Selfishness

I am swimming deep in the sea of Middle Child Syndrome and my floaties aren't helping. I knew this day would come. It's been predicted and after months of planning and strategy, I still can't seem to stay afloat! Less than 24 hours after Becky's wedding I find myself driving down Dallas Parkway in my mom's car to my "birthday dinner" with the windows open so I can dry my tears and hide them from my family. I start thinking about how my best friend is now married. I used to always be able to count on her for singleness and now I can't. And you know what, that's okay (she lies to herself as she looks in the mirror). The second big change comes in that my sister is about to give birth! I can't believe it! She goes into the hospital tonight so she can be induced tomorrow. What the heck is Cervical Ripening Gel? Wait, don't tell me. I'm not sure I want to know. Something about a cervix that needs to be ripened and the only way to do that is to use gel. I think it's all coming together for me. Bless her heart!

Chris and Erin have been pretty secretive with the names they've chosen for the baby. Chris is a major Comic nerd. And I mean that in the best of sense. You can visit his Komikazee website. He seriously asked Erin if they could give their maybe future son the middle name, Vadar. Lately it's been Thor. Ummm, no you can't! NO WAY IN HELL WILL I TELL MY FRIENDS THAT I HAVE A NEW NEPHEW NAMED THOR! What if they do name the baby Thor? I'll giggle nervously and tell them that it's a wonderful name and that he'll have no problems coming up with a halloween costumes. He'll probably have huge muscles and win lots and lots of body building contests. Then he can become the future governor of California. How can you not be successful with a name like Thor? I change my mind, Thor is a good name.

So please be praying for Erin and Chris. It's going to be a long 24 hours for them and the rest of us. It's killing me that I can't be there. They've promised to update me on every little detail...except the Cervical Ripening Gel.

Embittered Wife

Last week we had an amazing Level 5 show at Second City. There's something about being first in the line-up that brings about inspiring energy. It definitely showed. This week we are adding a few new scenes to our running order. My favorite is about the double luge. I always thought that this was a weird Olympic sport and it might be fun to do a scene centered around it. This one is a blackout that is mostly physical. We don't have much of that in our show and it might be a nice change of pace. I hope it translates well on stage. It was funny to us in our class room. You just never know in front of an audience. It's painful when you watch a bad scene. But it's even more painful when you're performing in one. No matter what, you have to try to sell it 100%. If you're sold, the audience will most likely be sold. Crossing my fingers never hurt either.

As I look at the running order I realize that in a couple of scenes I basically play the same character: the embittered wife. In one scene I sing (scary enough in itself), the other I play Madame Curie. It's more of a period piece. It makes it sound noble when I use "period piece." I hope this isn't type casting. Maybe I play the character so well because it's so opposite of my own personality and character. Yeah, yes, of course! That must be it.

Faster Than You Can Say . . .

I should have flossed every night. I know better! Because I didn't do this and I didn't go to the dentist for two and a half years I ended up having a cavity. Sigh. I'm usually just so proud of my dental hygiene. The dentist, who happens to be the most peppy dentist I've ever met, asked if I wanted Novicaine. I said, "Yes, I'll take everything you've got!" After one huge shot in the mouth, the whole right side of my jaw went numb. It's such a weird feeling. I don't think I was drooling, but then again, maybe no one told me. They wouldn't do that, would they?

Anyway, it reminded me of yet another story where Katy says something that comes out sexual without meaning to. I have a long history of this and I'm sure Becky will probably comment with some stories. My friend from work, Laura, had a canker sore in her mouth (I don't like that word...ewwww) and was using ambisol. I was just thinking about how ambisol numbs the mouth and I thought to myself, "What would it feel like to put ambisol on your eyelid? Would it make it numb?" But instead I spoke aloud, "Have you ever used Ambisol on any other body parts?" We laughed until we cried with that one. Maybe we're just dirty minded.

Makes Me Feel Like Dancing

It's true. I am in love with a reality t.v. show. I have fallen in love with Dancing with the Stars. I can't help myself! It has everything that you want! No name celebrities (except Jerry Rice, he's brilliant), competition, tacky clothing and DANCING! Should this be any surprise considering one of my all-time favorite movies is Dirty Dancing? "Nobody puts baby in a corner." Becky and I have always talked about making "Camp Kellerman" t-shirts with that quote on the back. I think I should make it happen. Who wouldn't want to buy one?

Now I know that Stacy was definitely the best dancer of the group, but who can deny that Drew Lachey is the better performer? Those of you who prefer Stacy only prefer her because she's half naked the whole show. Yeah, I know it, she knows it, the whole world knows it. I just have had a hard time looking at her the same since she posed for Maxim or FHM or Stuff...one of those magazines. I know I'm judging her. I shouldn't judge. But it just made me sad.

The show just made me want dress scantily and dance throughout my apartment!

One WILD Bachelorette Party

This past weekend we threw Becky her Bachelorette Party. She preferred to have a low-key weekend with the girls out at a lake house. That's my ideal bachelorette party as well.

I didn't arrive into Dallas until 8pm. Wendy, Dow, Beckles and I quickly went to the store to pick up all the food for the weekend (if you know me, you know how this freightened me). Then we stopped by Chick-fil-a to pay homage. Waffle Fries...gurgle gurgle gurgle. After a two hour drive to Possum Kingdom Lake, TX. we were pretty exhausted and not quite in our right minds.

Most bachelorette weekends end with a hangover. This one began with some of the most incredible dancing known to man. Please watch closely as I bust out moves from the 8th grade. Becky closes the sequence with what we've coined as the "donkey kick." She is such a show off!

TourCo Audition

A friend called last Thursday to tell me that Second City was having auditions for women for their Tour Company on Monday. Knowing that I was less experienced than the typical auditioner I went ahead and scheduled an appointment. Thankfully I printed up my ugly headshot so I could at least have something to give them. I even worked on my meager resume'. I definitely need to spruce that up a bit. It was looking a bit more bare than it should. I know I've done many more gigs than my resume' tells.

It's an understatement to say that I was nervous for this audition. I didn't tell too many people. But I did let people know how to pray for me. I always feel better going into an audition, show, etc. after a good round of prayer. Calms me a bit. I prayed that I would feel freedom, have confidence and that they would see a little something in me.

My audition was at 11:40 a.m. I even showered for it. I wore dark pants and a bright shirt to make sure I'd stick out. No it wasn't obnoxiously bright. Subtle and inspiring...like me! The audition wasn't anything unusual. My nerves calmed a bit after my teacher, Tim, told us girls the night before that the audition was really more of a formality and that they "had" to hold one for girls. SUCKS! But oh well, good experience. I felt good about my short scenes. But I'm more of a long-form girl. They called two names randomly and gave us a location to start a scene. Mine was at a nail salon. Easy: I like manicures and pedicures. The other girl initiated and took the role of a manicurest. So I became a woman who was getting married after meeting someone on an internet dating service. Basically I was proud to be getting married and wanted everyone to know it! IT WAS MY TURN, DAMMIT!

To my surprise they also asked me to do another scene with a girl who I respected and had seen perform multiple times. I was so out of my league. They put us in a "newsroom." At first she started the scene very focused on the task. When I tried to initiate relationship and revelation she just ignored me. A HUGE IMPROV NO NO! So I just went with my character and kept trying to get her attention so we could talk and I could tell her why I felt ignored.

Afterwards I felt really good about my part in the scene. One girl mentioned that she was jealous that I got called up again when no one else did. I said, "Nothing means nothing!" I have no idea what that means. Basically it means that I can't read into anything! I felt awesome about my audition and like all my prayers had been answered. I knew my chances of being called back were slim, but God can work miracles. Anne Libera, my level 4 instructor, said good job to me later that day. She also said that I made a great choice with the girl who wouldn't talk to me in my scene. She said, "seriously Katy, that was a GREAT choice." I felt so good after that.

No I didn't get called back, but rumor has it that they weren't really looking anyway. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't disappointed. I am disappointed because I like succeeding in all I do. But I have to take everything one step at a time. I'm just beginning to get impatient. Hopefully something will open up soon! The audition just made me realize how much I love performing.

Coldplay

WHA?!!!!!!!!!!??!!!!!!!!!!!!???!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Coldplay is breaking up? WHYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?????? (knees hit the floor. fist. fist. fist. and hair pulling). Buh, wuh? I have hope that they will get back together once Apple hits school age.

Snowboard Cross

I have a new favorite Olympic sport. I could hardly peel my eyes away from the television last night. Did anyone watch the Snowboard Cross? Was that not amazing?!!!! It reminds me of a Nintendo 64 game I used to play with my little brother back in the day. I remember he was snowboard racing my mom and I and because he was beating my mom she says, "You, you, you...." And Andrew responds, "BASTARD!" I could hardly stop from crying laughing. He was only seven years old at the time. Where did he learn that word?!

There are a few funny stories about Andrew and his language. He used to be really into popsicles when he was about four. My mom decided to get him a new treat, Push Ups. When she showed him the Push UP he spoke chipperly, "What in the hell is this?" Patiently mom responded, "Andrew, we don't say that. We say, 'What in the WORLD is this!'" Smartly he says, "What in the world hell is this?!" One of my favorites was when he was four, yet again. Patrick and I had friends from college in town. Andrew's new favorite movie at the time was Top Gun. He was showing off in front of our friends by quoting lines from the movie. All of a sudden we hear, "Shit! It's Viper!" He made a really great impression on our friends. They still remind me of that time.

