the dermatologist today. My adult acne has almost arrived at the point of no return and that's just not acceptable. What happened to my youthful glowing skin? I turned 30.

I wrote on the clipboard documents that I came in for "adult acne" and for a "mole check." I have so many moles on my back that it looks like a constellation. There's probably some long desired key that could crack the toughest of secret codes just sitting on my back. Connect the dots...la la la. My moles are mainly on my back and a couple on my stomach. I figured I'd just lift the shirt and she'd take a gander. Nothing ever works that way for me.

The nurse stepped out just after asking me to put on a gown. "Take everything off but you can leave on your underwear." My first thought was, "Thank goodness I have on my cute underwear today!" followed by, "Why would they have me do that? I can easily lift up my shirt."

The doctor came in and I have acne that's probably inspired by hormones. No joke. Give me a doctors degree because I diagnosed that one A LONG TIME AGO!

Then came mole check time. They had my lay down on the examination table. She basically stripped that gown off and took that instrument they use to look into your ears to examine each. and. every. mole. Then came the "flip over." I pretended I was just sunning myself on the beach and that it's no big deal to have someone examine every nook and cranny. But again, I did have on my cute panties. That at least left me some dignity.



















Go get yourself a pair! On sale now at Nordstrom.

Good news, it's official: I have no moles on my butt. Bad news, I have to have three moles removed when I get home. Now that's going to really confuse someone who may try to crack the code.

If I Die...Mourn Me

'What" will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

So Good You'll Sweat

Last night was our performance of "The Resignation" in N.U.F.A.N's Seven Plays in Seven Days. We didn't necessarily have our complete seven days to put up the show. We had all of 3 days. We met twice and were on our way to a dynamite play. The performance went well. Every seat was filled and even a few people sat in the aisles. Becky and Greg had about 1,000 more lines than I did and I know that they got caught up a few times. But we had fun and most importantly, I SHINED as the waitress. I know that some agent out there was just nodding and mumbling to themself "that waitress was just fabulous. Her seven lines really stole the show...that part where she says 'I love you' three times, you could totally tell the difference in each utterance. Sign that girl up!" Oh, and I looked the part in a black pencil skirt and white button down.

The atmosphere proved to be the most interesting part of the night for me. Take the hottest day of the year in Chicago and add an un-airconditioned theater with a side of long sleeved costumes and you have yourself one sweaty mess. I felt like I was at camp dreaming about standing in the walk in freezer just to cool off. I could have served french fries to everyone courtesy of the oil build up on my face. We sat in the dark green room trying not to move too much for fear of pit stains. By the end, no one really cared. Even the audience was sweating.

Theater brings together all different kinds of people. Waiting for our play to go up allowed for prime people watching opportunities. Some people warmed up by sitting still with their eyes closed and meditating. Others practiced some form of Tai Chi to remain focused. A few drank oversized Old Styles while wearing cardboard costumes representing the World Trade Center. That's another thing, the costumes were interesting as well. We only had to wear suits or nice clothes in our play. One play had a man wearing an oversized heating blanket as a coat. All he had underneath was a shiny pair of white spandex pants leaving nothing to the imagination. Becky leaned over and said, "He's wearing boxers under those. You can tell because everything is crinkly." He turned his back to us and you could tell there were NO boxers. She followed up with, "...or maybe it's just crinkly. Ewwww."

Overall it was a fun experience and I hope to do more of it soon!

Cleavage

Friend: "Toe cleavage is all the new rage."

Me: "Now that's some cleavage I can deliver."

The Resignation

Last week I signed up for an audition that took place Monday night. I didn't know what it was about or what it was for honestly, but I wanted to test out my new monlogue. I hadn't auditioned with a monlogue in a while. Most of my auditions recently have been purely improvised or cold readings of sketches. I felt pretty confident with my monologue though I knew it still needed some work. At least I had it memorized. That's a plus!

I arrived early for the audition. I can't help myself. I'm always early to everything. I've really tried to work on being late so I won't have to wait for everyone, but it's not working too well. Since I was early, I was the first person to sign in. When you're the first person to sign in, you go first. I wasn't really nervous because I saw this more as an opportunity to work on my auditioning skills and my monologue more than anything. I walked down a dark hallway listening to the echo of my heels on a wooden floor. The hall opened up to a small theater with a few rows of chairs and a black stage. I peeked my head around the corner and they asked me to come in. They weren't quite ready so I made some lame comment about how bare the stage looked compared to the last show I had seen. Witty banter ensued between me and the directors sitting in the audience section. I gave my monologue and felt okay about it. I need to work on a few transitions but for the most part it wasn't bad. I was just glad that it was OVER!

I knew that if I were cast I would have received an email pretty quickly after the audition considering the show is this coming Monday. By Tuesday night I hadn't heard anything and counted the audition experience as another step in the right direction. Well yesterday I received a call! I had been cast in "The Resignation" by Daniel Scurek (an original work) and should hear from someone soon. Me? Cast? I can't believe it! My first audition and BAM! Maybe I dazzled them with my smile and cute sweater set after all!

