Hair Removal Update

1. I shaved today and my legs are silky smooth. My armpits also emulate something...something that's hair-free.

2. Fangorn is slowly but surely disappearing. Laser Hair Removal is a gift from God. Hello Myrtle Beach! I'm ready for you!

3. My eyebrows no longer resemble those belonging to Josh Hartnett.















Josh, I know a woman who does wonders with the tweezers!

4. I still have the hair on my head despite repeated abuse with a straightner.

Midnight Snack

"Katy, don't you want anything to drink?"

"No, I'm trying not to drink during the week because I want to lose some weight."

"Oh, that's great. I wish I were more like that."

"Well, it just takes discipline," she says with a huge slice of deep dish cheese pizza near her lips.

And that's what we call regret at 4:00 a.m. the next morning.

Page Turners

One of my roommates declares the fact that she "loves to read." It may take her a year to get through a book but I have no doubt that she "loves to read." I, on the otherhand, LOOOOOVE to read and can polish off a few books a month. Sometimes I even look forward to riding the el so I can find out what happens next in my book. The el can mean 25 minutes of uninterrupted reading.

Here are some of my favorite books or just books I've read recently (no special order):

1. The Wonder Spot by Meredith Bank
2. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
3. Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
4. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
5. Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers
6. Mark of the Lion by Francine Rivers
7. The Queen's Fool by Phillipa Gregory
8. Experience the Wonders of God Through Prayer by E.M. Bounds
9. Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
10. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
11. Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man by Fannie Flagg
12. Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel
13. The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
14. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
15. Sense & Sensability by Jane Austen
16. Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen
17. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
18. The Time Travelers Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
19. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
20. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
21. I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith
22. Wicked by Gregory Maguire
23. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
24. The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning
25. The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen
26. Dress Your Family in Courduroy and Denim by David Sedaris
27. The Robe by Lloyd C. Douglas
28. Exodus by Leon Uris
29. Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard
30. Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books by Azar Nafisi

These books are the first ones that come to mind. I'm sure I'll go home tonight and think, "Ugh! I should have added that one!" What are some of your favorite reads? Any suggestions?

Reunited...and it feeeeels so goooood...

Last night we, Rebirth, had our first show together since we graduated from Second City at the end of March. Before we went on I realized that I had not improvised since January. Yikes! That's a great thought to have before you go on stage and perform a 25 minute improv set. The small theater was packed with other performers, many with whom I've performed before. It was a little nerve wracking. I mean, my pride was on the line. And let's face it, I've got some pride, and I don't like it to be crushed.

Considering we didn't even rehearse we had a GREAT show! It was fun to be back out there again creating characters and stories out of nothing. It's an adrenaline pumping good time. After a rough first scene (which I knew would happen), we had a killer show. My favorite scene was when I played a suicidal teenager who suddenly had hope after a conversation with James. We were both goth-like students. My character gave her dad a framed picture of a dead mouse for Father's Day and a note that said, "Hey dad, this symbolizes our relationship." It's fun playing darker characters. I kind of grossed myself out with that part of the story, but it's what was true for the character. Us girls also played myspace obsessed cheerleaders. That probably would hit a little closer to home than the goth girl. All in all, it was a great show and my pride wasn't crushed, only further inflated. Okay, I'm going to brag for a second so bear with me. Umm, a girl walked up to me after the show and said, "You were so funny that I nearly peed in my pants. Seriously, so funny!" Now who doesn't love a comment like that? I'll take those any day!

I want to say a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Ashley (technically it was yesterday). We went out and celebrated her birth last night. So glad she's alive and can be my friend!

The Devil Wears Prada

This movie caused me to sin. It did nothing to help my addiction to shoes, purses, accessories, clothing, shoes, jewelry and shoes. I am a clothes whore and I found myself lusting after everything Anne Hathaway wore in the movie. Not only that, but I found myself jealous that she got to wear those clothes! I sinned twice! "But Katy!" you say, "there were love interests in the movie! Didn't you notice?" Sure they were in the movie but who wants to look at someones five o'clock shadow over the Chanel couture? And Simon Baker, you're so cute, but your fuzzy caterpillar eyebrows made me squirm, not swoon.

If this movie doesn't make you want to shop and buy really expensive clothes that you can't afford, then I don't know if you are truly living.

UPDATE: Apparently you can buy their wardrobe off of ebay. And it's a good cause!

Montana

What's not to like about Montana? It's a practically perfect place. There are mountains, ski slopes, clear rivers, fly-fishing, hiking, biking and the sun doesn't set until 10pm...I could go on and on! Just like last year, my heart remains in Montana.

We continued our family tradition of fly-fishing over the July 4th weekend in Missoula. This year Patrick caught the largest fish, a 22 inch brown trout on the Blackfoot River. I caught a 20 inch Cut Throat on the Bitter Root but couldn't quite drag him all the way into the boat. It's such an exciting feeling. My dad fished in the front of the boat, WHICH WILL CHANGE NEXT YEAR! He kept catching all the fish and left me to stare at a floating handmade fly. But I did catch some rays, and let's be honest, that's all I really care about. Next time you see me please notice my perfectly tanned hands and my tanned feet that have various stripes due to wearing Chaco's.

This year I brought a little femininity to fishing. I found a really cute skirt that was made for women to wear while fishing. It's much better than those ugly shorts that are made for men and that women who have hips have no hope of wearing. I think it really helped me catch those fish and definitely helped with catching rays.

The rest of my family left to drive up to Glacier National Park for hiking and camping. I unfortunately had to come back to work. I asked my family to kidnap me. I was serious. Apparently they didn't see the pleading in my eyes.

Oh, and congratulations to my good friends, Chris and Marissa, on their wedding this past Monday!

I'm a Superstar!

Yesterday I competed in the JDRF Spin to Win at Daley Plaza. Teams of five riders rode the bike for eight minutes each. Eight minutes doesn't sound like a long time, BUT IT IS! It was a fun event and I got some extra cardio in.

Who would have thought that my first time on t.v. I would be struggling and sweaty?! Please click here to watch a clip from the NBC5 News. You can see me near the end smiling while my legs slowly make the rotations. I just want to say that I did work out that morning and I did spend the whole hour doing squats and lunges. Otherwise I would have looked like the Bally's rider at the end of the clip. You'll also notice that I'm not wearing spandex. Had I been wearing spandex like the Bally's guy I would have been super fast! Spandex makes everything better.

All in all, I learned that I need to start training on the bike for this triathalon.

Can You Say BOIL?

"Oh Piper, you're so cute! Isn't she just adorable? Angie, she totally has your big brown eyes. You should really think about having Piper model in catalogs and save up money for college."

Piper points to her chin. "That's right! Chin. It's your chin! Good!" Piper then points to my chin and places her pointer finger right on the enormous boil I have forming on my face. She looks at me with eyes that ask, "Wha happen?" "Can you say BOIL? It's a boil Piper. Say BOY-EE-ALL. On second thought, you're not as cute as I thought you were."

And there you have my wedding weekend in Minnesota! Actually, it was a wonderful weekend celebrating my cousin, Stacy, and her wedding to Taylor. Gor-jess! I loved that it took place in a beautiful old library. I snuck around and felt like I could have been in a Harry Potter movie. I also liked that she walked down the aisle to George Harrison's "Here Comes the Sun." Each table was given a name so you knew where you were sitting. I sat at the "Fitzgerald" table. I loved the idea because I enjoy reading the classics. I only have a few pages left of Charles Dickens' Great Expectations. Look how I brag! I know most of you read it in 8th grade but did you really appreciate it? I'm scared I'll turn into Miss Havisham.

We danced the night away and I'm pretty sure I had the best moves on the floor. I bet my moves would have been even more impressive had my corsette top dress not isolated my sugar bloatation and made my lower abs stick out. Such pain! How did women do it back in the day? No wonder they died so young.

I leave in a few days for Montana! I'm going fly fishing for three days with my brother, sister-in-law and dad. I LOVE it and can't wait to get out of the city! Last year I only saw one other woman fishing and that was on the last day. What does that say about me? It says that I'm a man's dream come true!...she says to herself. So miss me while I'm gone!

I'll post pictures from the wedding when I have a chance. You can see the boil in full effect.

Seconds Time's a Charm?