I digress... I think I would like to compete in the Snowboard Cross. If I could compete in any Winter Olympic sports they would be: Figure Skating, Downhill, Moguls and now Snowboard Cross. Did anyone see the gold medal winner, Seth Wescott? Hello! New crush! He likes the outdoors, I like the outdoors. He likes to snowboard, I like to snowboard. He likes to get caught in avalanches, I like to watch t.v. specials about avalanches.

I nearly cried while watching another event last night - Figure Skating. Here's a little trivia about my past: I was a figure skater. Yes I was only eight years old but it still counts. I even won a second place ribbon in a competition. Granted I think there were only two of us competing in my age group, but it's still a special moment. Anywho. I watched the Olympics new comeback kid last night, Evan Lysacek (who happens to be from Naperville, IL). He skated the most powerful and beautiful program of anyone that night. Yeah, the Russian Gold Medalist with a mullet, Plushenko could jump better than anyone but his program was missing heart, artistry and emotion. But then again, he and his family made serious sacrifices to get him where he is today. I'm always a sucker for those stories. Good for him.

Celebrity Meeting!

Yesterday morning delivered a great surprise! I had to attend an early morning awards breakfast at a local company. I didn't think much of it until I watched a video of their surprise M.C. for the event. I hear words about Second City, SCTV, Ghostbusters, etc. Then suddenly I see Harold Ramis' face pop up on the screen! Harold Ramis! Harold Ramis, you ask? How could you not know this talented face and even more talented writer and director?!!!

My boss insisted that I meet him. I was overcome with nervousness and mumbled something like, "nah, I couldn't do that. I'd die!" Many people love meeting celebrities. I usually run the other way. I mean, what do I say? Why should they care? Before I knew it, they grabbed my arm and pulled me over to meet Mr. Ramis. One of the women knew him so it wasn't a big deal for her to introduce me. I'm sure my face was flaming hot. She mentioned to him that I attended Second City. Here is the transcript from our conversation:

Scene: Large elite Club
Atmosphere: Bustling
Character trait: distracted, nervous and overwhelmed as the camera bulbs flashed...acting like a 12 year old girl who has a crush on the boy she's talking to.

"Harold, this is Katy and she's at Second City. I wanted you to meet her."

"Oh, you're at Second City."

"umm, yes. I am finishing the conservatory program"

"You're an actress?"

"Yes!"

"That's great! How long have you been there?"

"Two years or so."

"Did you study this in college?"

**distracted by fans and flash bulbs

"Umm, honestly, no. It's just something I've always wanted to do and figured why not now, just give it a shot."

"That's exactly what I did."

"Really? That's so good to know!"

**witty banter, witty banter, blah blah blah, you're awesome, blah blah

That's really all I remember. But I will post a picture as soon as someone sends it to me. I'm sure I'll be mid-sentence with my mouth making a weird shape. Plus my face will be red. But seriously, how cool is that?!!!! I never meet celebrities. Sure I'm usually running the other way or sneaking photos of them while they're on the beach with their families, but wow! Harold is a legend! I'm sure he's calling up agencies trying to locate the random girl actress he met at an event. I bet he's already written a part for me! If I were more strategic, I'd have put a headshot in his hand. But I wasn't thinking clearly at the moment.

Aloha and Mahalo

So I am wearing the sign of a vacation to the beach: peeling scalp. Some people might confuse that with dandruff but I know the truth...I got sunburned! And it was great!

The Parentals and I took off to Honolulu with Wendy to spend a few days on the beach. Much to my surprise it was Pro-Bowl weekend and our hotel was the hub of ESPN. There were famous football players EVERYWHERE. But most of it was lost on me. I only know the players from back in my highschool days (aka. "When the Cowboys were good"). Did you know that when there are famous, rich football players around the number of fake boobs escalates? Neither did I. But now I know. As wonderful as Hawaii was, it also felt a bit like MTV spring break at our hotel pool. Therefore Wendy and I stuck to the beach. Some of you watching ESPN might have seen us laying out in the background. Why they didn't just broadcast that is beyond me.

The first day we only spent a few hours at the beach. We didn't want to fry like bacon when we had a few more days to do that. We decided to accompany my mom to the spa. I love the spa. It makes me feel so girly. I used to feel guilty about going until I heard the prices of green fees at golf courses. I don't feel guilty any longer. Men have their drug, we have ours. There's just something about walking around in a huge robe in public. They had us taking elevators in our robes and walking down long hallways. I didn't care. I was about to get a massage! I'm not exactly a modest person. Years of kamp took away any modesty I ever owned. Therefore if one of us has to have a man give us a massage my mother always volunteers moi. I just find that funny. I don't care and I'm sure Jude didn't either. He looked a lot like Apolo Anton Ohno (you Olympic lovers). It was fabulous and I'm still relaxed.

Just like watching Aspen Extreme before a good ski trip, a trip to Hawaii makes me want to watch Blue Crush. Both are riveting movies that have changed the face of Hollywood..er...so maybe not. But they are so fun to watch! We took our Blue Crush tour of O'ahu on Thursday. We drove up to the North Shore so we could watch the surfers tempt death with those insanely huge waves. I felt like a complete tourist with my Kate Spade bag and gaucho pants. If I were in Blue Crush I would have been kicked off the beach. I couldn't compare to the Hawaiian kids with the Hawaiian Islands tatooed on their backs. One even had the word "North" tatooed on one arm and "Shore" tatooed on the other. If I really wanted to fit in I would have done the same.

Friday I desperately tried to soak up the sun. I knew I was leaving in 36 hours and had to cram in a weeks worth of sunbathing in only a few hours. Armed with good books, Wendy and I seriously laid there from 9am to 5pm. I didn't even get up to go to the bathroom. I did however make it to the ocean to float in the salty waters. The water looks inviting but it was a bit chilly. I've become a wimp in my old age. So I sucked it up and dove right in (the second time). I warmed myself up with my new favorite drink, the Chi Chi...basically a Pina Colada. I was in heaven! I didn't think things could get any better...but they did! Would you believe it? Steve Young walked right past me and parked he and his family next to Wendy and I on the beach! Wendy was like, "Who is Steve Young?" Ummmm, I only had a crush on him for, like, a couple of years in highschool because he was, like, the best football quarterback (next to Troy Aikman) for the 49ers. And didn't I just see him anchoring the Superbowl? I do believe so! I even got to see him kindly discipline his son. I approve.

I think I felt a tear roll down my cheek there on the beach. I wasn't quite ready to go home. I still needed more of a tan!

11 hours later I arrived safely at home. Is it wrong to want to hit a baby when it cries for 11 hours straight? Hear me out! I didn't hit the baby. I would never do something like that...it's wrong! But I did consider hitting the parents. I need to pray.

My parents are still in Hawaii living the life. They are so kind and generous to ask me to come along with them. Now all I have is my memories and the healing "North" "Shore" tatooes on my arms.

So I'm Not a Dork

I received this comment from my good friend John who is always looking out for me:

"Always know what you're really saying. You are probably not a dork... http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/DorkORhttp://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=dork
Look at "vulgar slang." I would never call you a dork. A hottie, maybe... dork, never!"

Apparently one of the definitions for dork is "penis." I am definitely not one of those.

Thanks John for setting me straight.

I'm a Dork!

I know not many of you are surprised by that statement. But it was just confirmed. It's official.

So my mom sent an email asking me about my trainer, Shelby, that I've had for the past 5 months. (Trainer Brad moved on). So I responded to her email by telling her a story about how James had slapped my butt in a scene in Monday nights show and later told me that it hurt his hand. I said, "You know it hurt your hand! I do more lunges and squats than you could ever dream!" Blah Blah Blah. So after emailing this story, I hit send. I didn't realize until a few moments later that I had actually responded with this story to an email sent to me by a volunteer at our organization....who I hardly know!

I should just go home today. Sigh.

Live Band Karaoke!

Friday night was a first for me. In honor of Jason's 26th birthday, we went to Pontiac Cafe for their weekly Live Band Karaoke. It was probably one of the more fun nights I've had in Chicago. First of all, the group that went couldn't be more fun. We've all made fools of ourselves many many times infront of eachother so singing was just another opportunity.

As soon as we walked through the door, a menu of songs was thrown in our faces. After 30 minutes of perusing the song titles and debating between Cheap Tricks "Want You to Want Me" and Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time, " I went with the song whose video has been ingrained in my memory since childhood. Remember when Cyndi Lauper and the tall, dark and not so handsome/skinny guy said goodbye to eachother next to a train? Wait, let me wipe the tears from my eyes. That's better. Not only was it Cyndi's first #1 hit, it was my first #1 hit. Brilliant how our histories are now woven together. Wow.

The music was so loud that my ears are still ringing two days later. I walked up to a tall guy who thought he was hotter than he really was. But he made for interesting and witty banter. I gave him my name; which he wrote down as K8y. That's now my stage name. As I told him the song of my choice he looked at me for a moment and then put his hand over his heart while he sighed. He was feeling it too.