By the time I arrived home from work I had received the script by email. While waiting for it to download I wondered what amazing part I would get too play! Would it be a large cast? A small cast? Would I get to slap someone or kiss someone? What did this manuscript hold for me and my future?!!!! Delightedly I scrolled down to the second page where it stated the cast: So and So as William, So and So as Mary, and finally, Katy Orender as......the Waitress! THE WHAT? The Waitress. For the love! I was a little crestfallen until I read the description: "Pretty but awkward, 22 years of age." I'm pretty and youthful! And I LOVE playing awkward! I guess my 30 years did NOT show. Maybe I could play a teenager in a show about high schoolers who live in Beverly Hills. Andrea Zuckerman did it, why can't I?!

Hair Removal Update

1. I shaved today and my legs are silky smooth. My armpits also emulate something...something that's hair-free.

2. Fangorn is slowly but surely disappearing. Laser Hair Removal is a gift from God. Hello Myrtle Beach! I'm ready for you!

3. My eyebrows no longer resemble those belonging to Josh Hartnett.















Josh, I know a woman who does wonders with the tweezers!

4. I still have the hair on my head despite repeated abuse with a straightner.

Midnight Snack

"Katy, don't you want anything to drink?"

"No, I'm trying not to drink during the week because I want to lose some weight."

"Oh, that's great. I wish I were more like that."

"Well, it just takes discipline," she says with a huge slice of deep dish cheese pizza near her lips.

And that's what we call regret at 4:00 a.m. the next morning.

Page Turners

One of my roommates declares the fact that she "loves to read." It may take her a year to get through a book but I have no doubt that she "loves to read." I, on the otherhand, LOOOOOVE to read and can polish off a few books a month. Sometimes I even look forward to riding the el so I can find out what happens next in my book. The el can mean 25 minutes of uninterrupted reading.

Here are some of my favorite books or just books I've read recently (no special order):

1. The Wonder Spot by Meredith Bank
2. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
3. Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
4. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
5. Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers
6. Mark of the Lion by Francine Rivers
7. The Queen's Fool by Phillipa Gregory
8. Experience the Wonders of God Through Prayer by E.M. Bounds
9. Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
10. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
11. Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man by Fannie Flagg
12. Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel
13. The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
14. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
15. Sense & Sensability by Jane Austen
16. Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen
17. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
18. The Time Travelers Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
19. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
20. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
21. I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith
22. Wicked by Gregory Maguire
23. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
24. The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning
25. The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen
26. Dress Your Family in Courduroy and Denim by David Sedaris
27. The Robe by Lloyd C. Douglas
28. Exodus by Leon Uris
29. Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard
30. Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books by Azar Nafisi

These books are the first ones that come to mind. I'm sure I'll go home tonight and think, "Ugh! I should have added that one!" What are some of your favorite reads? Any suggestions?

Reunited...and it feeeeels so goooood...

Last night we, Rebirth, had our first show together since we graduated from Second City at the end of March. Before we went on I realized that I had not improvised since January. Yikes! That's a great thought to have before you go on stage and perform a 25 minute improv set. The small theater was packed with other performers, many with whom I've performed before. It was a little nerve wracking. I mean, my pride was on the line. And let's face it, I've got some pride, and I don't like it to be crushed.

Considering we didn't even rehearse we had a GREAT show! It was fun to be back out there again creating characters and stories out of nothing. It's an adrenaline pumping good time. After a rough first scene (which I knew would happen), we had a killer show. My favorite scene was when I played a suicidal teenager who suddenly had hope after a conversation with James. We were both goth-like students. My character gave her dad a framed picture of a dead mouse for Father's Day and a note that said, "Hey dad, this symbolizes our relationship." It's fun playing darker characters. I kind of grossed myself out with that part of the story, but it's what was true for the character. Us girls also played myspace obsessed cheerleaders. That probably would hit a little closer to home than the goth girl. All in all, it was a great show and my pride wasn't crushed, only further inflated. Okay, I'm going to brag for a second so bear with me. Umm, a girl walked up to me after the show and said, "You were so funny that I nearly peed in my pants. Seriously, so funny!" Now who doesn't love a comment like that? I'll take those any day!

I want to say a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Ashley (technically it was yesterday). We went out and celebrated her birth last night. So glad she's alive and can be my friend!

The Devil Wears Prada

This movie caused me to sin. It did nothing to help my addiction to shoes, purses, accessories, clothing, shoes, jewelry and shoes. I am a clothes whore and I found myself lusting after everything Anne Hathaway wore in the movie. Not only that, but I found myself jealous that she got to wear those clothes! I sinned twice! "But Katy!" you say, "there were love interests in the movie! Didn't you notice?" Sure they were in the movie but who wants to look at someones five o'clock shadow over the Chanel couture? And Simon Baker, you're so cute, but your fuzzy caterpillar eyebrows made me squirm, not swoon.

If this movie doesn't make you want to shop and buy really expensive clothes that you can't afford, then I don't know if you are truly living.

UPDATE: Apparently you can buy their wardrobe off of ebay. And it's a good cause!

Montana

What's not to like about Montana? It's a practically perfect place. There are mountains, ski slopes, clear rivers, fly-fishing, hiking, biking and the sun doesn't set until 10pm...I could go on and on! Just like last year, my heart remains in Montana.

We continued our family tradition of fly-fishing over the July 4th weekend in Missoula. This year Patrick caught the largest fish, a 22 inch brown trout on the Blackfoot River. I caught a 20 inch Cut Throat on the Bitter Root but couldn't quite drag him all the way into the boat. It's such an exciting feeling. My dad fished in the front of the boat, WHICH WILL CHANGE NEXT YEAR! He kept catching all the fish and left me to stare at a floating handmade fly. But I did catch some rays, and let's be honest, that's all I really care about. Next time you see me please notice my perfectly tanned hands and my tanned feet that have various stripes due to wearing Chaco's.