Last summer I signed up for the Pleasant Prairie Triathalon and let my $98 registration fee go to waste because I was too busy and having too much fun to even think about exercising! But this summer is different! I'm not busy and I refuse to have any fun this summer. Those are my summer rules. Instead, I'm going to eat cardboard and exercise to the point of serious dehydration. I'm going to sweat my pores clean and enjoy picking the blisters off my toes. I'll polish the skin where my toenails used to rest and I'll love every second of it! This is the summer of discipline! Whooooooooooo's with meeeeeeeeeeeeee!? *awkard moment* Anyone? Bueller? Yes Melissa, I see you in the back. It looks like it's just me and my old roommate. FANTASTIC!

I can't wait to squish my thighs into a wetsuit and pray to God that I can make it the .75 kilometers of the swim. Five years ago I completed my first sprint triathalon one hour after eating a burrito*. Surely this triathalon will be a better experience.

*burrito story: I was in charge of the women's triathlete specialty at K-Klassic Kamp. Basically it meant that I was a cheerleader who happen to exercise with the kampers daily. At the end of each term we held a sprint triathalon for all the triathlete kampers. According to Dan, the man, I was going to be cheering instead of competing. It wasn't until the burrito was on its way to a rough digestion that I was informed that I would be competing in less than an hours time.

NOTE: Kanakuk Kamps spells everything with a "k." It's not just my poor spelling.

Better Luck Next Year

Can't. Talk. Mavs. Lost. Heart. Hurt. So. Bad.

Quote of the Day

In conversation with a good friends husband:

"Wait. She's quoting scripture to me again. She likes to do that. Sometimes it can get really awkward; especially during sex."

Cyst

I think I have cystic acne-itis. It hasn't been diagnosed by a doctor but it's been diagnosed by ME! Never heard of it? That's because I just made it up. After sharing with my friends my battle stories with teenage acne a revelation occured. Each one of my friends who has turned 30 admitted that their skin went psycho, out of control, payback for the blue eyeshadow we made it go through in 7th grade. This is such a comfort!

I think I would rather have a bullet wound to the knee cap than reverberating pain of trying to pop a zit that doesn't want to be popped.

Have you ever looked up the word cyst? Well I just did. This is what's all over my face:

Pathology. An abnormal membranous sac containing a gaseous, liquid, or semisolid substance.
Anatomy. A sac or vesicle in the body.
Biology. A small capsulelike sac that encloses certain organisms in their dormant or larval stage.
Botany. A thick-walled resting spore, as in certain algae or fungi.

So basically I have an enormous, membranous, larval, resting spore on my face. And it's mad hot, hot mad!

History of Rebirth

I must post this poster created by Jason's friend, Liz, of our Rebirth cast. It's just too funny. We wondered why he wanted all these pictures of our faces. Ah ha! Bravo! Bravo!





















I will not be bleaching these brunette locks anytime soon.

Katy's Inconvenient Truth

I've heard great things about Al Gore's new movie, An Inconvenient Truth. I saw the previews for the movie and I can tell you that I probably won't see it. I'm sure that as a resident of this earth it's my duty to go see a movie that discusses the destruction of this planet because of the way we live, but the previews scare me. I'm afraid I'll walk away frightened that the earth will collapse at any moment. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by difficult situations or tragedies and I freeze. I adopt the "all or nothing" mentality. Sadly I sometimes think that if I can't save everything then I won't try and save anything. I think I just talked myself into going to see this movie. I'd rather see Nacho Libre.
















There's something about a man in tattered long johns. Now if we could get Al Gore in tattered long johns, that would be a movie!

I have an inconvenient truth for the people in my office. You know that can of aerosol spray that you keep in the bathroom? The one that's placed on the lone bathroom's sink? The one bathroom that's placed near the kitchen and provides an air path to our cubicals? It's depleting the ozone layer. And it's slowly killing me! I can't stand spray. FOR THE LOVE! Light a match! Or may I recommend using the building bathroom down the hall? That spray is toxic and it makes me unable to breathe. It closes off my windpipe and then brings thoughts of poisonous air. I hate smells. Never ask me to smell anything other than nature's flowers or fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. If you ask you'll just get a tight lipped shake of the head.

My roommates and I are trying to do our part for the eco-system. We're using the blue bag recycling system here in Chicago. I keep forgetting what we can recycle and which bag is for which material. We taped a list on top of our trash can so I'll remember. So far it's not helping. I'm visual. I need pictures. Maybe I'll print up pictures of what we recycle.

Pictures from The Phoenician

My room! All to myself! And this is only half of it.















I could have spent a week in this bathroom pampering myself. I have to applaude the water pressure. My apartment shower is more like being spit upon.















A room with a view!

You know the place is pretty incredible when you take pictures within the first 5 seconds of arriving. THANK YOU PHOENICIAN! I'm sensing a spa retreat weekend with the ladies!

The Phoenician

After checking into the hotel on Sunday night I took my key and looked at the envelope that came with it. There's a line where it says the name of the person staying in the room. Erin, who I travelled with, rolled her eyes as she mentioned that they called her "Miss." I had the upper hand on that story. They called me "Mr."

Sometimes I don't get what I deserve and then there are times when I get more than I deserve. After complaining for two months that I HAD to attend a work conference, in Phoenix, in the summer, my mouth finally shut...or maybe it would be more appropriate to say that it fell open to the floor. We pulled up to The Phoenician and my complaining stopped immediately. How did I not know we were staying at such a fantastic place and why did I not come here earlier in the weekend to enjoy everything?

Somehow at check-in I was upgraded to a suite. My room was bigger than my apartment and my balcony could host a 50 person cocktail party. I'll post views of the room and from the balcony soon. It was jaw dropping gorgeous. AND my bathroom was an enormous marble dream. THAT's what I call a work conference. I'll have to visit when my trip doesn't include 8-5 meetings.

Dallas Mav's

I want to give a shout out to my home team, The Dallas Mavericks! The fact that they are going to the NBA finals is unbelievable! It looks like Mark Cuban brought more to Dallas and the NBA than just his eccentricities. Kudos to you Mark! Your fanatical spirit caught on in a city that thought basketball had died.

Mavericks, you've come a long way since the days of Roy Tarpley. I wonder what ever happened to Roy Tarpley. I just looked him up and it says that he's now with the Michigan Mayhem in some Continental Basketball Association.

















Roy, you're remembered more for your drug habit than your basketball skills in Dallas.

I have to brag for a second. Well, it's not really bragging as much as it is name dropping. Rolando Blackman and Mark Aguirre (not McGuire) lived in my neighborhood. Once, Mark came over to my parents house and played a game of pick up basketball with Patrick and his friends. It's like so cool, I know. What? You don't remember Rolando Blackman and Mark Aguirre? They were drafted in 1980/81? Am I going to have to hunt down pictures so you'll remember them?








This tiny head is now the Assistant coach to the New York Knicks





















The Jordan of Dallas

Rolando is now the Assistant coach to the Mavericks. It looks like his dreams are coming true. Miracles do happen. We need to be patient enough to seem them and remember that our timing is not always God's timing. Also, our definition of success isn't always God's either. Thank you Rolando for helping us learn that lesson.

I feel waves of jealousy that my family gets to see the game tonight. It hurts! But I'm happy for them. Go Mavs! Some day I hope to meet these guys!

Post Secret & Found Magazine

Friday night I went to a reading of PostSecret.com and Found Magazine at the Intuit Art Gallery. It was fantastic! If you've never looked at these sites or read the books, PLEASE DO! Check to see if they are coming to your city because the readings are hilarious, sad and just plain wonderful!

PostSecret.com will be in Houston on June 6th and Austin on June 7th.

Love Lost

Today all hope of love is lost.

Nearly three months ago my roommate, Janell, was given a beta fish as a gift from a bride. The bride said that this fish was a symbol of hope for love. When the bride was single and new to the city she bought a beta fish. She had an understanding with God that the beta fish would live until she met her future husband. The day she met her now husband the fish died.

We named the crimson fish Mawiage. His name was in honor of the movie, "The Princess Bride." That's the ultimate story of love against all odds. And who doesn't love a priest with a speech impediment? Mawiage graced our kitchen table and often kept me company during breakfast. He quickly became an endearing joke to us and our friends.