We enjoyed listening to some quality singers and some not so quality singers (most of whom were drunk and didn't care what they sounded like). I kept waiting for them to call Jason's name so I would know that I was next. Shocker of all shocks, they called my name first. I wasn't even paying attention but somehow, like in a dream, I heard someone repeating my name. With a gasp and in confusion, I threw my purse on the beer layered floor, tossed my camera to someone and jumped on stage. I think I said something like, "this is my first time and I think I'm going to be sick." But seriously, after one semester of musical theater in college and two and a half years of improv, I was set. The band was so loud that I was trying to scream into the microphone so I could be heard. I couldn't even hear myself. Mostly with my eyes glued to the white paper in my hands I sang my heart out. The sweet guitar player to my left notified me when I should start singing or leave a bit of time for the musical interludes. I owe him. He made me who I am today. There was one stranger in the front row who was so kind to just stare at me intensely and sing every word right along with me. I had no idea I had that kind of mesmerizing power. Now that I know about this power of mine, I need to use it for good, not evil...like seducing strange men to wash my car, fix my closet and cook me healthy meals.

If you look at the picture, you'll notice how red my face looks. It's our family trait: Blazing skin when embarassed or the center of attention. I think it finally tamed itself after a good hour.

WHAT A RUSH AND AWESOME FEELING! I highly recommend it to anyone. The hit performance of the night was Jason. He sang one of my favorites, A-Ha's "Take on Me." Seriously, who didn't cry the first time they saw that video?!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON!

Must See

Last night I saw a powerful play at the Victory Gardens Theater. Kristin invited me to see a preview for Young Lady from Rwanda written by Sonja Linden. The play was funny, sad and focused on the relationship between a survivor and a struggling writer. The play was poignant and did not need any more words to make it more impactful. A standing ovation at the end of the play showed its great force. I would recommend this to anyone. I hope you have the opportunity to go see it.

Outburst

I just yelled at my boss. Seriously, I did. I'm not making this up. We were all seated around the conference table post lunch just chatting about upcoming weddings, etc. We had Rockit catered in for one of the girls' last day in the office. There was a huge tray of grapes, strawberries and the most delicious cookies. As we're debating about my future marriage or not marriage, I saw my boss packing up the cookies. Our end of the table did not see the tray of goodies. As I see my boss using tongs to put the cookies in little plastic baggies I yell, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!??" Seriously, I don't get mad about much, but don't mess with my dessert!

Fraud

I believe that God provides for me, cares for me, watches over me and reveals things to me. This was never more apparent (well...maybe this is just another strong example) than on Monday. Abby called to see if Adobo overcharged me for my bill on Friday. She noticed that they had charged her $30 instead of what she had specified. I didn't want to be sucked into this scam so I checked my online banking. Not only did I notice that weird charge but there were others as well. I'm sure these had nothing to do with Adobo. But there were four charges of $6.20 each. Then there were ANOTHER four for $206.71 each. All made on the same day! I'm a little ticked that my bank didn't find that unusual and feel alerted to call me. I seriously see it as God protecting me! I immediately ran over to my bank and got it taken care of in person. They cancelled my card and refunded me the $$ that was used fraudulently. Whew! All that in 30 minutes! Maybe it is time that I invested in a paper shredder. Wendy, you warned me years ago about identity theft. I don't think this went that far but I would feel so lost on what to do if that happened.

We still don't know who did this or how it happened. All I'm saying is BE CAREFUL out there. It's a world filled with people who are greedy and have too much time on their hands!

I can't leave it at that. There are wonderful people like Abby who helped me out :-)

Today's Tidbit

I missed watching this Saturday Night Live. I always miss the good ones. I watch it about twice a year and it always ends up being the same episode. But in case you missed this one, here's a peek at a hilarious sketch:

It's the Chronic...What...cles of Narnia

Mishaps

All yesterday I kept thinking that I couldn't wait to get home and clean out my closet. I think the Oreck has really done something to me. Suddenly I want to clean EVERYTHING! I went to Happy Hour with the girls and drank two of Adobos famous Margaritas. That was one too many. Jessie and I took a taxi home because it began sleeting and neither of us remembered an umbrella. We set to work immediately!

I don't like to let go of things; especially clothes. I feel guilty for saying goodbye to them; like I didn't appreciate them anymore. And I also wonder, "what if" or "just in case." The good thing is that I found some lost articles of clothing just by removing boxes from the bottom of my closet. I used the smaller Oreck and attachments to suck up all the dust bunnies that have been growing for the past two years. I even have a vision of moving my shoes to the bottom of my closet so I can use the top for sweaters. I have my sweaters in boxes under my bed an I'm too lazy to look for them or put them away. I think I'll get more use out of my snuggly sweaters this way.

Just as I'm feeling awesome about myself I heard a snap. Wouldn't you know it!!!?? My closet bar snapped in half and my clothes fell on top of me and a hanger scratched my chest. I'm not angry or frustrated. I just shouted a small little expletive. More out of shock than anger. I quickly called Jessie over and said cheerily, "Hey, look what I did to my closet!" What is a girl to do?!!! Looks like I should have given away more clothes than I originally did. I'm a clothes whore! I know it, you know, we all know it! No surprise there. What is God trying to tell me?

The evening ended two hours later and I was finally tired of cleaning. I peaked out the window and thought, "hey, when did it snow?" Two inches were on the ground at that point. So I decided to go to bed early because I had to wake up early to go get my haircut (for the first time in five months). I jumped out of bed and got ready to go. I opened up the door and the sunrays warmed my face and I breathed in the cool air. I was a happy girl...for a moment. I didn't even look down as I stepped out the door onto the ground. Next thing I knew I was on my butt with my feet in the air. Unfortunately for my thumbnail, it broke the fall between my cheeks and the cement step. I let out another expletive. I quickly jumped up and looked around to make sure no one saw me. How come things like that are funny when you're with someone else and just humiliating when you're alone? You can't laugh and joke about it that way!

The final mishap (and lets hope that that's it for the day) was walking to the hair salon. The sun was causing the snow to melt from rooftops and awnings. Just as I walked by an awning, snow flew from the roof, bounced off the awning and hit my head. Nice. A good start to a good day.

I do like my hair. Its back to its original dark color and has a few highlights here and there. It looks much healthier and I am much happier! The Charles Ifergan salon was really great and everyone was definitely trendy. Once again I felt like a schlepp compared to most of them. But they're professionals. We're supposed to aspire to be them. The place was buzzing and beautiful (albeit a little plastic) women were talking on their cellphones and speaking with their stylists like they'd known them for years. I was waiting for someone to bust out the bend and snap. It just had that feel.

Tonight I'm going to a fundraiser for work. I wasn't planning on going but my boss asked me to attend. Apparently these people really want our office to be represented. That's fine with me because I do like the hosts and I get in free. My friend, Fernando, is going with me. This way I'll know someone and won't be standing by the appetizers all night holding my phone and trying to look important.

Last Night

By the way, I Oreck'd last night and it was awesome. I have never seen such clean baseboards. I feel like a whole new person.

Paste-y White Thighs...

I feel like a train just hit me. I just realized that I have to go swimsuit shopping. In February. After months of darkness. The brightest light I've seen in the past few months is the glow from thighs. Long gone are the days of the "Green Monster" and my skinny-assed self. Its true, when you don't eat, your metabolism rebels. And here I am paying the price for three weeks of zero appetite. Why won't you come back to me?

In two and a half weeks I will be taking a trip to Honolulu with the parentals and my friend, Wendy. I'm ready to soak up the sun, breath in the clean air, smell the salt of the earth, read a good book, see daylight and eat fresh pineapple. I can almost feel it, smell it, see it, hear it and taste it! Hey, that's all five senses. Took me a second to remember one of them. I'm not going to tell you which one. What I've already told you is embarassing enough already. I promise you that I made a 4.0 every semester of college but two. Those were in Italian III and Figure Drawing, so get off my back!

I have forgotten about the bathing suit part. Chicago living requires less need of a swim suit than Dallas living. In Dallas I would layout by the pool or go to a lakehouse with frequency. I'll have to make more use of the Chicago beach this summer now that I won't have Sunday Second City class. But seriously y'all! I'm not ready to try on a bikini while peering at myself under flourescent lights that accent every flaw of my skin. I'm not! I'M NOT! But I do want to give a shout out to American Laser Centers. Bless you.

I'm sure I'll blog about my trip to some department store desperately trying to find a suit that makes me look tan, 20 lbs. thinner and acne free.

Headshots

So I had headshots taken a little over a year ago. I hate them. I really do. Since when do I have a big nose? Everytime I look at the pictures I want to go run 14 miles. Its not that each individual picture is so horrific, its the sum of the whole thing that creates a heated frustration within my soul! I desperately want to have them retaken; especially now that my hair is longer. Teenage acne is still present.

But I need to have SOMETHING that I can send out. Something is better than nothing, right? Or would I be sabotaging myself by sending in a very unfortunate picture. Maybe it would help me. Some dynamic casting agent will be surprised by my beauty in real life! Or maybe my chances of being chosen will be slim because of a photo that does nothing for me.