This year I brought a little femininity to fishing. I found a really cute skirt that was made for women to wear while fishing. It's much better than those ugly shorts that are made for men and that women who have hips have no hope of wearing. I think it really helped me catch those fish and definitely helped with catching rays.

The rest of my family left to drive up to Glacier National Park for hiking and camping. I unfortunately had to come back to work. I asked my family to kidnap me. I was serious. Apparently they didn't see the pleading in my eyes.

Oh, and congratulations to my good friends, Chris and Marissa, on their wedding this past Monday!

I'm a Superstar!

Yesterday I competed in the JDRF Spin to Win at Daley Plaza. Teams of five riders rode the bike for eight minutes each. Eight minutes doesn't sound like a long time, BUT IT IS! It was a fun event and I got some extra cardio in.

Who would have thought that my first time on t.v. I would be struggling and sweaty?! Please click here to watch a clip from the NBC5 News. You can see me near the end smiling while my legs slowly make the rotations. I just want to say that I did work out that morning and I did spend the whole hour doing squats and lunges. Otherwise I would have looked like the Bally's rider at the end of the clip. You'll also notice that I'm not wearing spandex. Had I been wearing spandex like the Bally's guy I would have been super fast! Spandex makes everything better.

All in all, I learned that I need to start training on the bike for this triathalon.

Can You Say BOIL?

"Oh Piper, you're so cute! Isn't she just adorable? Angie, she totally has your big brown eyes. You should really think about having Piper model in catalogs and save up money for college."

Piper points to her chin. "That's right! Chin. It's your chin! Good!" Piper then points to my chin and places her pointer finger right on the enormous boil I have forming on my face. She looks at me with eyes that ask, "Wha happen?" "Can you say BOIL? It's a boil Piper. Say BOY-EE-ALL. On second thought, you're not as cute as I thought you were."

And there you have my wedding weekend in Minnesota! Actually, it was a wonderful weekend celebrating my cousin, Stacy, and her wedding to Taylor. Gor-jess! I loved that it took place in a beautiful old library. I snuck around and felt like I could have been in a Harry Potter movie. I also liked that she walked down the aisle to George Harrison's "Here Comes the Sun." Each table was given a name so you knew where you were sitting. I sat at the "Fitzgerald" table. I loved the idea because I enjoy reading the classics. I only have a few pages left of Charles Dickens' Great Expectations. Look how I brag! I know most of you read it in 8th grade but did you really appreciate it? I'm scared I'll turn into Miss Havisham.

We danced the night away and I'm pretty sure I had the best moves on the floor. I bet my moves would have been even more impressive had my corsette top dress not isolated my sugar bloatation and made my lower abs stick out. Such pain! How did women do it back in the day? No wonder they died so young.

I leave in a few days for Montana! I'm going fly fishing for three days with my brother, sister-in-law and dad. I LOVE it and can't wait to get out of the city! Last year I only saw one other woman fishing and that was on the last day. What does that say about me? It says that I'm a man's dream come true!...she says to herself. So miss me while I'm gone!

I'll post pictures from the wedding when I have a chance. You can see the boil in full effect.

Seconds Time's a Charm?

Last summer I signed up for the Pleasant Prairie Triathalon and let my $98 registration fee go to waste because I was too busy and having too much fun to even think about exercising! But this summer is different! I'm not busy and I refuse to have any fun this summer. Those are my summer rules. Instead, I'm going to eat cardboard and exercise to the point of serious dehydration. I'm going to sweat my pores clean and enjoy picking the blisters off my toes. I'll polish the skin where my toenails used to rest and I'll love every second of it! This is the summer of discipline! Whooooooooooo's with meeeeeeeeeeeeee!? *awkard moment* Anyone? Bueller? Yes Melissa, I see you in the back. It looks like it's just me and my old roommate. FANTASTIC!

I can't wait to squish my thighs into a wetsuit and pray to God that I can make it the .75 kilometers of the swim. Five years ago I completed my first sprint triathalon one hour after eating a burrito*. Surely this triathalon will be a better experience.

*burrito story: I was in charge of the women's triathlete specialty at K-Klassic Kamp. Basically it meant that I was a cheerleader who happen to exercise with the kampers daily. At the end of each term we held a sprint triathalon for all the triathlete kampers. According to Dan, the man, I was going to be cheering instead of competing. It wasn't until the burrito was on its way to a rough digestion that I was informed that I would be competing in less than an hours time.

NOTE: Kanakuk Kamps spells everything with a "k." It's not just my poor spelling.

Better Luck Next Year

Can't. Talk. Mavs. Lost. Heart. Hurt. So. Bad.

Quote of the Day

In conversation with a good friends husband:

"Wait. She's quoting scripture to me again. She likes to do that. Sometimes it can get really awkward; especially during sex."

Cyst

I think I have cystic acne-itis. It hasn't been diagnosed by a doctor but it's been diagnosed by ME! Never heard of it? That's because I just made it up. After sharing with my friends my battle stories with teenage acne a revelation occured. Each one of my friends who has turned 30 admitted that their skin went psycho, out of control, payback for the blue eyeshadow we made it go through in 7th grade. This is such a comfort!