Sadly Mawiage died today. After a run in Lincoln Park we came home to discover him laying on the rocks in his clear bowl. We all couldn't help mourning his death but we were probably mourning the loss of our hope for great love even more.

Mawiage is now swimming in beta fish heaven, more commonly known as the Chicago sewage system. After a few prayers for hope we flushed him down the toilet. Now I have a fear that when I go to the bathroom he'll suddenly come back. I think I'll use Jessie's bathroom for a while.

Texas Summers

I am not 15 anymore. This was made clear to me the other day after riding a wave runner multiple times on a windy and rough watered lake. The entire right side of my body is aching. I thought at one point that I must have slipped a disk. That's what people over the age of 30 do, they slip disks. I remember when I used to be able to slalom for 15 minutes at a time and barely break a sweat. Now I get jarred a few times by the waves and I think I've broken something...or everything. But it was so worth it!

I am concocting a plan of how I can spend my entire summer at my parents lake house and still get paid.














Who wouldn't want to stay here all summer?

I admit that I have experienced jealousy pangs of my little brother just beginning his three months of summer. Do you remember those days of studying hard for hours and days to make good grades on your finals and then suddenly you're done? The feeling of driving around in Bunny's old red blazer with the windows down and singing at the top of our lungs to Ace of Base's "All That She Wants is Another Baby" and realizing that we're done...DONE...can hardly be beat. All the summers held for me were a month of kamp (heaven on earth), cheerleading slumber parties and driving my friends in my cherry red 1992 Toyota Celica. Ahhhhhh, Texas summer nights.

Maybe I should become a teacher. I'm not sure what I would teach. I love art history but that would mean teaching at a collegiate level. Collegiate level = summer classes. Hmmmm, maybe not.

Another thing I love about Texas summers is the feeling of walking inside and feeling the blast of cold air on a 100 degree day. Then there's the thawing out as you leave the ice box buildings and step into the heat. Fresh cut grass, cold lemonade, icy watermelon, cookouts, luke warm pools, baseball games on the radio, cicadas, cold dark movie theaters, lightening bugs, sunburned skin, no makeup, slapping of bare feet on hot cement, 9:00 p.m. sunsets, late night ice cream runs...all of these are a part of my childhood. This past weekend made us feel like kids again.

Or lab rats...

Therapy Session

I've written about a couple of my dreams in the past but I usually try to avoid it. But sometimes dreams are more honest and telling about your life and your feelings than you could ever be to yourself. Apparently I try to be anything but honest with myself and try to avoid negative feelings at all costs. Those feelings then build up and the flood gates come crashing down and you find yourself curled up on the couch trying to find a dry sleeve to wipe your tear stained face on while watching a commercial that involves puppies and little kids.

I took an aptitude test when I was a sophomore in college. After eight hours of grueling tests I was told that a) they couldn't figure me out; b) I will probably be in school for the rest of my life; and c) whatever I do I should work for myself. I'm realizing that all three of these things are true.

A) I can't figure myself out either! I have too many passions and my desire for adventure contradicts my desire to have a family.

B) I love learning and school is the best place to learn (outside of life experience). I think the reason I want to be an actress is so that I can learn and do everything. I may be master of none and mediocre of all but at least I'd get to do it all!

C) The realization that I should work for myself has never been truer than NOW! No details necessary but I would love the freedom to be able to GO! Just GO anywhere at anytime, be with anyone who needs my help or wants a companion to join them on a camping trip in Guatemala.

A couple of nights ago I had a dream that I was visiting Heather Armstrong of Dooce.com. We were hanging out with her daughter, Leta, just talking about life. I remember I finally built up the nerve to ask her how someone makes a living as a blogger. This one question has two points of significance. The first is that I would love the freedom that blogging brings. I could do it from anywhere at anytime. Awesome! Secondly, the question was barely audible when it came out of my mouth and no one heard. That's significant because I have a history of thinking that people are not interested in the things I have to say sometimes. I'll share an example: 10 people sit in a circle and catch up on the highs and lows of their year. We go in a circle and people are crying and laughing and really getting to share their struggles. I'm the last one to share and just when I begin speaking of the difficulties of the past year, a baby starts crying and everyone turns their focus to the baby and we never finish the sharing. That's just one of a billion out there. Becky says it's unbelievable how many times she's witnessed this happen to me (so it's not just me having a complex!)...and she's always quick to protect me. I also think that it shows I might be a little fearful to go after the things I really want.

I am fascinated by dreams and how they reveal the truth of life. I am also fascinated by the thought of making a living as a blogger! How does one do it?!!

Oh Wise One!

Who doesn't love learning more about oneself?

Your results:
You are Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan Kenobi 74% Yoda 72% Padme 70% Princess Leia 68% R2-D2 66% Qui-Gon Jinn 65% An Ewok 61% Luke Skywalker 60% Han Solo 54% Jar Jar Binks 53%

You are civilized, calm, and have a good sense of humor, even when those around you don't. You can hold your own in a fight, but prefer it when things don't get too exciting.

(This list displays the top 10 results out of a possible 21 characters)


Click here to take the "Which Star Wars character am I?" quiz...

Thanks Kellsey for the idea! I guess you and I are one in the same! I like Obe-Wan Kenobi. He's good people. Praise the Lord Jar Jar Binks is the bottom of the barrell for me. "Meso thinks......blah blah blah." And let me just say that Luke Skywalker is a WHINER!!! Just like his dad as a young man. Oh and they also fail to mention that I have great power over people. With a wave of my hand I can have anything I want.

The Cubs

The only winning thing the Cubs have going for them these days is this guy right here:





















'Sup y'all! Sportin' the Cubbie Blue.

Check out those thighs. Those are power thighs, as in, future power pitcher thighs. If he were drafted now, I'd predict the Cubs could be World Series Champs by 2007.

You see mostly Connor's mom and dad in the face. But what you might have missed is that he also resembles his aunt, Katy (ie. ME). That little crease in the left thigh says it all. Watch out that crumbs don't get stuck in that flap of skin because that can lead to a bacterial disease.

Connor and I will be reunited this weekend over ice cream sandwiches and brats. And yes, we will eat them in that order.

Shoe Fix

Due to my downtrodden state yesterday, I decided to self-medicate. Self-medication = shoe shopping. I went to the mother of all shoe stores. No it wasn't DSW, Target or Lori's "the Sole of Chicago." I'm talking about the Nordstrom shoe department. When you work blocks away and you need a little pick me up, Nordstrom never disappoints. I made a purchase.



















Picture these shoes but in a mustard yellow. They are so ugly that they're cute. Picture them with a nice pair of dark jeans, capri pants or a white skirt. Fabuloso! They remind me of the shoes (aka. house slippers) Auntie wore back when I was growing up.

So did they make me happy? Oh, they sure did for at least a good 18 hours. I only had to apply one bandaid at my heel to stop the shoe from slicing my achilles. But they are rather comfortable and can be worn walking long distances.

Stuck

I've been a bit down this week and I can figure out if it's because I'm paying my monthly dues or if it's because I really am unsatisfied with life at the moment. Both ingredients probably factor into the whole.

While talking with Becky last night I came up with an analogy of how I am feeling. I feel like I'm running behind or I'm late for something big. I am stuck at a stop light while all the other cars seem to be able to get where they are going. I am unsure of where I'm headed and the map in my hand is unreadable and doesn't make sense.

I know where I want to be but I don't know how to get there and the path I'm taking just isn't getting me there as soon as I'd like. Waiting is the hardest part of life at the moment. I'm restless to make something happen but it's not for me to decide. How exactly does "active faith" work?

I don't like being late and waiting makes me anxious. It's the "character building" phase of life. This character better be worth it!

Conan O'Brien LIVE!

The Lord hath laid His hands upon me and blessed me! Last Friday I skipped work so I could stand under the el in 40 degree weather and spitting rain for five and a half hours. Doesn't that sound like a blessing? No? Well, maybe it will once I tell you that I stood there for five and a half hours in my winter garb huddled next to thousands of strangers so I could see CONAN O'BRIEN!