Seriously! I am a photogenic person! How could the one time that I need photos to really work for me, THEY DON'T?!!!!! Anyone out there know of someone fabulous to take my headshot? Anyone? Bueller? I'll do it. Just give me a little bit of time to make this huge horrific pimple to leave my face. Anyone know of a dermatologist? Anyone? Bueller?

Now that I've been through the process once I know a little more. Have someone do my make up. Have my hair done before the shoot. Wear clothes that are ironed (like I wouldn't). SMILE, SMILE, SMILE! I look weird when I don't smile in my pictures. Note to self....

How am I ever to be discovered?!!!! You know what? I bet my pictures would turn out better if I didn't wear makeup, put my hair in a pony tail and wore a velour sweatsuit. Its when I try that I don't succeed. Hey, a new philosophy! I'm sure if I sit here that all good things will come to me!

So I'm debating on getting my pictures made into 8x10's just to have something. I don't know if I can bring myself to do it. Maybe I'll just get 50 made and call it a day. Hopefully I won't be calling it a career.

What I'm Listening to Today

Actually this is my December 2005 mix. I like to date my mixes. Or maybe I should use the more up to date terminology that my little brother will understand: playlist.

1. Wonderwall: Ryan Adams
2. The Blower's Daughter: Damien Rice
3. Ring of Fire: Johnny Cash
4. Solsbury Hill: Peter Gabriel
5. Perfect World: Indigo Girls
6. Advent: Jackopierce
7. Still Crazy After All These Years: Paul Simon
8. Transatlanticism: Death Cab for Cutie
9. You're Beautiful: James Blunt
10. Trouble: Ray LaMontagne (love his voice!)
11. Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes: Paul Simon
12. Landed: Ben Folds
13. Me & Julio Down by the School Yard: Paul Simon (I must have a thing for him)

Kid Speak

My brother and I were IM'ing earlier today. I didn't understand half of what he was saying. Kids these days are learning a whole new language. My concern is that they won't be able to speak or write correctly in the future. But please notice his response to how he's doing. "Quite good." What 9th grader answers like that? It gives me hope for him.

Katy: hey drewbs
Andrew: Wuzza
Katy: lol
Katy: wuzza wi u
Andrew: Wut is moms na,e?
Andrew: Name*
Andrew: Just got done w/ skool
Andrew: But wuh is moms messenger bame?
Andrew: Name*
Andrew: And erins
Katy: i think its _______
Katy: erin's is....
Andrew: Ok
Andrew: Witabout lorac for mom?
Katy: what is lorac
Andrew: Her name back
Katy: oh funny.
Andrew: How wuz your show
Andrew: ??
Katy: it was fine. you can read about it on my blog.
Katy: we only got 9 minutes on stage instead of 15.
Andrew: Ok
Katy: i was ticked!
Andrew: Ouch
Katy: yeah, but i'm over it.
Andrew: That sta inks
Andrew: Haha, kool
Katy: i had to come to work to get some rest. this weekend exhausted me.
Katy: how are you.
Andrew: Quite good
Katy: did you have a good weekend?
Andrew: Duhhh
Andrew: H/o I gotta feed tha pupps
Katy: i'm learning so much from your IM lingo.
Andrew: Haha
Andrew: Ok
Andrew: Brb?
Katy: i'm here. oh you brb? (Note my confusion)
Katy: be right back. got that one
Andrew: Lol?
Katy: oh try me.
Katy: laugh out loud
Andrew: Hah
Andrew: Nice
Katy: lylas?
Andrew: I hav no idea
Katy: hahaha. Love ya like a sis. that's back from my day.
Katy: you know, back when we wrote letters
Katy: that's with paper and a pen
Andrew: Hahahaha
Andrew: A pen?
Andrew: Wuts that?
Andrew: Haha
Andrew: Jk
Katy: you better be
Andrew: Do u kno jk
Andrew: Oh good
Andrew: Lol
Katy: i define jk. i made it up
Andrew: Hmmm
Andrew: Bbfn?
Katy: bye bye for now.
Katy: took me a second.
Andrew: Bbl?
Andrew: Hah
Katy: babealicious?
Andrew: Nope
Andrew: Be back lata
Katy: oh, fooled again.
Andrew: Haha
Andrew: Wutabout gtg?
Katy: got to go. good to go. green tight girdle?
Andrew: Got to go, nice job
Andrew: Well I gtg
Andrew: So ttyl sis

9 Minutes of Fame

Last nights improv set was more like a few minutes of play time on the stage. We found out that we were going first and that Tim was having a root canal and wouldn't be there to do the lights. Anne was running late and ended up not making it in time. I think she was mad that we went ahead and performed but we had no choice. They wouldn't let us wait a couple of minutes.

The show was fine. I think most of us were disappointed with our performances. Jeremy and James had the best scene of the night. The hilarious song is what made it funny. When the song ended, the lights were pulled. The class after us said that the set seemed really short. I thought it did too. Then I looked at my watch and we had been on stage for all of 9 minutes. I was ticked. I'll admit it. My first thought was, "I took a shower for a 9 minute show!" The other classes got their full 15 minutes. I don't know why they pulled the lights early. It ended on a high note but we had 6 minutes to try to pull off another great scene. I will have words in class on Sunday! I'm not sure what kind of words considering I'm not exactly the most confrontational person.

We did stick around to watch the Level 5 shows. They were amazing. I turned to Jason and James and said, "We have so much work to do!" It scared us a little but more than that I think we were inspired. I got really excited to do the show and to work on it. Where and when else will I have the opportunity to write a show with a talented cast, put it up on a Second City stage, have people run lights for us and have a director all at my finger tips? I think we need to make the most of this opportunity. John's class is already rehearsing outside of class. I have a feeling that we will need to do that soon.

I wrote a song for the show. It may or may not make it. The last line of the chorus is "When I walk into Victoria's Secret it makes me want to kill myself." It's a humerous song.

Fish Out of Water

Saturday night after seeing a terrible sketch show at Chicago's Sketch Fest, I had planned on going home and cleaning my apartment. I could hardly wait to use the Oreck vacuum. But as usual, I was lurred away from my cleaning plans by an opportunity to hang out with friends. Ashley had called and I ended up going to her apartment before we met a friend of hers. It took her two hours to get ready, TWO! Had I known that I wouldn't be going out until after 11 pm I would have headed home. Whatever, it was good to see a friend and glad I did it.

The awkward moments didn't start until I heard where we were headed. John Barleycorn. Did you not hear me? JOHN BARLEYCORN! Gag, eww, psh, blah, blech....John Barleycorn. This place was definitely not my style. I prefer to sit in a quieter place where you can listen to music and talk with your friends. This mega bar is more of a meat market. Granted its not nearly as bad as say, Cherry Red, but still gag, eww, psh, blah, blech. Now Ashley is much more experienced in this world. She works at Rockit Bar for goodness sake. She was definitely in her element. I on the otherhand was just following her around and gathering up the strength not to run out of there.

First of all, Ashley was dressed in her going out clothes: sparkly top, new jeans, heels and a faux fur jacket. I of course was dressed to go play flag football: black shirt, jeans, sneakers and a puffy green jacket (note that I was supposed to go home and vacuum). She looked ready for going out and I looked like sporty spice...the lesbian looking one. I just sang of insecurity! Secondly, Ashley new how to work the room. She got her trademark Effen Black Cherry and Soda drink and surveyed the room. She asked if I wanted to do a walk through. "A WHAT?!!" "A Walk through. You know, walk through the room and check out everyone." "Yeah, I gathered that one." NO I DON'T WANT TO DO A WALK THROUGH. I WANT TO DO A RUN HOME! But I followed her around anyway. I made sure I made no eye contact with anyone. Lord, Why am I single? Anyway, we made our way upstairs to the dance floor. I was so cheesed out by everything around me. I couldn't help but pull out my trademark moves: the robot and anything that made me laugh at myself. Why do people take themselves so seriously? I think we were upstairs for all of 4 minutes. We came back downstairs and met up with her friend and thankfully Jason (fellow Second City classmate) showed up. See Jason, I mentioned you in my blog. I didn't get home until 2 am. I still have yet to vacuum.

Oreck Vacuum!

I asked for just a normal every day vacuum cleaner for Christmas. I don't necessarily have carpet in my apartment. Its wall to wall wood flooring. But I do have one rug in my room. Admittedly I haven't vacuumed it in probably 8 months...maybe longer. Its not that I'm super messy, I just don't step on it all that often. Plus I'm lazy. My old roommate had bought us a vacuum cleaner. Wait, let me clarify. It was a handheld Dirt Devil. We had more rugs back then and vacuuming meant getting on your hands and needs and sliding the little handheld Dirt Devil back and forth over the rugs. NOT. FUN!

So when I received a huge Oreck box in the mail at work yesterday I lept for joy! This is like a top of the line, down to business vacuum! I love to vacuum! I love seeing the lines it makes in the carpet. I like the instant gratification it brings! Granted carpet is scarce in my apartment, but it still does wonders on the bare wood floors! I think I scared Jessie and Janell a bit with my enthusiasm.

My mom can't help herself. She has to go all out! This thing puts the Dysen to shame. It's smaller, light weight and comes with a smaller vacuum buddy that has easily accessible attachments so I can clean window sills and baseboards. ITS BEAUTIFUL!!!!