I think I would rather have a bullet wound to the knee cap than reverberating pain of trying to pop a zit that doesn't want to be popped.

Have you ever looked up the word cyst? Well I just did. This is what's all over my face:

Pathology. An abnormal membranous sac containing a gaseous, liquid, or semisolid substance.
Anatomy. A sac or vesicle in the body.
Biology. A small capsulelike sac that encloses certain organisms in their dormant or larval stage.
Botany. A thick-walled resting spore, as in certain algae or fungi.

So basically I have an enormous, membranous, larval, resting spore on my face. And it's mad hot, hot mad!

History of Rebirth

I must post this poster created by Jason's friend, Liz, of our Rebirth cast. It's just too funny. We wondered why he wanted all these pictures of our faces. Ah ha! Bravo! Bravo!





















I will not be bleaching these brunette locks anytime soon.

Katy's Inconvenient Truth

I've heard great things about Al Gore's new movie, An Inconvenient Truth. I saw the previews for the movie and I can tell you that I probably won't see it. I'm sure that as a resident of this earth it's my duty to go see a movie that discusses the destruction of this planet because of the way we live, but the previews scare me. I'm afraid I'll walk away frightened that the earth will collapse at any moment. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by difficult situations or tragedies and I freeze. I adopt the "all or nothing" mentality. Sadly I sometimes think that if I can't save everything then I won't try and save anything. I think I just talked myself into going to see this movie. I'd rather see Nacho Libre.
















There's something about a man in tattered long johns. Now if we could get Al Gore in tattered long johns, that would be a movie!

I have an inconvenient truth for the people in my office. You know that can of aerosol spray that you keep in the bathroom? The one that's placed on the lone bathroom's sink? The one bathroom that's placed near the kitchen and provides an air path to our cubicals? It's depleting the ozone layer. And it's slowly killing me! I can't stand spray. FOR THE LOVE! Light a match! Or may I recommend using the building bathroom down the hall? That spray is toxic and it makes me unable to breathe. It closes off my windpipe and then brings thoughts of poisonous air. I hate smells. Never ask me to smell anything other than nature's flowers or fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. If you ask you'll just get a tight lipped shake of the head.

My roommates and I are trying to do our part for the eco-system. We're using the blue bag recycling system here in Chicago. I keep forgetting what we can recycle and which bag is for which material. We taped a list on top of our trash can so I'll remember. So far it's not helping. I'm visual. I need pictures. Maybe I'll print up pictures of what we recycle.

Pictures from The Phoenician

My room! All to myself! And this is only half of it.















I could have spent a week in this bathroom pampering myself. I have to applaude the water pressure. My apartment shower is more like being spit upon.















A room with a view!

You know the place is pretty incredible when you take pictures within the first 5 seconds of arriving. THANK YOU PHOENICIAN! I'm sensing a spa retreat weekend with the ladies!

The Phoenician

After checking into the hotel on Sunday night I took my key and looked at the envelope that came with it. There's a line where it says the name of the person staying in the room. Erin, who I travelled with, rolled her eyes as she mentioned that they called her "Miss." I had the upper hand on that story. They called me "Mr."

Sometimes I don't get what I deserve and then there are times when I get more than I deserve. After complaining for two months that I HAD to attend a work conference, in Phoenix, in the summer, my mouth finally shut...or maybe it would be more appropriate to say that it fell open to the floor. We pulled up to The Phoenician and my complaining stopped immediately. How did I not know we were staying at such a fantastic place and why did I not come here earlier in the weekend to enjoy everything?

Somehow at check-in I was upgraded to a suite. My room was bigger than my apartment and my balcony could host a 50 person cocktail party. I'll post views of the room and from the balcony soon. It was jaw dropping gorgeous. AND my bathroom was an enormous marble dream. THAT's what I call a work conference. I'll have to visit when my trip doesn't include 8-5 meetings.

Dallas Mav's

I want to give a shout out to my home team, The Dallas Mavericks! The fact that they are going to the NBA finals is unbelievable! It looks like Mark Cuban brought more to Dallas and the NBA than just his eccentricities. Kudos to you Mark! Your fanatical spirit caught on in a city that thought basketball had died.

Mavericks, you've come a long way since the days of Roy Tarpley. I wonder what ever happened to Roy Tarpley. I just looked him up and it says that he's now with the Michigan Mayhem in some Continental Basketball Association.

















Roy, you're remembered more for your drug habit than your basketball skills in Dallas.

I have to brag for a second. Well, it's not really bragging as much as it is name dropping. Rolando Blackman and Mark Aguirre (not McGuire) lived in my neighborhood. Once, Mark came over to my parents house and played a game of pick up basketball with Patrick and his friends. It's like so cool, I know. What? You don't remember Rolando Blackman and Mark Aguirre? They were drafted in 1980/81? Am I going to have to hunt down pictures so you'll remember them?








This tiny head is now the Assistant coach to the New York Knicks





















The Jordan of Dallas

Rolando is now the Assistant coach to the Mavericks. It looks like his dreams are coming true. Miracles do happen. We need to be patient enough to seem them and remember that our timing is not always God's timing. Also, our definition of success isn't always God's either. Thank you Rolando for helping us learn that lesson.

I feel waves of jealousy that my family gets to see the game tonight. It hurts! But I'm happy for them. Go Mavs! Some day I hope to meet these guys!