Jason's original date couldn't make it so I begged and pleaded "Take me! Take me!" We met at 10:00 am at State and Lake to wait in line to see Conan. We were one of the first 50 or enthusiastic fans to brave the inclement weather. Jason and I now know everything about each other and I know a little too much about the strangers that surrounded us. I was in people watching paradise! You know what's annoying? Twenty or so people who think they are really funny and think that everyone should get to experience the joy of their humor. One such commedian was kicked out of line right before my very eyes. I actually felt sorry for him.

Three hours into the stand-off I was losing hope. My hands were white with numbness, my legs ached from standing in one spot and I couldn't feel my feet. Just when I thought I couldn't take much more of it, I hear the crowd begin to scream. Then I see a thin long legged redhead running across the street with cameras following him. He jumps up right infront of us and yells to the crowd, "Thank you for being the best fans in the world! Thank you for waiting in this horrible weather! We have free pizza for all of you!" Next thing I know, Uno's is handing out HOT deep dish pizza to everyone. Conan rushes down the line to shake everyone's hand. My frozen hand stuck in the air waited for his touch. He shook everyone's hand around me (probably wanted to avoid the dead looking hand) and then must have seen my pleading face. He looked me in the eye and shook my hand. I wish I could have felt it.

I suddenly had rejuvenated enthusiasm that helped me wait it out the next two and a half hours. We really looked like cattle in a corral. People were shoving each other trying to get further up in the line. People become nasty in a crowd. Just when they began hurding us into the theater, I grabbed Jason's hand and prepared myself for battle. I have never been hit or shoved so many times...by WOMEN! They were the worst. At one point Jason and I looked at a girl and both said, "Just CHILL!"

We found seats right by the band and had a perfect view of Conan. It was such a great experience and worth every freezing second. Wouldn't you know it! My camera died just before Conan gave us free pizza. So you'll just have to believe me! Thank you Jason!



















Sam actually got to meet Conan. I was bitter for a second.

Season Finale Review: Grey's Anatomy

Last night was a blatant abuse of my emotions. They tried every possible avenue to make me cry...and it worked! Let's recount the story lines that touched my soul and made me cry (in chronological order):

1. The aftermath of Dr. Burke being shot. He's HOT and it's just a shame that someone that hot had to be shot. His perfect shoulder is now ruined. But I'm sure it will make for a sexy scar.

2. Izzie. She scared me and I cried out of fear for my life and the lives of all the interns. Someone put her in an institution so we can all be safe.

3. The niece who missed her prom because her cancer came back and she's going to die. How could they be so ruthless? There's only one other thing that is more ruthless than a teenage girl dying of cancer:

4. A dog dying of Cancer. I cried the hardest when they put Doc to sleep. This probably ranked a level 8 on my scale of hysterical crying. I would have rather watched the whole cast of Grey's Anatomy die than have to re-watch the death of Doc. Question: how could they so easily go to a prom after such a tragic ending to a loved one?

5. Denny's heart working. I like Denny. It's too bad that he fell in love with a psycho doctor who tried to kill him. I don't care how pretty she is or the size of her boobs.

6. George and Callie kissing. Callie resembled a line backer. George resembled a little boy who used gel on his hair for the first time. I cried because I thought Callie was going to crush George.

7. Christine. I like you so much. Why did you become heartless while watching Burke struggle? Burke, I'm better than she is and I would have been by your side the whole time! I'd go fishing with you!

8. Denny dying. I called this one early and therefore began crying 7.2 minutes before it happened. And Izzie...your dress. Ick.

9. Meredith and Derek. I don't care for you Meredith. But, I definitely don't think that McDreamy has any right to love you. I didn't cry for either one of you. In fact, you pained me. I cried because Meredith's pretty dress swallowed her alive. I think she is emaciating before our very eyes.

10. Alex. Thank you for being the one sane person on the show last night. Remember when you were Massimo? Wasn't that fun? You had a terrible fake accent, you got to wrestle on the ground with Matthew McConaughey and you were rejected by Jennifer Lopez? I love that movie.

11. Finally. Finn. You have no idea how much Meredith DOES NOT deserve you.

No Privacy

The downside of working in a cube: everyone can hear when you have to announce on the phone that you're about to start your period.

The upside of working in a cube: everyone knows to STAY OFF YOUR BACK!

Free Comic Book Day

Visit Komikazee.com to read my second article about Comic Books. I attended my first ever Free Comic Book Day!

Huge Praise

Thank you for your many prayers. It looks like Ella is fighting this disease! She is still "critical" but is improving greatly. This is her parents blog that will fill you in on the details over the past few days. It truly is a miracle! Again, thank you!

Try This David Blaine

So we all know David Blaine, the stunt performer. He recently pulled his latest stunt, Drowned Alive. Yes he survived a week in a snow globe filled with water and lived! But he came away with some nasty rashes and liver failure. Most frat boys would call that a weekend. I think he's a glutton for pain.

Speaking of pain and craizay people...I have some thoughts for David Blaine and what he should try next:

1) Walk around Chicago in a pair of 3 inch heels for 3 hours straight in a pencil skirt during 80% humidity.

2) Chaperone an 8th grade lock-in at Crystals Pizza.

3) Have someone repeatedly tell him he looks like a softball player.

4) Wax everything on his body. Wait...looks like he already has it all waxed.

5) Eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's while watching an episode of LOST all the while forgetting that he's lactose intolerant.

6) Experience first day period cramps and still have to go to work or take care of five kids who want to go to Toys R'Us so they can spend their allowance.

7) Try on bathing suits under flourescent lights after six months of dead winter while a woman keeps popping in to ask if everything is okay and comment on how the suit looks on his body. And NO FAKE TANS ALLOWED!

8) Give birth.

I think these should leave him with a good challenge.

Please Pray

Please pray for my friends, Joe and Andrea, who just had a baby girl yesterday afternoon. The pregnancy and delivery were healthy, but little Ella started having problems breathing soon after she was born. Ella is now in NICU and having seizures. They are not sure what is wrong. Please pray for God to reveal what is happening, that it is easily treatable and that Joe and Andrea will have a peace beyond understanding.

Which Superhero are You?

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 75% Supergirl 73% Superman 70% Wonder Woman 63% Robin 53% The Flash 50% Green Lantern 45% Iron Man 40% Catwoman 25% Hulk 20% Batman 5%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Duck Headed Canes

So this morning I walked into a bar. . .and it hurt. Get it? Hahahahahaha. Aw, man! Why didn't I wear my waterproof mascara? But seriously, I did walk into a bar and it did hurt. As I was about to walk through the gauntlet to enter the el I must have been thinking about some hilarious sketch I was going to create about a guy who is infatuated with canes that have duck heads.





















"Slap me some skin!"

Next thing I know I'm trying to go through the turnstile and it hits me right at the hip bones. I almost sommersalted over the thing. I quickly look up and look around me while making noises that are unintelligible but imply "Oh my gosh I'm such an idiot. Can you believe I tried to walk through here without paying first? And would you look at that! I have the card right here in my hand! I also just ordered the greatest pair of shoes off the Banana Republic website. Score!"

I have on the same pink sweater that I wore the day I forgot my wallet. It must be the sweater. BURN IT!

Conan O'Brien

My friends make fun of me because I can't pronounce "Conan" correctly. I say it like "Conan the Barbarian" instead of "Co-nen". Wait, maybe I've said that wrong my whole life too. That would be the case.



















It's almost like he's Jabba the Hutt after using the "Bowflex" and drinking protein shakes.

They also make fun of me because I say "booze-um" instead of "bosom." Maybe it's because I'm a Texan.

Did you know that Conan, aka. Conaane, is hosting his show from the great city of Chicago this week? That's all we've heard about for the past month or so. My friend, Jason, was lucky enough to win two tickets in a contest. Unfortunately, I was not asked to attend with him. It's probably better that way. I can't even pronounce the hosts' name correctly. But here's a great interview with Conan where he talks about Chicago, Second City and the influence improv has on his work.

I'm 30 years old. When Conan was 30, he just got the "Late Night" gig. That's enough to make me want to stick my head in an oven. Not really. No need to intervene and put me on prozac.