Run Away

Last night Jessie was laying on my bed and I was on the floor lacing up a new pair of shoes (I'm a shoe junkie!). Neither one of us wanted to go to bed because I think we were both dreading the next day. Its not that there was anything awful happening, its just the fact that the next day wasn't a weekend day.

I looked at her and said, "hey, lets run away!"

She enthusiastically yelled "OKAY!"

Of course both of us are way too responsible to do something like running away.

I said, "Sometimes I wish I was kidnapped. Not by some sick and violent rapist. More like by some really fun friends who want to rescue me! That would be cool."

Have I reverted to some morbid perspective? Yikes!

Biggest Loser

Apparently there are "auditions" for The Biggest Loser down the street from work. There was already a line last night as I walked by my el stop. These people are serious. I also saw some people who did not need to be in line for the show. I wanted to pull some of these girls out of the line and tell them that they are beautiful and in no way should they be in line! Maybe what they need is counseling! But I have to admit that its slightly tempting to jump in line. I'd get really skinny, be on television and I just know with my cute personality that I'd become a reality star. Ha! There's more to life than that and I'll keep on pursuing something a little more grand.

Sunday Class

Yesterday was an extremely emotional class as we discussed Jim's death and also the death of Laurie's fiance', Tommy. The class was as wonderful as it was emotional. Tim O'Malley was the perfect teacher for us yesterday. He knows us all well and he was great about opening up discussion. There were definitely tears but also laughter as we shared memories. He suggested that we write some of these down to send to his family and to Second City. There is another article on Jim today in the Chicago Tribune.

I think our class is really bonding again which is something that we need. After class we spent a good hour acting like Junior High drama kids at Corcorans. We had a window booth and would wave enthusiastically at everyone walking by and then laugh hysterically. Maybe we all needed that release. One guy walked by and thought that he probably somehow knew us. He paused, partially waved, then looked inquisitive. I just waved him on because why torture him. Then we raised the dorkiness level by acting like mannequins in the window. No one stopped to look. I can't believe I just shared this information. I mean we were pathetic but we also were dying of laughter. It was just what we needed.

Jim Zulevic

I just found out some really tragic news. A beloved teacher and performer died of a heart attack a few hours ago. Jim Zulevic died today. I don't even really know what to say or think. I am in shock to hear such devastating news. His death marks the loss of a wonderful, hilarious and talented person. Tomorrow we were supposed to have our first level 5 class at Second City with him as our teacher. He coached our class into better performers only a few months ago. It just won't be the same.

Fattest City

Well, it looks like I live in the just named Fattest City in America. I can't cut a break! Seriously, how am I ever to get fit and remain thin when I live in the one city that ranks as the fattest in the good ol' U S of A? And the U S of A is probably the fattest country in the world. It's a constant battle folks. I guess I need to move to Hawaii where they have the second most fit city in America. I'll take one for the team and move there.

Speaking of Hawaii...I am taking a trip there in one month!! My sweet parents have invited me and my friend Wendy to accompany them to the great city of Honolulu. I think I'll prepare myself for this trip not by exercising but by watching my guilty pleasure, Blue Crush. I own it. It's true. You're than welcome to come over and watch it with me. I know you want to. Or I could go for the more innocent Gidget movies. But don't let her innocence fool you. She was pretty wild back in her day. Don't think I won't be taking surfing lessons by guys ten years my junior with beach blonde hair and tan (notice that's beach, not bleach).

Christmas Gift

Christmas was once again a magnificent experience. How could I not enjoy Christmas when I have the most loving and generous family on the face of the planet? We are so loving that it's disgusting...I love it, so go ahead and be disgusted!

One of the gifts I received on Christmas that has just stayed with me is the gift of poison ivy. It's the gift that just keeps on giving. Once you think you've kicked the habit, it pops up in new and unexpected places. What I first thought was dry scalp and a peeling ear turned out to be oozing poison ivy. My little brother loved to refer to it as crusty dried yellow mustard. I have never felt more attractive as I did over Christmas. Andrew was great at pointing out my attractive traits: Poison Ivy/Mustard ear, the hug enormous pimple on my forehead and the one grey hair that is growing at my temple. Someone take my headshots NOW!

But I have to admit that my case of poison ivy could not compare to Patricks which is growing all over and then some. Apparently the steroid shots didn't do much but bring him into the world class baseball arena.

Where did we find the poison ivy in December? In Texas rappelling down a cliff of course! Where else!??

Resolutions

You all know my issues with grocery stores. Yesterday didn't help matters at all! I'm a pretty healthy eater usually. When I cook at home/eat at home, I do the basics and keep it simple. I usually buy the same things when I go to the store. So I gathered up the courage to brave the Jewel and stock up on some goods. Not only is this Jewel just dirty looking but it is always packed and let's face it, it's just not a wonderful experience. My irritation with this whole process was geared more towards the consumer this trip.

I was just IRRITATED at the people who decided to eat healthy for all of 5 days after their New Years resolutions were established. All of the good vegetables were taken. The fruit was ransacked. Chicken breasts that are usually plentiful...no where to be found. I had to build a contraption to reach the last box of Kashi left abandoned on the shelf.

You know what? I gave it a good effort and walked away with food that could make half of a good meal. I have salad with no protein, bread with no meat, and that's about it. But I do have cereal. Cereal is always good for any meal. It's my favorite recipe.

New Star Crush!

Okay, so maybe he's not a new star crush but he's definitely someone to think about and entertain the lonely over the holidays. Jessie, Maggie and I went to see The Family Stone last night for $5 movie night (such a bargain these days...plus free popcorn). The movie was pretty good, not great. The first half of the movie I pretty much hated everyone. No one was kind... or merciful... or normal. The one redeeming person in the movie was Luke Wilson. Therefore, I have a crush. Now I had a New Years resolution last year that I am to have no more star crushes. And I really don't have one on Luke...okay, maybe a tiny one. His character was just so likeable. Maybe in reality he wouldn't be likeable but with the mosaic of dysfunction in his family, he was a gem!

Jessie really is the one with the crush. She's stated her crush-like feelings for a while. So last night on the way home I was mentioning how he's a great guy because not only is he from Texas but also from Dallas!! Check out the film Bottle Rocket...it was filmed there (another Wilson/Anderson collaboration). You can see one of my old high school rival schools in one of the scenes (St. Marks). So I told her that I would probably run into him in Dallas and she went on and on about how cool that would be. I asked, "what if we meet and then I make out with him...how would you feel?" I am so mean! She said she would be jealous but "if someone makes out with him, it might as well be a friend." Then I mentioned my concern about the danger of his pointy jaw. That could put someone in the hospital.

Laser Update

Yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life! I ventured into American Laser Centers during my lunch break to be zapped. I have to admit that the preparation itself took longer than the zapping. I had to make sure that everything was exactly the way I wanted it before I went in. I'll spare you the details. I feel as though I've already said too much.

The process was much less painful than I had expected. It felt more like someone was flicking my skin or snapping a rubberband. But the pain went away instantly. The weird part was the gel they had to use on your skin. EWWWWWWWWWWWW! And I did feel a bit exposed to say the least. Revealing is the word I'll choose. Again, I'll spare you the details. But I did have to wear these cool sunglasses to protect my eyes. Basically I think that they make you wear the glasses to bring a little modesty to the process. This way neither of us can see what the other person is really thinking.

No ice packs were needed. I walked out of the office like nothing had happened. I just can't wait for this whole process to be OVER!

Good Question!

Because Jessie and I had hours of fun in the car driving to and from Danny's wedding, we got to know eachother better. We asked questions like the following:

1. If you fell in love with a wonderful man with the last name spelled S.C.H.I.T.Z, would you keep your own last name? We agreed that it would be a very unfortunate thing but we disagreed with what we would do.

2. If you could have any song writer write you a love song, who would you choose? Jessie chose James Taylor and I of course said Bono.

3. If you could have any song playing while you danced with a man that you just realized is the love of your life, what would it be? Tough Question! I don't think we ever came up with a solid answer.

4. What movie/literary character best represents you? I said Jo from Little Women. I think Jessie thought the same of herself.

5. If you could have acted in any movie, which would you choose? I said "Sense & Sensability." I don't remember Jessie's choice.

6. If you had to marry one of your guy friends, who would you marry? So not revealing this one! Partially because I don't remember who I said.

7. If you could act in a movie with any co-star, who would it be? I said a young Mel Gibson.

8. What actor would you have play you in a movie about your life? I don't remember the answer to this question...probably Tyra Banks. Ha!

What about you? Any thoughts?

Quick!Paddle!! Finale

Last night was the final Quick!Paddle!! show after our extension. Little did we know that there would be yet ANOTHER extension. However, this is only for one show on New Years Day and I won't be there. I'll still be in the Promised Land of Texas.

I don't know what it was about the show last night. It was just ON. We all felt it and you could tell that we were having a great time. Thax Douglas was back and he hopes to make the next show too! That would be 5 shows for him. Our suggestion was "harmonious beans" and took place in a restaurant, again. At first I played a server who was always second to Amy, another server. I should have been Prom Queen and therefore I cut myself. I wasn't so inspired by that character so I went with one a little closer to home. I played the wife of a preacher and it was so much fun. My christianese came out and I was definitely an expert on the topic. She was a fun and random character. My husband and I brought peace to the kitchen and mended relationships through prayer and baptism.