Post Secret & Found Magazine

Friday night I went to a reading of PostSecret.com and Found Magazine at the Intuit Art Gallery. It was fantastic! If you've never looked at these sites or read the books, PLEASE DO! Check to see if they are coming to your city because the readings are hilarious, sad and just plain wonderful!

PostSecret.com will be in Houston on June 6th and Austin on June 7th.

Love Lost

Today all hope of love is lost.

Nearly three months ago my roommate, Janell, was given a beta fish as a gift from a bride. The bride said that this fish was a symbol of hope for love. When the bride was single and new to the city she bought a beta fish. She had an understanding with God that the beta fish would live until she met her future husband. The day she met her now husband the fish died.

We named the crimson fish Mawiage. His name was in honor of the movie, "The Princess Bride." That's the ultimate story of love against all odds. And who doesn't love a priest with a speech impediment? Mawiage graced our kitchen table and often kept me company during breakfast. He quickly became an endearing joke to us and our friends.

Sadly Mawiage died today. After a run in Lincoln Park we came home to discover him laying on the rocks in his clear bowl. We all couldn't help mourning his death but we were probably mourning the loss of our hope for great love even more.

Mawiage is now swimming in beta fish heaven, more commonly known as the Chicago sewage system. After a few prayers for hope we flushed him down the toilet. Now I have a fear that when I go to the bathroom he'll suddenly come back. I think I'll use Jessie's bathroom for a while.

Texas Summers

I am not 15 anymore. This was made clear to me the other day after riding a wave runner multiple times on a windy and rough watered lake. The entire right side of my body is aching. I thought at one point that I must have slipped a disk. That's what people over the age of 30 do, they slip disks. I remember when I used to be able to slalom for 15 minutes at a time and barely break a sweat. Now I get jarred a few times by the waves and I think I've broken something...or everything. But it was so worth it!

I am concocting a plan of how I can spend my entire summer at my parents lake house and still get paid.














Who wouldn't want to stay here all summer?

I admit that I have experienced jealousy pangs of my little brother just beginning his three months of summer. Do you remember those days of studying hard for hours and days to make good grades on your finals and then suddenly you're done? The feeling of driving around in Bunny's old red blazer with the windows down and singing at the top of our lungs to Ace of Base's "All That She Wants is Another Baby" and realizing that we're done...DONE...can hardly be beat. All the summers held for me were a month of kamp (heaven on earth), cheerleading slumber parties and driving my friends in my cherry red 1992 Toyota Celica. Ahhhhhh, Texas summer nights.

Maybe I should become a teacher. I'm not sure what I would teach. I love art history but that would mean teaching at a collegiate level. Collegiate level = summer classes. Hmmmm, maybe not.

Another thing I love about Texas summers is the feeling of walking inside and feeling the blast of cold air on a 100 degree day. Then there's the thawing out as you leave the ice box buildings and step into the heat. Fresh cut grass, cold lemonade, icy watermelon, cookouts, luke warm pools, baseball games on the radio, cicadas, cold dark movie theaters, lightening bugs, sunburned skin, no makeup, slapping of bare feet on hot cement, 9:00 p.m. sunsets, late night ice cream runs...all of these are a part of my childhood. This past weekend made us feel like kids again.

Or lab rats...

Therapy Session

I've written about a couple of my dreams in the past but I usually try to avoid it. But sometimes dreams are more honest and telling about your life and your feelings than you could ever be to yourself. Apparently I try to be anything but honest with myself and try to avoid negative feelings at all costs. Those feelings then build up and the flood gates come crashing down and you find yourself curled up on the couch trying to find a dry sleeve to wipe your tear stained face on while watching a commercial that involves puppies and little kids.

I took an aptitude test when I was a sophomore in college. After eight hours of grueling tests I was told that a) they couldn't figure me out; b) I will probably be in school for the rest of my life; and c) whatever I do I should work for myself. I'm realizing that all three of these things are true.

A) I can't figure myself out either! I have too many passions and my desire for adventure contradicts my desire to have a family.

B) I love learning and school is the best place to learn (outside of life experience). I think the reason I want to be an actress is so that I can learn and do everything. I may be master of none and mediocre of all but at least I'd get to do it all!

C) The realization that I should work for myself has never been truer than NOW! No details necessary but I would love the freedom to be able to GO! Just GO anywhere at anytime, be with anyone who needs my help or wants a companion to join them on a camping trip in Guatemala.

A couple of nights ago I had a dream that I was visiting Heather Armstrong of Dooce.com. We were hanging out with her daughter, Leta, just talking about life. I remember I finally built up the nerve to ask her how someone makes a living as a blogger. This one question has two points of significance. The first is that I would love the freedom that blogging brings. I could do it from anywhere at anytime. Awesome! Secondly, the question was barely audible when it came out of my mouth and no one heard. That's significant because I have a history of thinking that people are not interested in the things I have to say sometimes. I'll share an example: 10 people sit in a circle and catch up on the highs and lows of their year. We go in a circle and people are crying and laughing and really getting to share their struggles. I'm the last one to share and just when I begin speaking of the difficulties of the past year, a baby starts crying and everyone turns their focus to the baby and we never finish the sharing. That's just one of a billion out there. Becky says it's unbelievable how many times she's witnessed this happen to me (so it's not just me having a complex!)...and she's always quick to protect me. I also think that it shows I might be a little fearful to go after the things I really want.

I am fascinated by dreams and how they reveal the truth of life. I am also fascinated by the thought of making a living as a blogger! How does one do it?!!