Guess who jumped in a cab Friday night only to be immediately pulled over by a Police Paddy Wagon? Yours truly! The police officer made me and Jess wait in the taxi while he talked with the driver outside of the car. With wide eyes, Jess and I kept looking around wondering why the police pulled the cab over. And the other party of me wondered why my friends who were sitting on the stoop of a house didn't see us get pulled over and wonder what was going on. That hurts. But alas we were safe and the driver only got a parking ticket for "not pulling completely over to the curb when picking up a passenger." Who knew that existed? Good thing he didn't pull completely over because he would have hit us. Poor guy just trying to take care of his two cute kids. Jess and I wrote a letter in protest of the ticket on the drivers behalf. Changing the world one letter at a time.

Another Take

You all remember Robert, the one who was "sooooooo bored" and still dissed me and Jess? Well, we have definitely bonded since then. I'll stop and say hi as he takes in some fresh air on the stoop (all two steps of it). He shared stories about how he loves to make jumbalaya and how he wrote a book on his horrific and tragic Hurricane Katrina experience. I really felt like we were building a friendship.

Yesterday was nothing out of the ordinary. He was on the "stoop" and said hello to me and Jess. Jessie went to help a friend unload some things from her car. That left Robert and I a few moments alone. Again, it was nothing out of the ordinary. Robert got a little nervous and said, "I'd like to pay you a compliment." I got all excited and would welcome anyone paying me a compliment! He said, "Well, I won't tell you it now. (long pause with nervous laughter) I just chickened out!" "Robert! I don't bite!" He, a married man, then put it out there, "Well, I just wanted to tell you that you're GORGEOUS. I mean....you are....FINE!" (nervous laughter from all parties involved) Then with nervous rambling and scarcely a breath taken I say, "Gee, thanks Robert. Wow, that's so nice of you. I mean, I really needed to hear that because, you know, some random guy told me yesterday that I looked like a SOFTBALL player! I mean, can you believe that? Pshh! I know, it's all "innocent" and everything ("innocent" being said with physical quotation gesture). So thanks." (long awkward pause) "Alrighty then, I'm going to go see if I can help Jess."

I just can't take a compliment; especially one that's so emphatic and from a married man! But hey, it's MUCH better than "softball player!"

How NOT to Hit on a Girl

Last night Jessie and I decided we would really try to get active, get social and get involved with our church. I've been there for two and a half years and haven't really been connected since the first 3 months (when I really wanted to meet new people). They planned a bowling social for last night and we thought that would be harmless and fun. Usually I try to avoid these things because of their "meet market" tendencies * GAG * (open mouth, insert index finger and produce gagging noises). So after talking ourselves out of staying home to watch Everwood we drove to the bowling alley.

We were on time, of course. Thankfully there were others there who cared about timeliness. Five minutes later we were bowling on lane 5. Paige, Rob and Luke joined me and Jessie as we attempted a 300. We were having fun chatting and asking questions like, "Sooooo....how long have you lived in Chicago? Oh, you're a native? I didn't know those existed anymore. Hee hee." I sucked it up and became "Outgoing Katy." She's exhausting. I think Luke was trying to be social and decided to ask me, "Did you play sports growing up?" "Yeah. Why?" "Did you play softball?" "No, why?" "Oh, you look like a softball player." "Excuse me?" "You look like a softball player." "WHAT. THE. HELL?!!!!" You could just see that I was about to leap over those plastic seats and punch him in the face (which didn't help the "softball" comment). "NO! I am not a lesbi.. I mean, NO! Hell NO! WHA?" Notice how I filtered my comments. I mean, I was with people I didn't know. He of course saw that he had obviously made a mistake and tried to cover it up by saying, "I mean, you look like you have quite an arm, like you could, like, throw the ball really far."

And there in that moment my life changed forever. No more lifting weights for me. Yes, I am strong. Could I probably throw a ball far? Yes. Was I throwing a 10 lbs. bowling ball at dizzying speeds toward the pins? Yes. So now I'm going to live off of broccoli and cauliflower. And I'm only going to eat that at breakfast. Shelby and I will have to change our training regiment to speed walking for 8 hours a day. And I am NEVER, and I repeat, NEVER, going to leave the house without lipstick.



















Okay, so she's not a lesbian. But she could still hurt someone.















There's just no explaining her.

Please Forward

I've added a tickity-tic-ticker to my blog this week. Now I can track how many people visit my blog to see if I actually have any readers! Wouldn't you know it that it's only been a couple of days and I've already had 150 visits? I know! I too am shocked. And the cool part is that not quite all of them have been from me!

Would you be a kind dear and forward this web address to any and everyone you know and just tell them how much you just laugh and laugh and laugh when you read my site. You can also tell them it will make them feel better about themselves and even make them feel even smarter. And if we all felt better and smarter there's no telling what we could accomplish!

There's a fun new feature too. Just click on the little envelope by the comments section and you can email whatever friends you may have easily.

Thank you so very much!

Monk-E-Mail

Make someones day by sending them a hilarious Monk E-Mail brought to you by careerbuilder.com. Don't ask why I was on careerbuilder.com. I'm not looking for a new job okay.

MASHER does Me

Jessie had the luxury of using M.A.S.H.E.R to give me peace about my future. I mean who wouldn't want to spend summers in a double-wide with Mark Ruffalo?

Katy marries Mark Ruffalo, both naked, with 500 of her closest friends and family attending, at a beach in San Francisco. They reside in an apartment with their 1 child (not named Aristotle) on the hot beaches of So. Cal.! She gets around in her lexus SUV when she's not at home
writing harlequin novels. In the summer the R's can be found in their
double wide at Lincoln Love Trailer Park in Decatur. If you would
like to contact the couple they will be arriving home next week from their honeymoon of love in Croatia. [written by Cousin Jessie]

Hello future husband who is already married to another woman. I'm hoping he's mormon.

MASHER does Jessie

My cousin, Jessie's future as told by M.A.S.H.E.R and M.A.S.H.E.R never lies!!

Budding Broadway star Jessica Lindsay just married the sexy
nerd, Zac Braff after a paternity test revealed that her daughter was indeed his
spawn. They named their daughter Mandy Moore. Using their borrowed Lincoln Town Car they moved the new family to their home in the wonderful city of Decatur, IL. There they had their wedding and their honeymoon. They can’t get enough of that place. But Jessie does like to shake things up a bit and spends the summers with Britney and Kevin Federline in Hawaii. That way they can be barefoot and
pregnant all they want.

CODE RED! CODE RED!

This morning started out beautifully. I was alive and fully awake when my alarm chimed. I journaled my deep thoughts and enjoyed a delicious bowl of Cinnamon Life cereal. Walking out the door wearing my spring pink the sun greeted my face. I was able to snag a seat on the el and had just enough time to stroll to White Hen to grab a morning coffee and a snack for later.

Is this too good to be true? No, it was true! But then it became all TOO true. You know what I mean? Do you really?

I created my culinary treat of decaf coffee with a little bit of cream and a couple of Splendas. With my coffee mixed to perfection I perused the latest flavors of Zone Bars. They were the exact same flavors they have been for the past year. I made my selection and joined a line of others waiting to pay and get on with their bread winning and life changing careers. I began to grow a little impatient as I waited and waited for a whole two people who chatted it up at the register. Ugh, how DARE they do that to me! I had many busy and important things to do when I got to the office. Myspace was waiting! When they finally exited the door I sashayed my way to the counter. Then an unknown fear suddenly grew. I couldn't quite place it. No matter. After the beep of each item being rung up I began to search for my wallet. Unlike those peope in front of me I am efficient. I've always prided myself on my efficiency. I don't like to have people waiting for me or to have to be "put out" because of me. Therefore, I've perfected time saving techniques! As I opened my bag the origin of my fear finally revealed itself. I LEFT MY WALLET AT HOME! Saying, "Uh nuh" (out loud) sweat beads began to form on my upper lip and my brow. I frantically went through possible stashes of money I had hidden in pockets. With pleading eyes I said, "I seem to have left my wallet at home. But I do have my checkbook." With a stare that seemed to convey to me, "YOU'RE RETARTED!" she said they cannot take checks. "Oh, I see. Of course." (embarassed mumbling) "I'm so sorry. Well, I guess I'll just go. Sorry, I already made the coffee. Sorreeeeeeeeeeee (to let her again that I know the depth of my stupidity)." Walking away with a line of people in suits and sneakers staring at me I hear "Ma'am." I turn around and she just says, "take the coffee because now it's just GARBAGE!" I meekly walk over with my tail between my legs, grab the coffee and just short of running turn and make my way out of the store.