It was fun to have friends in the audience. Jessie and Jason have proved to be my greatest fans. John, Chelsey and Anne made it out too. Plus Gina and Megan from the office showed up.

Once again I'm thankful to be able to perform with such a talented cast.

Wedding #317 in Year 2005

Guess who caught the bouquet? Yours truly! Granted there was never a bouquet toss. They were too smart and kind to do something so cruel. The bride and groom, my cousin Danny and his wife Angela, were speaking with me after the reception. They realized that they had never thrown the bouquet and therefore handed it to me. That makes four bouquets and zero magic. But hey, you never know, the magic could be around the corner. For instance, New Years. I mean, I'm bound to get all dressed up and head out to a party that will be sure to meet my expectations of the greatest night of my life! Uh huh, right. Classic night of disappointment that would probably land me asleep by 11:30 p.m. Oh yes, it's happened before (Beckles, remember Barry?). But this year will hopefully be a repeat of last years dinner party that kept me laughing for hours. Wait, how did I get on the topic of New Years?

The wedding was fabulous. I took a risk and went with the curly/wavy hair look. I kind of liked it and will have to test it out again. A couple of hours into the wedding people found me on the dance floor shaking my hips to Kenny Loggins' "Footloose" and the Village Peoples' "YMCA." Unfortunately my black velvet suit turned out to be a sweat factory. Three songs in and I had to remove my velvet suit top and just sport the strapless number. I felt a little pasty and a little revealing but I went with it. I took my chances. There weren't any mishaps of the top falling down in the middle of the "Y" motion with my arms during "YMCA."

One of the shining moments of the weekend was my sisters first baby shower. It really hit me that she IS GOING TO HAVE A BABY! I so can't wait for the baby to come. That way I can finally call it a "he" or "she" instead of "it." She is going to be a fabulous mom. The shower was topped off by tears from me and my sister. Mom was too sick to come so she sent a note and a present which immediately made me and Erin cry like babies. She so knows how to do that to us!

Did I ever tell you how last week I watched "Little Women" and cried so hard (VERY LOUDLY) that I looked like I had been punched in the face? That was awesome! I needed that cry.

And finally, we saw the sites that Springfield had to offer! Sites in Springfield? Yesiree! If you ever have the chance to see the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Museum, DO IT!!! What an incredible museum filled with so much history. Who knew that Lincoln was so hated by the country? Interesting how he is so revered now. Plus they had awesome theaters showing films of his life. That's my review!

Game Night

With Jock Jams 4000 playing in the background Game Night I commenced. For weeks we've been trying to coordinate a game night. Nobody does those anymore and they are just good old fashioned fun. Alcohol didn't even enter the picture. See folks, these aren't drinking games. These are games for the intellectual and witty. That's me. Do you want to know what other people are intellectual and witty? John, Chelsey, Fernando, Anne, Jessie, Janell and I. Jenny is normally intellectual and witty but she was also very sick. We wanted no part of that!

The night had an ambience of white Christmas lights, jolly holiday tunes and the smell of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies...and fierce competition. Now what most people don't know about me is that I can be extremely competitive. And it's not pretty. But last night I was mostly all talk because I couldn't yell at my teammates on our first game night. I'd never be invited again. So we laughed, giggled and patted eachother on the backs.

We played two different games last night: 1) Catch Phrase and 2) Apples to Apples. Normally Catch Phrase is a scene stealer but last night Apples to Apples was definitely the crowd favorite. You can talk, eat and play at the same time. Before we knew it it was almost midnight and this princess was about to turn into a pumpkin.

I'll post pictures from the night later.

FYI 2

My teeth have sweaters on them from the mounds of sugar I have consumed today.

FYI

I'm eating chocolate covered peanuts like it's popcorn. Someone rescue me. Anyone.

Laser Technology!

Praise the Lord! Those of you who have walked through many years of my open discussions on waxing can now rejoice with me! Beginning in one week I will be going through the laser hair removal process! It's been a long road of research, reservations and invasively intimate appointments. I am so excited about this that I could just give up chocolate forever (whoa! that was a strong statement. I take that back.)!

Yesterday I met with Amy at American Laser Centers and she walked me through the process. It's easy to say, I'M SOLD!!!!! I don't know one woman who wouldn't want to have this done. I mean, never having to shave or wax again! I might become addicted. Next I'll have my legs done, then my arms, then my eyebrows, then my head...wait. Slow down.

It's an expensive habit but I think it will be life-changing. I'll let you know how it goes.

Amen.

Feast

Santa has arrived at the office. The kitchen looks like it's been ravaged by mad hungry women. Why couldn't have all these goodies arrived two weeks ago when I was in the prime of my PMS'ing? At least devouring colonies of chocolate makes sense when you're about to start your period. It doesn't count. Now my raging chocoholism is purely for gluttonal reasons. It counts, and then some.

Let's see, what have I tasted today?
- chocolate chip cookie
- sugar/butter cookie
- chocolate covered plum
- chocolate covered pretzel
- chocolate covered popcorn

And the day isn't even nearly over! Someone please help me. I'm crying out for help! CAN'T YOU HEAR ME????!!!!!

I guess I'm going to have to walk through this alone. Well maybe not totally alone. There are 15 other women in this office who will happily walk with me....to the kitchen.

Winter Storm

So here it is, the picture of my neighborhood after the first winter storm of the season. Where's Katy's car? Let me know if you find it. I need to dig it out.

Singing Cab Driver

I absolutely love this city. I do! It must have something to do with the fact that every moment presents a potential adventure or curious meeting of interesting people.

Last night as Uncle Joe and I were leaving dinner there was near blizzard-like snow. As we stood on the corner in our puffy jackets looking like lost little kids, we searched for a cab amongst the crowded streets. Most taxis were already occupied and there was little hope. As if it was our destiny, a taxi pulled up behind a bus to let out a passenger and Joe and I quickly hopped in the empty cab. Our cab driver was very friendly and talkative. I noticed how he chose to wear a suit as he worked. Obviously he took pride in his work. Our driver navigated us through the slippery streets and drove us a mile in 20 minutes. We dropped off Joe at his hotel and then the taxi driver and I were off on the second leg of our adventure.

On our way to Adobo (for the most delicious Margaritas anyone has ever tasted!), he reveals to me that he is Ray St. Ray: the Singing Cab Driver. Oh yes, he really does exist! He gave me a card and everything. He offered to sing me a song and since we weren't getting anywhere fast I was happy to oblige him. He said, "What kind? I have songs about: life, love, sex, social significance, dreams and other." I optioned for love. He then said, "sappy, sad, love for the intellectual, cautious, lustful..." When I had chosen love for the cautious he immediately began the show. The show had lighting and everything! I was extremely impressed. Besides being a little quirky, he had a funny song and wonderful presentation. I would be happy to ride with him again. Unfortunately you can't just call up and request Ray St. Ray. He says that it "is a cosmically selective process who gets the Singing Cab Driver. When your kharma is due, [i'll] arrive to make your day, shamelessly promote [my] career agenda and deliver you to your destination in one piece, right side up!" After 14 years, 8 months and 8 days of driving, he sure has built up a repetoire of songs: 81 to be exact! All written by him, all unique and all sure to make you smile!

I hope that someday you too will have the joy of riding with Ray St. Ray.

Blizzard '05

Yesterday was amazing. I absolutely love snow. Maybe it's the Texas girl in me, but I'm still somehow fascinated by the accumulation of pure, white snow. So maybe it's not totally pure because we do live in the city and I definitely don't want to eat a handful anytime soon. But there's something absolutely romantic and wonderful about the city in snow. I love how the streets are quieter when it snows. People are less in a hurry and it gives a purpose to the cold.

As you can see from the pictures some poor corvette driving soul is going to have to dig his car out of the snow. Bless his heart.

I also took a picture of my neighborhood in the daylight this morning. I'll be sure to post that one soon.

Picture Worthy

You have the Reynolds girl look. Reynolds girls had the typical British beauty. The eighteenth century British portrait painters would have been attracted by your brilliant complexion and your classical features. Sir Joshua Reynolds loved to paint girls like you in white dresses with blue satin sashes. Reynolds and other portrait painters of his time also portrayed blue eyed, dark-haired girls, and golden-haired ones too, plus the occasional red-head. The following painters would have painted you; Sir Joshua Reynolds and Sir Thomas Lawrence.

Oh this is WAY fun! I was introduced to this by one of my favorite blogs: Amy Loves Books. Girls, which artist would paint you? Take this quiz on quizilla and find out. Mine was Sir Joshua Reynolds. Interesting. Better than Picasso.

Warm Fuzzies

Thank you to everyone who has been kind enough to express concern for my well being today. It's this kindness that is keeping me warm and allowing me to walk to and from building to building in the cold.

I have one question: HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN ZERO DEGREES WHEN AWOKE THIS MORNING? I'm in denial that it is actually December. This means that we still have three more months of these frigid temperatures. I heard someone mention that this was supposed to be the WORST winter we've had in a while. I chose not to believe that. I'm still holding onto the slim hope that the rest of the winter will not contain all single digit temperatures.