Oh Wise One!

Who doesn't love learning more about oneself?

Your results:
You are Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan Kenobi 74% Yoda 72% Padme 70% Princess Leia 68% R2-D2 66% Qui-Gon Jinn 65% An Ewok 61% Luke Skywalker 60% Han Solo 54% Jar Jar Binks 53%

You are civilized, calm, and have a good sense of humor, even when those around you don't. You can hold your own in a fight, but prefer it when things don't get too exciting.

(This list displays the top 10 results out of a possible 21 characters)


Click here to take the "Which Star Wars character am I?" quiz...

Thanks Kellsey for the idea! I guess you and I are one in the same! I like Obe-Wan Kenobi. He's good people. Praise the Lord Jar Jar Binks is the bottom of the barrell for me. "Meso thinks......blah blah blah." And let me just say that Luke Skywalker is a WHINER!!! Just like his dad as a young man. Oh and they also fail to mention that I have great power over people. With a wave of my hand I can have anything I want.

The Cubs

The only winning thing the Cubs have going for them these days is this guy right here:





















'Sup y'all! Sportin' the Cubbie Blue.

Check out those thighs. Those are power thighs, as in, future power pitcher thighs. If he were drafted now, I'd predict the Cubs could be World Series Champs by 2007.

You see mostly Connor's mom and dad in the face. But what you might have missed is that he also resembles his aunt, Katy (ie. ME). That little crease in the left thigh says it all. Watch out that crumbs don't get stuck in that flap of skin because that can lead to a bacterial disease.

Connor and I will be reunited this weekend over ice cream sandwiches and brats. And yes, we will eat them in that order.

Shoe Fix

Due to my downtrodden state yesterday, I decided to self-medicate. Self-medication = shoe shopping. I went to the mother of all shoe stores. No it wasn't DSW, Target or Lori's "the Sole of Chicago." I'm talking about the Nordstrom shoe department. When you work blocks away and you need a little pick me up, Nordstrom never disappoints. I made a purchase.



















Picture these shoes but in a mustard yellow. They are so ugly that they're cute. Picture them with a nice pair of dark jeans, capri pants or a white skirt. Fabuloso! They remind me of the shoes (aka. house slippers) Auntie wore back when I was growing up.

So did they make me happy? Oh, they sure did for at least a good 18 hours. I only had to apply one bandaid at my heel to stop the shoe from slicing my achilles. But they are rather comfortable and can be worn walking long distances.

Stuck

I've been a bit down this week and I can figure out if it's because I'm paying my monthly dues or if it's because I really am unsatisfied with life at the moment. Both ingredients probably factor into the whole.

While talking with Becky last night I came up with an analogy of how I am feeling. I feel like I'm running behind or I'm late for something big. I am stuck at a stop light while all the other cars seem to be able to get where they are going. I am unsure of where I'm headed and the map in my hand is unreadable and doesn't make sense.

I know where I want to be but I don't know how to get there and the path I'm taking just isn't getting me there as soon as I'd like. Waiting is the hardest part of life at the moment. I'm restless to make something happen but it's not for me to decide. How exactly does "active faith" work?

I don't like being late and waiting makes me anxious. It's the "character building" phase of life. This character better be worth it!

Conan O'Brien LIVE!

The Lord hath laid His hands upon me and blessed me! Last Friday I skipped work so I could stand under the el in 40 degree weather and spitting rain for five and a half hours. Doesn't that sound like a blessing? No? Well, maybe it will once I tell you that I stood there for five and a half hours in my winter garb huddled next to thousands of strangers so I could see CONAN O'BRIEN!

Jason's original date couldn't make it so I begged and pleaded "Take me! Take me!" We met at 10:00 am at State and Lake to wait in line to see Conan. We were one of the first 50 or enthusiastic fans to brave the inclement weather. Jason and I now know everything about each other and I know a little too much about the strangers that surrounded us. I was in people watching paradise! You know what's annoying? Twenty or so people who think they are really funny and think that everyone should get to experience the joy of their humor. One such commedian was kicked out of line right before my very eyes. I actually felt sorry for him.

Three hours into the stand-off I was losing hope. My hands were white with numbness, my legs ached from standing in one spot and I couldn't feel my feet. Just when I thought I couldn't take much more of it, I hear the crowd begin to scream. Then I see a thin long legged redhead running across the street with cameras following him. He jumps up right infront of us and yells to the crowd, "Thank you for being the best fans in the world! Thank you for waiting in this horrible weather! We have free pizza for all of you!" Next thing I know, Uno's is handing out HOT deep dish pizza to everyone. Conan rushes down the line to shake everyone's hand. My frozen hand stuck in the air waited for his touch. He shook everyone's hand around me (probably wanted to avoid the dead looking hand) and then must have seen my pleading face. He looked me in the eye and shook my hand. I wish I could have felt it.

I suddenly had rejuvenated enthusiasm that helped me wait it out the next two and a half hours. We really looked like cattle in a corral. People were shoving each other trying to get further up in the line. People become nasty in a crowd. Just when they began hurding us into the theater, I grabbed Jason's hand and prepared myself for battle. I have never been hit or shoved so many times...by WOMEN! They were the worst. At one point Jason and I looked at a girl and both said, "Just CHILL!"