Now I'm sitting here wondering how I'm supposed to take my friend, Jolene, out for her birthday lunch today.

And you do you know why I don't have my wallet this morning? Yes it IS partially because I'm an IDIOT! But it also has to do with the fact that I went to the dreaded store last night. I actually had a great experience there and seemed to have "enjoyed" myself while shopping for foods. BUT once again, the grocery store reveals itself as the foundation for my MISERY and inadequacy in life!

Monday Evening Thoughts

Two random thoughts yesterday while talking with the roommates:

1) If you had to choose how you would die what would be your choice? On a tandem bicycle with my roommates crossing lakeshore drive. (If we ever rode a tandem bicycle across lakeshore we surely would die).













2) If you had to have a personalized license plate what would it say? TXS GRRL or maybe OB GYN.

Rejection Hurts

Jessie and I were heading out to see Thank You for Smoking (still have a celebrity crush on Aaron Eckhardt, as I've had for years, even though I'm not supposed to have those anymore) last night. Fabulous movie but that's another story. And we run into our downstairs neighbor, Robert. Robert is great. He's a cute man who moved up here from New Orleans with is wife after Hurricane Katrina. His wife is often back in New Orleans working and therefore he gets bored. So we ask how he's doing as we're walking out the front door and he says, "I'm soooooooooo bored!" Well I never like seeing anyone in any pain so I ask if he would like to join Jessie and I in our movie adventure. He responds, "Can I take a rain check?" Ouch, that hurts. I was rejected by someone who was "Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bored." Am I THAT bad? Even boredom sounds more fun than hanging out with the likes of me? Maybe next time I'll bribe him with homemade cookies. Well, Jessie's homemade cookies because I only bake so often.

Jabba the Hutt

Someone looks eerily like Jabba the Hutt.

Connor and Me

I finally got to meet Connor last weekend. I have to admit that he stole my heart right away. Erin and Chris let me spend the night at their house Thursday so Connor and I could hang out all night. I only lasted until 12:30 before falling asleep. He's too much of a night owl for me. He slept right on my chest with his head under my chin for almost two hours. When he and Erin drove away on Sunday night I almost cried. It made it really hard to leave Texas this time. This just means I'll have to visit more often! I am already planning on going back for Memorial Day. I am always in awe of how my family loves each other.

Bring Back the 90's!

Chris and Marissa had their engagement party in Dallas this weekend when I was home. It was a 90's themed party. It was brilliant. I debated between wearing Jessie Spano spandex from her overdose episode or my cheerleading outfit from high school. In the end I selected perhaps the best outfit of the night. Elaine! Elaine from Seinfeld! I found everything I needed in my mothers closet. She promptly told me that she is burning everything I picked. I wore a black skirt that did nothing but make me look frumpy. The silk multi-patterned shirt with the trademark gold necklace just sitting under the color began to pull the outfit together. The black blazer did even more to channel Elaine. But the two things that sealed the deal were the white ankel socks with black shoes and the sky high hair. I used so much hairspray that my hair was crunchy. Unfortunately it began to fall through out the night. But I loved it. I whipped out a few of her dance moves and the party started.

Mrs. Walsh from 90210 visited as well as Kelly Taylor and Brandon Walsh. Grunge band fans and a few others came too. What a great party!

Excuse Me Sir

Today I stayed home sick. I sound like I'm in a tunnel and that something is perpetually holding my nose. I think I must have swallowed glass last night in my sleep. That's how bad the throat felt this morning. Aww, poor Katy. Now that I have your sympathy, I am going to ask for it again.

I scheduled an appointment on Monday to have my eyebrows waxed at Nordstrom. It's right down the street from work and Belinda does a fabulous job. I couldn't cancel today because it was too close to my appointment time and would have had to pay if I skipped. Eh, who am I kidding? I needed my eyebrows waxed BAD! So I had my hair in a ponytail (did I brush it? nope). I wore my favorite sweats from Target and my favorite black fleece that also seconds as a blanky for me on occassion. As I drive into the Nordstrom parking garage there are two valets who will park your car. I pull up and as I'm beginning to roll down my window I hear the dreaded, oh so humiliating, "Yes Sir, how can I help you?" Ummmm, SIR?!!!!! As I finished rolling down the window I hear him say, "Oh, I'm so sorry. So sorry about that." All that came out of my mouth was, "Yeah.....welllllllllll.....whatever." Not only am I feeling sick and unattractive, but my eyebrows are in serious need of a wax. I DID NOT NEED THIS! Granted I do drive a car that is more masculine but PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE!!! All I wanted to do was get out of the car and point at my backside and say, "Do 'sirs' have a backside like this? I don't think so! And if they did, I would call them ma'am!" Instead I just acted like it happens all the time, no big deal, and kept on doing my thing. Heaven forbid that I make him feel uncomfortable.

In all honesty, it had to have been the flourescent lights blinding him from seeing through the tinted windows. Sure. I think I'm going to go shower now and make myself look more feminine.

www.komikazee.com

I'm published! Well, sort of... You may remember me mentioning the fact that my brother-in-law, Chris, has created a website for comic enthusiasts. He thought it would be fun if I wrote an article or two on occassion. Considering I've had no experience with Comic books, I chose to write about that. It's fun to see people comment on where I should begin this obsession. You can read my article here. You might recognize the sarcastic, self-depricating tone I bring to this blog.

Take a moment or two to peruse the site. It's really a fantastic website for enthusiasts and wanna-be's alike. Spread the word!

Charmed Bracelet

Do you remember when charm bracelets were everything? I remember when James Avery was everything. How my heart rejoiced over small silver trinkets like dangle rings, charms and necklaces. In 6th grade I was simply going to DIE if I didn't have a pair of rings to share between me and my best friend. I was desperately trying to find a best friend who could wear the "be...fri" to match my "st...end" dangle ring. Match them together and you have "best friend." Awe. Sigh.

Today I decided to wear my charm bracelet that I've had since I was in junior high. Slowly but surely I obtained charms that represented my high school years. If someone was to look at my wrist they would wonder what kid I stole this from.

The following is a list of charms and what they represent:
1) basketball: because I was an athlete. I may have been short but I was feisty.
2) A+: beating all the odds I was obsessed with making good grades.
3) volleyball: still one of my favorite sports.
4) sweet 16 heart: obviously I got this when I turned 16.
5) megaphone: go Trojans! If it's not obvious enough, I was a cheerleader.
6) heart with a "K": I'll give you 3 guesses.
7) tennis racket: because my dad desperately wanted me to play tennis.
8) snow skis: because I desperately wanted to be an olympic downhill skier. still do.
9) welsh corgi: I had a welsh corgi growing up named woofie.
10) "st...end" : please see above
11) clown: because I was funny? I don't remember getting this one. Clowns scare me. Poltergeist scarred me for life.

I haven't received a charm since. But if I were to continue to fill my charm bracelet today I would choose the following:
1) pint of Ben and Jerry's: does this really need an explanation? see all posts
2) computer: because it's slowly sucking my life away.
3) bottle of clearisil: because I still have teenage acne at the ripe old age of 30.
4) an Oscar: because I will win one someday DAMMIT!
5) marathon medal: to remind me that I was once somebody.
6) charm that dispenses floss: so I won't have any excuses for not flossing after a meal.
7) bridesmaids dress: I spent most of my vacation days this year in a bridesmaid dress.
8) best aunt: because Connor would want me to have it. I only speak truth.
9) inhaler: to use when climbing the steps for the el.
and finally 10) laser gun: to represent NO MORE WAXING!!!

Wow, what an exciting life I do lead!

Glutton . . . FOR PUNISHMENT!

Why is the roof of my mouth and my tongue burned and raw this morning? Sam and I were inspired by the hundreds of frozen pizzas being given away after the Cubs game. Should I have eaten a pizza at 10:30 p.m.? No. Would waiting longer than 5 seconds after removing the pizza from the oven before consuming it been a good idea? Yes. Was my judgment clouded by melted cheese and a crispy crust? Always. Did my raw mouth stop me from eating crunchy cereal for breakfast? Never. Were baked lays at lunch a bad idea? Sure. Should I have visited the burn unit at the hospital last night? Possibly. So many questions and even more flaws. As my embroidered pillow that quotes Charlie Brown says, "I lay awake one night and say aloud, 'What could have gone wrong?' a voice answers back, 'This could take more than one night.'"