This morning I had to run to the gym to work out and then afterward I had to move my car from the school zone (I somehow remembered where I parked my car). Why didn't I wear my big puffy sleeping bag coat? At first it wasn't too bad, but after a block I could hardly feel my butt and thighs (even with it's extra winter padding). Let's not even talk about how I had to sit on the frozen leather seats with my already frozen toosh. I had dirt on the windshield but couldn't clean it off due to everything freezing. Speaking of freezing, I did something stupid. I know, you're shocked. I left my laundry detergent in my car and it's now this gel/paste like substance. It may take months to thaw.

The good news is that the heat is on and our apartment is toasty. Unfortunately my comfort isn't exactly translating into an affordable energy/gas bill. But I am thankful that I have a job that allows me to have a place to live... with heat.

So I say that it's so cold that my butt is freezing off. But why doesn't it really freeze off? Couldn't I have a couple of inches here and there freeze off? WAIT! I know why! Because then I wouldn't have the opportunity to work up a sweat as I'm hiking my freshly dried jeans over my thighs. See, it's God's protection. Amen.

Celebrity Look-a-Like

It's official. I look like Shania Twain. I knew I resembled greatness somewhere out there. My sister just introduced me to the greatest website! My Heritage does face recognition. Just download a picture of yourself and they will analyze your face and match you up with your celebrity look-a-like. I also resemble Doris Day, Penelope Cruz and two of my favorites: Kate Winslet and Audrey Tautou. Uh oh, I also resemble Katie Holmes. I have both Penelope and Katie on my list. Am I destined to end up with Tom Cruise and give silent births? I certainly hope not!

I also resemble Lance Armstrong and Elijah Wood. Now that's random. It seems as if I'm destined to take great painful adventures.

Erin and I definitely resemble eachother. I mean, we are sisters. She too got the Shania Twain nod.

Belly

It appears that over Thanksgiving I am either going to be giving birth to a child or I ate too much. Seeing as the first would have to be a virgin birth, it's probably the latter.

I went shopping with my sister, Erin, for maternity clothes (may I remind you that they were for HER, not me). She could not be cuter being preggers. No doubt one of her boobs weighs as much as my head. Bless her heart. After much laughter and tears (sometimes both at the same time) we finally found some great clothes that don't make her look like a ho. She was a great sport.

I'm thinking that I may want to purchase some of those maternity jeans after my Thanksgiving binge. I mean, who would really notice? Only I would really know. But then again, it may allow me to continue on this path to destruction.

One of the girls I work with works right near the kitchen and I have to pass by her office every time I enter. I'm seriously thinking of buying her a taser gun to shoot me anytime I venture into the kitchen for those "treats" that everyone keeps bringing around the holiday season. Seriously, I can hardly help myself. So I need other people to help me.

Tonight I went running. Last night I ate cookies and drank hot apple cider. I think I'm turning a corner. I'm not sure which corner exactly, but it's a corner.

Christmas Treat

Because it's snowing in Chicago and it feels like Christmas out, I am giving everyone a little treat today. Who on earth has the time to do something like this? Not me, but I'm appreciating the skill and artistry.

MASHER

So yesterday my good friend John informed me that he too loves to play the game MASH. Such joy! So through emails we played MASH (actually my favorite version: MASHER - includes an Estate and a Ranch)!

Here is my future:
Once upon a time, a young lady named Katy--from Dallas--grew up to become a very sucessful writer from her estate in Parachute, Colorado. When not sucessfully writing, Katy drives her two children around in her Toyota 4 Runner. When the pressures of Parachute get her down, she makes the short 1,000 drive north to her summer home in Missoula, Montana... where she recounts the romantic details of her wedding in Breckenridge, CO (a short 2 and a half hours east of Parachute) and her even more romantic Honeymoon in Maui (that's in Hawaii). Unfortunately for her, she was forced to marry John (of course, who doesn't want that?)... but the rest of her life is pretty sweet.
The End.

How will I ever break this to John's sweet girlfriend Miss Chelsey?

Hot Lunch

So I ventured out to Corner Bakery with my friend Erin. We are disheartened in the fact that this store is closing. I truely is our Bakery on the Corner. We've lunched there so frequently that everyone knows us by name. I mean, the tomato basil soup brings such comfort to the soul! So long dear friend.

While eating our delicious meals, we sat next to three fairly attractive looking men. This struck us as unusual there in the Corner Bakery. Not often do you see three attractive STRAIGHT young men sipping soup and eating bagels. We really didn't pay much attention until both of us heard the phrase, "yeah, she's gained like 20-30 pounds since I broke up with her." I was so aghast that I nearly spit the delicious tomato basil soup into Erin's face. I mean, did he REALLY think that it was because of him? huh? psshhh. wha? yeah riiiight! I really really really really wanted to say something in response. But then I realized that I was shoving my face with food.

Winter Tundra

CAPTAINS LOG

Starship 854. Today is our third straight day with no heat in the home. The residents are looking weak and tired. Communication went out to the Intergallactic Landlords. The response was negative. As of 1700 hours yesterday there was still no heat. The Intergallactic Landlords sent in reinforcements of three space heaters. NOT GOOD ENOUGH. These heaters give out as much heat as a candle. Tragedy also occured in that the maintenance crew erected plastic over the windows to block out additional winds caused by cracks and holes. Plastic was put over the blinds prohibiting access to the opening and closing of the blinds. NOT HAPPY. I might have to take retallitory action.

Thanksgiving

THANKSGIVING WEEKEND
Not even waiting 4 hours in an aiport to catch a flight back home to Dallas could get me down! Who cares if I was turned away TWICE as a standbye for an earlier flight? Who cares if I was just single digits away to arriving in the promise land of Texas 3 hours earlier? I was going home!

On the airplane I sat next to a kind gentlemen who I gently had to inform that I was a good 6-7 years older than him. I could see the crush building in his eyes and I wanted to spare him the agony that Thanksgiving Day. I was greeted at the airport by none other than the newlyweds and Cade, the greatest dog EVER! After filling myself up on the much missed Chic Fil'A, I saw the newlywed apartment which looks more like a home. So welcoming and beautiful. I went home to see the folks and was visited by two of my best friends, Beckles (newly engaged) and Katherine (newly married). I'm seeing a trend here. Becky and I stayed up late laughing and mourning the fact that she's getting married....that just means less slumber parties. It's so good to have friends and family that I can't wait to see when I go home!

We carried on our 27 year tradition of running the YMCA Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. For the first time in 5 years I didn't run the 8 miler. I really had high hopes that I could just crank it out. I think Becky and I happily talked eachother out of it and ran the 3 miler. I realized something that day....I'm prideful. Yes, it's true. I felt humbled that I couldn't cut the 8 miler. Yes I still had on the blue 8 miler racing number but I just couldn't do it. I have a motivation for next year. How on earth could I possibly still be passing walkers at mile 2? Too many people holding hands and walking babies to run a safe race. Do not get me started on this topic!

Then we went home and ate and ate and ate and ate! It was so gorgeous in Texas that we ate outside. Then I watched football (poor Cowboys) followed by a nap that nearly knocked me out for hours. Nothing like a turkey coma. I'm still sick from the amount of food that was eaten that day.

All in all, it was a fabulous weekend and could not have been more restful.

LOVE BIRDS
I must be PMS'ing. I sat in the back seat of the newlyweds car on the way home from a movie Thursday night. I found myself rolling my eyes and holding back loud sighs at the mushiness I was witnessing before my very eyes. There was baby talk, brushing the hair away from the other persons face, and just plain ol' lovey doveyness that just about drove me crazy!

It's not them, it's me.

MAID OF HONOR
It's official! I'm Beckles Maid of Honor! And it is definitely an honor. Last night she through a party for her own 30th birthday. She brought party favors for the 6 of us who she invited to the party. They were little boxes covered in pictures of us with her over the years. We each opened up the box and in it was a note asking us to be part of her wedding. She went on to honor us by telling us why she chose us to stand by her on her wedding day.

It's amazing how our friendship has grown over the past 6 1/2 years. She brings out the best in people and I've definitely needed her as a friend. Sadly, her engagement signals the end of MASH games.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!
Today is the big 60!!! She doesn't even look it! I just want to tell her happy birthday and let her know how much I love her. She is exactly who I want to be when I grow up.

Quick!Paddle!!

I'm in mourning. There's no way to describe how sad I am that my I.O. 5b performances are over. Quick!Paddle!! has come to its end (at least for me this week). Once again we had a great show this Sunday. Other classes mentioned after the show that our class "always puts up a solid performance." I've worked with the most talented, creative, supportive and encouraging people through the I.O. program. I feel a great loss. It's almost like high school graduation; knowing that you love these people but you'll never all be together again in the same capacity. If I had my way, our class would be chosen as a team and we'd continue performing our steadycam form together. The great part is that I think we all feel that way. Who knows!

I've added a picture of our group. We're missing a couple of people and you may notice a tall bearded man that looks like a cross between Jerry Garcia and Santa Claus. His name is Thax Douglas and he is a poet that opens for bands around Chicago. He has opened for us twice and it always brings an element of sophistication and weirdness. I love it. We are the first improv group he has ever opened up for in his life! He's never seen improv. I'm honored.