We found seats right by the band and had a perfect view of Conan. It was such a great experience and worth every freezing second. Wouldn't you know it! My camera died just before Conan gave us free pizza. So you'll just have to believe me! Thank you Jason!



















Sam actually got to meet Conan. I was bitter for a second.

Season Finale Review: Grey's Anatomy

Last night was a blatant abuse of my emotions. They tried every possible avenue to make me cry...and it worked! Let's recount the story lines that touched my soul and made me cry (in chronological order):

1. The aftermath of Dr. Burke being shot. He's HOT and it's just a shame that someone that hot had to be shot. His perfect shoulder is now ruined. But I'm sure it will make for a sexy scar.

2. Izzie. She scared me and I cried out of fear for my life and the lives of all the interns. Someone put her in an institution so we can all be safe.

3. The niece who missed her prom because her cancer came back and she's going to die. How could they be so ruthless? There's only one other thing that is more ruthless than a teenage girl dying of cancer:

4. A dog dying of Cancer. I cried the hardest when they put Doc to sleep. This probably ranked a level 8 on my scale of hysterical crying. I would have rather watched the whole cast of Grey's Anatomy die than have to re-watch the death of Doc. Question: how could they so easily go to a prom after such a tragic ending to a loved one?

5. Denny's heart working. I like Denny. It's too bad that he fell in love with a psycho doctor who tried to kill him. I don't care how pretty she is or the size of her boobs.

6. George and Callie kissing. Callie resembled a line backer. George resembled a little boy who used gel on his hair for the first time. I cried because I thought Callie was going to crush George.

7. Christine. I like you so much. Why did you become heartless while watching Burke struggle? Burke, I'm better than she is and I would have been by your side the whole time! I'd go fishing with you!

8. Denny dying. I called this one early and therefore began crying 7.2 minutes before it happened. And Izzie...your dress. Ick.

9. Meredith and Derek. I don't care for you Meredith. But, I definitely don't think that McDreamy has any right to love you. I didn't cry for either one of you. In fact, you pained me. I cried because Meredith's pretty dress swallowed her alive. I think she is emaciating before our very eyes.

10. Alex. Thank you for being the one sane person on the show last night. Remember when you were Massimo? Wasn't that fun? You had a terrible fake accent, you got to wrestle on the ground with Matthew McConaughey and you were rejected by Jennifer Lopez? I love that movie.

11. Finally. Finn. You have no idea how much Meredith DOES NOT deserve you.

No Privacy

The downside of working in a cube: everyone can hear when you have to announce on the phone that you're about to start your period.

The upside of working in a cube: everyone knows to STAY OFF YOUR BACK!

Free Comic Book Day

Visit Komikazee.com to read my second article about Comic Books. I attended my first ever Free Comic Book Day!

Huge Praise

Thank you for your many prayers. It looks like Ella is fighting this disease! She is still "critical" but is improving greatly. This is her parents blog that will fill you in on the details over the past few days. It truly is a miracle! Again, thank you!

Try This David Blaine

So we all know David Blaine, the stunt performer. He recently pulled his latest stunt, Drowned Alive. Yes he survived a week in a snow globe filled with water and lived! But he came away with some nasty rashes and liver failure. Most frat boys would call that a weekend. I think he's a glutton for pain.

Speaking of pain and craizay people...I have some thoughts for David Blaine and what he should try next:

1) Walk around Chicago in a pair of 3 inch heels for 3 hours straight in a pencil skirt during 80% humidity.

2) Chaperone an 8th grade lock-in at Crystals Pizza.

3) Have someone repeatedly tell him he looks like a softball player.

4) Wax everything on his body. Wait...looks like he already has it all waxed.

5) Eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's while watching an episode of LOST all the while forgetting that he's lactose intolerant.

6) Experience first day period cramps and still have to go to work or take care of five kids who want to go to Toys R'Us so they can spend their allowance.

7) Try on bathing suits under flourescent lights after six months of dead winter while a woman keeps popping in to ask if everything is okay and comment on how the suit looks on his body. And NO FAKE TANS ALLOWED!

8) Give birth.

I think these should leave him with a good challenge.

Please Pray

Please pray for my friends, Joe and Andrea, who just had a baby girl yesterday afternoon. The pregnancy and delivery were healthy, but little Ella started having problems breathing soon after she was born. Ella is now in NICU and having seizures. They are not sure what is wrong. Please pray for God to reveal what is happening, that it is easily treatable and that Joe and Andrea will have a peace beyond understanding.

Which Superhero are You?

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 75% Supergirl 73% Superman 70% Wonder Woman 63% Robin 53% The Flash 50% Green Lantern 45% Iron Man 40% Catwoman 25% Hulk 20% Batman 5%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Duck Headed Canes

So this morning I walked into a bar. . .and it hurt. Get it? Hahahahahaha. Aw, man! Why didn't I wear my waterproof mascara? But seriously, I did walk into a bar and it did hurt. As I was about to walk through the gauntlet to enter the el I must have been thinking about some hilarious sketch I was going to create about a guy who is infatuated with canes that have duck heads.





















"Slap me some skin!"

Next thing I know I'm trying to go through the turnstile and it hits me right at the hip bones. I almost sommersalted over the thing. I quickly look up and look around me while making noises that are unintelligible but imply "Oh my gosh I'm such an idiot. Can you believe I tried to walk through here without paying first? And would you look at that! I have the card right here in my hand! I also just ordered the greatest pair of shoes off the Banana Republic website. Score!"