Most people give up an item of decadent food for lent to show their love for God. I on the other hand must have given up healthy food for lent. Beginning Sunday it's back to dry chicken, undressed salad and water for me. Can't wait.

Poop Face

You know I had to post it. This picture makes me crack up every time I look at it.

Another Slip

The windows in our apartment are VERY drafty. We've had issues with the windows from the beginning. Had you visited our apartment this winter you would have noticed the dazzling plastic covering the windows to block the draft. It really was beautiful the way the Christmas Tree lights reflected off of the rippling plastic. The maintenance man also sealed up the in the rotting wood by using a clear sealer. The smell alone made me high for a week.

Seeing as the plastic has finally been taken off of the windows and the sealer prevents us from opening the windows to let in the spring air, I decided to take it upon myself to remove the sealer. It's gummy in texture and easily pulls away from the window. There was so much sealer it was astonishing and caused me to say:

"Look how much cock we needed this winter!"

I meant to say "caulk." Dangit! Too much time with you Second City people. You're ruining my innocence!

Super Connor!

Connor is cooler than I am. He has his own website and he's only a month old. My brother-in-law is obviously a fanatic of comics. Check out the new family at SuperConnor.com

Tears, BIG Tears

Sunday night I happily found myself on the couch huddled with my roommates watching Grey's Anatomy. Sometimes there's nothing better than putting on your p.j.'s at 8:00 p.m. and watching the evening lineup. Usually I am doing something at all hours of the day. I'm just like my dad. There's too much of this world to explore and experience to waste it sitting on the couch. But Sunday night I couldn't have been happier. It also made me realize that I need to do more of nothing sometimes so I can truly appreciate life's adventures.

My cousin, Jessie, made me aware a few months ago that I like to guess what's going to happen in movies or t.v. Not only do I guess, but I guess OUT LOUD, ALL THE TIME! I think it's because I like to sound smart or guess things before they happen so I can say things like, "I told you so." But the humorous part is that I'm just shy of being ALWAYS WRONG! We laugh that I have a 35% chance of being correct. Frankly, I think that's a generous number. When I do get something right everyone knows it. I must be the most annoying person with whom one could watch 2-dimensional entertainment. I would like to just go ahead now and apologize to anyone who watches t.v. with me or will one day watch t.v. with me. I just can't help myself!

The emotional exploitation of Sundays episode of Grey's Anatomy didn't disappoint. I mean, when that dying lady (Jackie from Roseanne; aka: Laurie Metcalf) was sharing life's wisdom with her daughter I almost lost it. Then when she got to the part telling her daughter that she will one day have a child it's the most important part of her life, blah blah blah, I was sobbing. I'm talking hands to the face, tears spewing, guttoral groans...the works. I think I scared my cousin. Jessie only moved in with me in August. I haven't watched many movies or television in the past 8 months so she had yet to experience the joy that is me being emotional ripped apart while watching either one. Janell just patted her on the leg and said, "it's normal."

Jessie cries in life, I cry in movies...t.v. shows...commercials...emails...stories...books. It takes a lot for me to cry in life. Jessie is stone cold when it comes to sappy emotional stories. But then there are those rare times when I just can't stop the tears. Yesterday my best friend had the joy of confronting me. I'm not the easiest person to confront. As we learned earlier, I like to be right and I like to never do anything wrong...or anything that would merrit a confrontation. It's not that I'm unteachable, I just don't like disappointing anyone. And to me confrontation = disappointment. That's basically what she had to confront me about: I'm unconfrontable! She said it in a very gentle and loving way. And when people are gentle and loving towards me, I cry, and then I can't talk. I mean I can talk, but it takes about a minute per word. I think I was just emotionally drained too...ready to cry. You know what I'm saying? No? Girl talk. The great thing is that once I cry, I'm good to go. I'm ready to face the world again and I feel 100% better. I'm such a girl. Sometimes I cry just for the sake of needing a good cry. You know what helps? A good song....or maybe watching Little Women.

Second City Graduation

It's official, I am finally a graduate of The Second City Conservatory! We even had a graduation ceremony. There really wasn't anything ceremonial about the graduation. There was a short beer and pizza party afterwards and then we walked across the stage to shake a few hands and receive a t-shirt. Then we got kicked out so they could clean up. The best part of the night was celebrating with everyone. The experience was great but it's the people that really made the difference. It's great to look back and see how much we've grown as performers and friends.

Our last show was a perfect ending to the run of REBIRTH performances. We just wanted to have fun and I think we did. Our scenes were still fun to watch and continue to make me laugh even though I've seen them a thousand times. As an ensemble member I noticed small changes that made the scenes even better. We're proud of our performance and think we have every right to be proud.

Thank you to everyone who walked with me during this journey. You're as much a part of this as the people on the stage.

My Main Squeeze

Finally, the Fam sent more pictures of Connor. This was my favorite. Only two more weeks until I get to meet him!

My Future

My dad mailed me this newspaper clipping in the mail. I just received it yesterday. Along with it came a post-it that reads, "Kathryn, What a great horoscop - we're not supposed to believe in them - but whatever!"

Here it is:

IF MARCH 12 IS YOUR BIRTHDAY: Singer, actress, performer Liza Minelli shares
your birthday. You have style! You're bold, daring and original. You don't do
things halfway. Furthermore, you have the courage to take a risk. These
qualities make you attractive to others. (Actually, you amaze them.) Always
trust your enthusiastic impulses. You might experience a change in this coming
year.

Isn't that just GREAT? I read this and think, "DANG! I wish this really was me!" So the conclusion is that I need to take more risks this year. I just mailed out my headshot/resume to some agents. Isn't that a risk? I risk rejection. Isn't it a risk to be associated with Liza Minelli? I rest my case.

March Madness Update

I, Katy, am ranked second in the NCAA tournament challenge. Maybe I should clarify, I'm ranked second out of the little group my brothers friends started. The fact that I went from twelfth to second in a matter of hours is A MIRACLE!!! They've been exchanging emails back and forth, trash talking. But now look who's on top! Oh no. I think I just jinxed myself. I hope I don't have to eat those words. Dear Lord, I pray that I don't have to eat those words.

REBIRTH Finale

See this group of people? Don't we just look talented? Don't you just want to laugh already just by looking at our faces? No? Well, YOU'RE BORING! Oh wait, you were kidding. Got it. So you do think we're funny? Oh, well then you'll have to see the show. The FINAL show. So sad but true, we're graduating from The Second City Conservatory on Monday night. Come see us on the E. T. C. stage at 8:00pm. We perform with two other VERY talented groups: Jamaica University and Box Movers. I promise we'll sign autographs....or I promise we won't. Whichever you prefer...

It's amazing how much REBIRTH has been through. We love each other like brothers and sisters and we fight like it too sometimes. But I think in the end we've all been drawn together and have finally formed a unique respect for one another. We're seeing how each one of us must play a part for the whole picture to come together. There's the loud, funny guy. The smart witty guy. The bumbling hilariously awkward guy. The woman with a flare for the dramatic. The woman who never ceases to surprise you. The woman who is not afraid to be graphic. The woman who will support you in anything. The woman who brings energy to every scene. Where do I fit in all of this? I'm not really even sure. All I know is that it works. It finally works. Somehow we've become an ensemble. I'm sad that we are graduating but hopefully it doesn't mean the end of working together.

It's been an honor and a blessing. I've fallen in love with these 8 other people. It's a beautiful thing.

Favorite TV Show: The Office (British Version)

I've made an observation since joining myspace a couple of days ago. Well, I've actually made a couple of observations. The first is that I'm addicted. I'm addicted to finding people I haven't seen in years. I'm addicted to having friends, lots and lots of them. I need medication. The second is that there are people out there who put under their favorite TV shows that The Office (British Version) is their favorite show. I find this hilarious. I'll just go ahead and answer this question for you: yes I've seen both the British and U.S. versions. The more probing observation here is that only certain people insist that the British version is their favorite. Yes, the British version is fantastic, but there's a since of snobbery about claiming it as your favorite. It's like saying, "you know what? I'm even more intelligent than you because I find the British version funny. My humor is more elevated than yours. Plus I discovered it before America discovered it. That just shows how cool I am. I'm hip. Much hipper than you. I watch the BBC because I'm cultured. I care about what happens in the world. You only discover things when they finally come out on DVD. While you were still hooked on American Idol (for which I prefer the British version, Pop Idol, that came first) I was working in the trenches to make sure this show stayed alive! I also was one of the founding fathers of Arrested Development! It's because of people like YOU, you DVD watchers, that the show had to be CANCELLED! You just don't get it do you? I HATE YOU!"