I'm also honored that my group asked me to intro the show seeing that it was my last time to perform with them and that my dad and aunt were in the audience. Let's just say that openings are not my forte. I stuttered and stumbled but somehow made it through! People were probably wondering how I could ever perform improv. You know they got that nervous cringe feeling while I was up there. Oh well. They got over it after our fine performance.

This time around, our suggestion was "greasy monkey." We began in a restaurant that turned out to be the Rainforest Cafe. We had simulated apes and guides popping out throughout the show. Hilarious. I played a small part that ended up being mostly a game. But I loved being able to be someone small but energetic at the same time. I think that only made sense to me and the other people who may have seen the show.

So I'm mourning a bit tonight.

A New Look

I'm ready for a new look. I've curled my hair for the past two days and I'm just feeling the need for a change.

I'm introducing this change in my blog too. I'm computer illiterate and needed a template that would spruce me up a little. So here you go. My new blog! Notice it's the same name, just a different address. Just like I'm the same girl, but with a different hair-do.

So I'm going to post this and give it a whirl. I want to see what this whole thing may look like.

Deep Thoughts by Katy

I've had really deep thoughts this morning. Left to contemplate the issues of life, I've discovered the following:
This looks like a woman with big boobs lying down on her side:
o3:<
Save me from myself. PLEEEEEEASE!

Oh and I also had a dream the other night that I could harmonize with everything. It was one of the most awesome dreams I've ever had. I'm almost positive that I was actually singing out loud in my sleep. Even more awesome.

Sex in the City

This morning as I finished running with my old roommate and we were visiting a friend I began to feel like something wasn't right. Remnants from my dream the night before started sneaking into my thoughts. When all of a sudden I gasped and said, "ewwwwwwwwwww." They looked at me and all I could say was, "I just remembered my dream last night!"
It's one of those dreams that scares you a little. It makes you wonder, "what if this happened in real life? What would I do?!" I dreamed that I was getting married to someone that I really didn't know. He seemed nice and was definitely a good looking person but I just wasn't attracted to this person and the thought of spending the rest of my life with him scared me to death. Of course the process for getting ready for the wedding in my dream took forever. The razor kept slipping out of my hands as I tried to shave my legs. I couldn't find my clothes and people were running around everywhere. Then I found a pair of underwear he had given me to wear for the wedding (random! and ewwwwwww). I'm sure if I liked him I would have been more keen on the sentiment. Somehow we ended up getting married and the whole dream ended with me telling my mom I wasn't going to go on the honeymoon. Being the wonderful mom that she is, she just hugged me and told me, "I thought so."
SCARY! The thought of that happening in real life is just a little too much. Note to self: Be careful with who you date! And what possibly could have prompted this dream? An episode of Sex in the City at 10:00 last night. You know the one where Charlotte marries Trey even though she has major reservations? Yep, that's the one. Second note to self: No more Sex in the City before I go to sleep.

Weddings, Bouquet Tosses and More

Sorry I have been away and absent from updating my life stories. I have been a professional wedding attendant recently. A couple of weeks ago I read at my older brothers wedding. It was an amazing weekend and Patrick and Alicia were so happy and in love. I saw people who I hadn't seen in 10 or more years. What fun surprises! And yes, I was also the hot sister thanks to my dazzling and expensive dress. It did the trick and was well worth the cash.
Then last week I was in Little Rock Arkansas for my friend Katherine's wedding. Once again, I saw people I had not seen in almost a decade. It's wild to see old friends married with their kids running around. The marrieds and the few of us singletons sat around talking. We all agreed that sometimes, many times, the grass appears greener on the other side. The singletons want nothing more than to be married and the marrieds are jealous of the freedom that the singletons have in their lives. I walked away from that weekend happy for my friends and content in my life. I think that's a huge blessing. I also got to spend much of the weekend with my friend, Hannah, who lives in Summit County, CO. She's a rockstar. She is a ski patrol by winter, river guide by summer and apparently treks India in the fall. She'll put any of us so-called athletes to shame. She's also an amazing singer and guitarist. A Renaissance woman...if you will.
After my tour of weddings completed, I got news of my best friends engagement! Lucky me was in on the surprise. Her fiance, Russell, allowed me to see the ring before mailing it to him in Texas. GORGEOUS! It was an honor to play a part in the whole thing. I would be so lucky to have a guy and...of course a ring like she has! So it looks like the tour of weddings will begin again in the spring. But I don't mind. Who doesn't like to celebrate? She better make sure I look hot in that bridesmaides dress. And please no throwing of the bouquet. Thank you Kat and Patrick and Alicia for opting out of that tradition left best to kids just out of college. I don't like being the only 29 year old on the floor with 13 year old cousins. Seriously, why do people insist on dragging you out there and making a show of you being in your late 20's and still single? NOT FUN nor FUNNY! Soap box over.
I had my two shows for IO and Level 4 at Second City Sunday. I have to say that I was really pleased with the Second City show. We had 20 minutes to plan right before the show taken from suggestions made in class. It was wild and intense coming up with an improv set that included 5 scenes and 4 blackouts. There were quite a few laughs and definitely some scenes that needed to be nixed. But it was a first time performance of the improv set and I was proud of my class.
My IO show continued in it's weirdness yet I still liked it. This time I played a twin with Kristen and we talked at the same time. It got old for me after a while. Oh well.
I do have such a talented IO class. I wish we could all stick together and perform as a team. Not only are they talented, but they are wonderful people. Nothing but love gushing after the shows. It's a nice change from what my Second City class can sometimes be like. But from what I hear, that's normal. Tension in a class of debutantes is nothing new.
Whew! That's quite the update. I think I may be the only one who read through the whole thing.

Single HOT Sister

What is the deal? WHAT IS THE DEAL???????!!!!!!! I have an issue. And that issue is the fact that I cannot remember where I park lately. It's just better that I don't drive. Why you may ask? Well, because I keep getting parking tickets! Why can I not remember that I parked in the school zone? It's not like it's a measley $25 ticket. NO! It's 50 smackers each time I forget to move my car by 7:00 AM. So not only have I done that once in the last two weeks, but TWICE! Count 'em, one, TWO! I guess the work bonus I just received will go straight to parking tickets. And maybe a purchase at Anthropologie (I spelled it right this time John). Or maybe a gold pair of shoes to go with my new dress.
Why did I buy a new dress? I didn't buy one just because I like to spend money on myself. I didn't buy it because I needed one more thing to put in my closet (which broke by the way....I think that says something). My older brother is getting married!!!! Patti-O is finally tying the knot! This my friends, I could not be more excited to celebrate. One week from tomorrow I will be watching my older bro make his vows to the lovely Alicia (who could not make a better sister-in-law!). Naturally with the older brother getting married and the younger sister having a baby, I have to look my hottest. I say this because I have to! I am the single sister. Do you understand what this means? All eyes will be on me (I'm so narcissistic) and wondering, "when is she getting married?" So you can see that I need to be the single HOT sister at the wedding! There, I've said my piece.
Well, maybe I should be the joyful sister who loves her family and is loving her life! That might be a bit more like me than the single hot sister. That's just a little too trampy sounding for me. Besides, all my brothers friends are married. Well, there is one...but as always, I am Patrick's younger sister! FOREVER!

Sing Some on the Side

This weekend was completely exhausting. It was exhausting, exhiliarating and exhausting once again. I felt great accomplishment after pulling off an event with the help of wonderful volunteers that hosted almost 10,000 people (according to the news). I love the feeling of sweet success and the peace that comes after it. Now I need a massage.
My exhaustion clearly played a role in a recent audition I had Monday night. It wasn't for anything super special but it was an audition and I always like to succeed. I should have known that things wouldn't go as smoothly as one would hop when I couldn't finish my own sentences. Words escaped my brain and I obviously wasn't thinking clearly. But hey, I went for it. Right?
Twelve of us were funneled into a tiny room and stood before 10 writers and directors. One by one we had to go before them, introduce ourselves and perform a given task while speaking about our careers. Okay, not too tough. Nothing I haven't done before in an improv class. But you must know one thing about me, sometimes I have a difficult time talking and performing an action. So you can see where I'm going with this. I was the last one to perform. I was given the frantic event of having just burned a lasagna in the oven (how they know me so well...one would think it should be second nature). Well, I was so frazzled that I wasn't thinking and just started speaking. I don't even know what I said! But I do remember the last thing that came out of my mouth. I had begun a sentence and didn't know how to finish it. It went something like this (picture me waving an improv towel in the air to break up the improv smoke...yes it looked as ridiculous as it sounds), "And then I also......ummm....ummm...(brain fart)...sing some on the side." WHAT!????? ME? SING ON THE SIDE???? Blatant lie! Bad girl, bad girl! Well, maybe if you count singing happy birthday to a friend an hour before hand. Not only did I lie but I got caught. Not 30 seconds later did they ask us to sing two songs....TWO!!!!
So now the running joke is that I also "sing some on the side." Sing in my shower and car maybe. Or when my roommates and I bust out with an 80's love ballad.
I am so shocked that I didn't receive a call asking me to be part of the show. SHOCKED!!!! Well, you can't have everything can you?