I have on the same pink sweater that I wore the day I forgot my wallet. It must be the sweater. BURN IT!

Conan O'Brien

My friends make fun of me because I can't pronounce "Conan" correctly. I say it like "Conan the Barbarian" instead of "Co-nen". Wait, maybe I've said that wrong my whole life too. That would be the case.



















It's almost like he's Jabba the Hutt after using the "Bowflex" and drinking protein shakes.

They also make fun of me because I say "booze-um" instead of "bosom." Maybe it's because I'm a Texan.

Did you know that Conan, aka. Conaane, is hosting his show from the great city of Chicago this week? That's all we've heard about for the past month or so. My friend, Jason, was lucky enough to win two tickets in a contest. Unfortunately, I was not asked to attend with him. It's probably better that way. I can't even pronounce the hosts' name correctly. But here's a great interview with Conan where he talks about Chicago, Second City and the influence improv has on his work.

I'm 30 years old. When Conan was 30, he just got the "Late Night" gig. That's enough to make me want to stick my head in an oven. Not really. No need to intervene and put me on prozac.

Guess who jumped in a cab Friday night only to be immediately pulled over by a Police Paddy Wagon? Yours truly! The police officer made me and Jess wait in the taxi while he talked with the driver outside of the car. With wide eyes, Jess and I kept looking around wondering why the police pulled the cab over. And the other party of me wondered why my friends who were sitting on the stoop of a house didn't see us get pulled over and wonder what was going on. That hurts. But alas we were safe and the driver only got a parking ticket for "not pulling completely over to the curb when picking up a passenger." Who knew that existed? Good thing he didn't pull completely over because he would have hit us. Poor guy just trying to take care of his two cute kids. Jess and I wrote a letter in protest of the ticket on the drivers behalf. Changing the world one letter at a time.

Another Take

You all remember Robert, the one who was "sooooooo bored" and still dissed me and Jess? Well, we have definitely bonded since then. I'll stop and say hi as he takes in some fresh air on the stoop (all two steps of it). He shared stories about how he loves to make jumbalaya and how he wrote a book on his horrific and tragic Hurricane Katrina experience. I really felt like we were building a friendship.

Yesterday was nothing out of the ordinary. He was on the "stoop" and said hello to me and Jess. Jessie went to help a friend unload some things from her car. That left Robert and I a few moments alone. Again, it was nothing out of the ordinary. Robert got a little nervous and said, "I'd like to pay you a compliment." I got all excited and would welcome anyone paying me a compliment! He said, "Well, I won't tell you it now. (long pause with nervous laughter) I just chickened out!" "Robert! I don't bite!" He, a married man, then put it out there, "Well, I just wanted to tell you that you're GORGEOUS. I mean....you are....FINE!" (nervous laughter from all parties involved) Then with nervous rambling and scarcely a breath taken I say, "Gee, thanks Robert. Wow, that's so nice of you. I mean, I really needed to hear that because, you know, some random guy told me yesterday that I looked like a SOFTBALL player! I mean, can you believe that? Pshh! I know, it's all "innocent" and everything ("innocent" being said with physical quotation gesture). So thanks." (long awkward pause) "Alrighty then, I'm going to go see if I can help Jess."

I just can't take a compliment; especially one that's so emphatic and from a married man! But hey, it's MUCH better than "softball player!"

How NOT to Hit on a Girl

Last night Jessie and I decided we would really try to get active, get social and get involved with our church. I've been there for two and a half years and haven't really been connected since the first 3 months (when I really wanted to meet new people). They planned a bowling social for last night and we thought that would be harmless and fun. Usually I try to avoid these things because of their "meet market" tendencies * GAG * (open mouth, insert index finger and produce gagging noises). So after talking ourselves out of staying home to watch Everwood we drove to the bowling alley.

We were on time, of course. Thankfully there were others there who cared about timeliness. Five minutes later we were bowling on lane 5. Paige, Rob and Luke joined me and Jessie as we attempted a 300. We were having fun chatting and asking questions like, "Sooooo....how long have you lived in Chicago? Oh, you're a native? I didn't know those existed anymore. Hee hee." I sucked it up and became "Outgoing Katy." She's exhausting. I think Luke was trying to be social and decided to ask me, "Did you play sports growing up?" "Yeah. Why?" "Did you play softball?" "No, why?" "Oh, you look like a softball player." "Excuse me?" "You look like a softball player." "WHAT. THE. HELL?!!!!" You could just see that I was about to leap over those plastic seats and punch him in the face (which didn't help the "softball" comment). "NO! I am not a lesbi.. I mean, NO! Hell NO! WHA?" Notice how I filtered my comments. I mean, I was with people I didn't know. He of course saw that he had obviously made a mistake and tried to cover it up by saying, "I mean, you look like you have quite an arm, like you could, like, throw the ball really far."

And there in that moment my life changed forever. No more lifting weights for me. Yes, I am strong. Could I probably throw a ball far? Yes. Was I throwing a 10 lbs. bowling ball at dizzying speeds toward the pins? Yes. So now I'm going to live off of broccoli and cauliflower. And I'm only going to eat that at breakfast. Shelby and I will have to change our training regiment to speed walking for 8 hours a day. And I am NEVER, and I repeat, NEVER, going to leave the house without lipstick.



















Okay, so she's not a lesbian. But she could still hurt someone.















There's just no explaining her.