And that's how I feel about that.

Wicked

This has definitely been a week of theatre. Wednesday night my roommates and I had the opportunity to go see Wicked! I've been dying to see this musical since it first came out. I was a little sad that I missed seeing Anna Gasteyer perform as Elphaba but the new lead was absolutely amazing. We had seventh row seats and I was mesmerized by the costumes, sets, the humor and their amazing voices. I laughed hard and even cried at one point. You know when you watch something and it makes you so incredibly jealous that they are on stage getting to perform? That's exactly how I felt. I felt slightly jealous but more than that, I want to perform now more than ever!

The musical version of the story is not quite as dark or political as the book. I love the details in the book but I like the happy ending of the musical. If you ever have the opportunity to see these show, don't pass it up!

STEVE!

What a night I just had and it's only 7:50 p.m.! The roommates and I just met Steve (David Eigenberg) from Sex and the City. You know, Steve! John and Fernando, I can't hold it against you that you have no idea who he is. It's probably a good thing.

Anyway, Jessie, Janell, Lindsay and I went to see a rehearsal for Cradle of Man opening at Victory Gardens Theatre. We sit down waiting for it to begin. Next thing I know, "Steve" comes over to our aisle and asks to sit next to Jessie (two people away from me). Be still our beating hearts. He was really kind and funny...a little too funny. Quit with the one liners already! That's MY job! I'M FUNNY! I'M THE COMEDIENNE! They did five scenes from the show in a barely there set. They even called for lines.

Afterwards we asked to take a picture (like the little teenage girls we secretly are). He was really easy to talk to and not intimidating in the least. I even invited him to my Second City show. He can't come because he spends Monday nights with his father who has altzheimers. Sorry excuse! Whatever Steve! It's OVER between you and I! But then again, I forgive you because you told us to come see the show and you'd by us drinks afterwards. I'm sure his wife won't mind.

Isn't that exciting? I've never met anyone famous other than Martina Navratolova whose autograph I left on the floor...dad's still bitter. And now I've met two famous people in less than a month! That has to be a sign, right?!!!!!

March Madness

I have not watched a lick of NCAA basketball this year (or any other type of basketball for that matter). I enjoyed watching it when I was actually in the arena and could call the Hogs. Since then I haven't really cared much...until NOW! I am participating in the office NCAA Men's tournament challenge on ESPN and at the office. John, can you believe I'm writing about sports? I know you're so proud!

I might as well have been trying to read braille as I looked at the brackets. I decided I would ignore the statistics and go with a logical approach...choose teams in states where I knew people. Much to my surprise I saw that Arkansas is actually in the tournament this year. It's hard to believe that it's been 12 years since they won the National Championship. Yet we're still holding onto it. I feel like a traitor. I only chose Arkansas going to the second round but not beyond. I think I chose Memphis as the winner of that game. In the end I have Texas beating out Illinois by 3 points. I mean, I LIVE in Illinois but my heart is in Texas. Plus I know more people in Texas. Technically Texas and Arkansas are rivals but you can't be too choosey in this case. All the girls at the office chose Duke to win. I mean, that's so obvious. Too obvious; therefore it won't happen.

This is the most you'll EVER hear me talk about basketball.

Love Child

What Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar's love child would look like.

Pictures from the Birthday

One of 400 birthday cakes consumed by moi in two days. Aren't my roommates, Janell and Jessie, cute?

Pictures from the Birthday

Pictures from the Birthday

"How does the song go again?"

Pictures from the Birthday

"Didn't I Didn't I Didn't I See You Cryin'"

My Present to Myself

Did I want to by myself a piece of silver jewelry from Tiffany's? Or how about a spa package from the Red Door spa? Maybe I could have donated extra money to World Vision so the children could be fed. But what did I decide to buy myself in celebration of the Big 3-0? Eye Cream. Now I've been wearing eye cream for a good 5 years or more. No longer will the Walgreen's selection suffice. I need the hard core, heavy duty, make me look young and keep me young looking product! One little bottle cost me $45. I'm going to have to pick up a second job in order to keep myself young looking. It's so tough being a woman. sigh. But I did qualify for a free gift! Ah, sweet justification.

I'm 30!

My late 20's were so fabulous that I couldn't wait to jump into my 30's. I've always heard that your 30's are the best years because you know who you are, insecurity is at a minimum and you know what's important in life. Now I'm not so sure that I have all of those down but I can see what they're saying. I'm looking forward to the adventure that lies ahead.

My 30th birthday weekend was nothing short of perfect. Friday night I had a small army of friends over for some yummy appetizers. My roommates and I were sad to see that most of the food was gone. We made so much food that I thought we'd be living off of these appetizers for a good week. No matter, I'm glad they enjoyed it. My personal offering for the night was homemade Sangria. Me! Katy! Former Cheerleading Captain for Trinity CHRISTIAN Academy. Making mixed drinks! Whoever would have dreamed it? It's now my specialty. I even have the recipe memorized. Thank you Rachael Ray. Post appetizers, we headed back to Pontiac Cafe where I opened up the night with a beautiful vocal rendition of Cheap Tricks', I Want You to Want Me. The allure of my voice wooed the audience...actually, you couldn't really hear my voice. I'm not sure but someone may have turned the microphone down after the start of the song. My keen intuition tells me that it's because they didn't want to be outdone by ME! It was fun to seeing everyone else get to sing their song choices. My favorite part of the night was watching other people have fun. I love being able to open my home and serve others. I need to do more of that in my 30's.

My incredibly generous dad, who loves me so much, flew in my family (senza mom and sister/new family) and Wendy to help celebrate my birthday. The weekend was so unusually gorgeous for this time of year that we walked and walked and walked and then ate and walked and ate some more. I even took off my fleece one time. It was nice to let the skin breathe. I introduced my family to Spanish Tapas. I'm pretty proud of my dad. In one month he has tried both Sushi and Tapas. We'll be a cultured family yet!

I need to go on a two week fast to purify myself from the amount of cake, ice cream and creme based foods I've consumed this weekend. I should run too....lots and lots of running.

Thank you everyone who helped to celebrate my birthday and make it such an amazing weekend! I'll be sure to post pictures soon. I have yet to email about Becky's wedding. I need to get on that one too.

Greetings from Connor

I knew it. He loves me and he doesn't even know me yet!

McNuggets

Dad, this video is for you. I know you're a big fan of McDonald's Chicken McNuggets. That's no secret. You're the healthiest person known to man yet you can't resist the temptation of McNuggets. I think this video symbolizes how your heart feels towards those little fried pieces of meat.

Fernando and Thomas, from the Thursday night conservatory class, filmed this sketch that they use in their show. Just a warning, please don't watch at work. You'll laugh too hard and then you'll get fired and then you'll blame me and then I'll feel bad and then I'll be anxious and then I'll start having to go to therapy and then I'll have to get a second job to afford it.

Connor Christopher McCroskey

Apparently Connor weighed more than 8 lbs. when he was born. The scale was off and the doctor said that he weighed closer to 9 lbs. That's good. He's an eater. You can tell that he has a little Orender in him.

Everyone is doing well. Here are a couple of pictures. You can't really see Connor but you can still tell he's a good lookin' kiddo.

I'm an Aunt!

My nephew was born at 11:53 a.m. today. He is 8 lbs. and 19 inches. And our lives will never be the same. Each birthday, Christmas, Easter, Fourth of July, etc. will have new eyes for all of us. I love the thought of new adventures ahead for him and for the rest of my family. He is the luckiest most blessed boy in the world to be born to such amazing parents. I am still amazed at how blessed I am to have been born into this family. He is a lucky kid!

No names yet. I'll be sure to post pictures when they send them. Congratulations Erin and Chris!